Page 160 of Deadly Sweet

I watch the two of them, a smile on my own face because how can I not feel anything but pure joy while looking at the two of them.

I’ve been with the guys for about a month now, and Jake and I have spent hours in deep conversation, telling me about his life and how it’s been for the past few years. He told me some stories about our past life together, but none of my past has come back to me.

I’m not ready to know everything because sometimes I find it frustrating that I can’t remember but he can. For the most part I try not to think about it and get to know my best friend for who we are now. It’s a fresh start with no pressure from the past.

There is one thing I realized and I have no idea how I didn’t see it before, but when in that room, locked up away from the world, one of the things they allowed me to have was tea.

I’m not sure if I asked for it, or if they just gave it to me but it was always chamomile and lavender. It settled something inside me, gave me an inner peace I didn’t know I had.

All along, I had a piece of him with me, something to settle my heart and soul while we were apart. Chamomile and lavender will forever smell like home. I can’t explain it. It just is.

“She’s so cute.” Carter gets up from his chair to walk over to the baby. She looks at him and smiles around the fist that's in her mouth. “Hi there.” She babbles away, making him laugh. “She reminds me of my sister.”

“You have a sister?” I ask.

“Yeah.” Carter's face falls. “But she’s dead.”

My fucking heart slams into my ribcage.

“I’m so sorry,” I whisper, looking at Jake. But if the look on his face is any indication, he didn’t know.

“She died when she was two. My dad was supposed to be watching her, and she choked and died. He was too busy watching TV. I tried to help, but I didn’t know what I was doing.”

I can see him on the verge of crying—hell, so am I—so I think fast, trying to figure out a way to get his mind off it because what the hell is going on right now?

“If you ever need baby cuddles, Athena gives the best ones. Don’t you, Little Bug.”

She screws up her face and lets out a big fart.

And because farts are the funniest things ever to little boys, Carter bursts into laughter, forgetting all about what was making him sad, and we join him.

Once we get the baby back in the stroller and set up to play with some toys, I grab some black nail polish out of her bag.

“Really?” Jake chuckles, shaking his head, but he knows the drill and places his hand on the table.

“What's that?” Carter asks, leaning over to get a good look.

“Nail polish,” I answer him as I uncap the bottle and take out the brush. Wiping off the excess, I start to paint Jake’s nails.

“Are you painting his nails?” Carter asks curiously.

“Yup.”

“But why?”

“Because he likes it.” I shrug, moving to the next finger.

“But that's for girls.”

“Says who?” I flick my gaze over to Carter.

“The boys in my class.”

I huff. “Those boys don’t know what they’re talking about. Anyone can have their nails painted. Boys or girls. It’s just color. It’s fun and it looks cool. Jake always has them done at home, but never wears them to school.”

“Why not?”

“Yeah, Jake, why not?” I raise a brow at my Alpha. I know the reason. He said it’s because one time, one of the female teachers made fun of him right to his face. Asked if he was gay, and when Jake told her no, she looked at him like he was out of his mind.

---