Page 198 of Deadly Sweet

“Another rat? Lovely, just lovely,” Caleb whines like a child.

“Stop acting like a little bitch,” Duchess huffs. “It’s not a rat. It’s a hedgehog.”

“He’s so sweet.” Jake laughs as the little guy starts sniffing him. “Thank you, Sweet Girl.”

The joy on Jake’s face is all the thanks I need. I love making my Alphas happy.

“What are you going to name him?” Lucy asks, taking a seat next to him.

“I don’t know.” Jake holds the hedgehog up to look him in the face. “Hhmm. He looks like a Bowley Pintips to me.”

“What kind of name is that?” Caleb raises a brow.

Jake looks up at me and smiles when he answers Caleb’s question. “It’s a character in the Redwall series by Brian Jacques. It’s something we both read when we were kids. Something we... I don’t know, something we bonded over.” His cheeks turn pink as he looks away.

My heart swells. “I think Bowley Pintips is a perfect name.”

“Hey,” Duchess saysas we reach the door. “Doc wanted me to give this to you.”

She pulls a piece of paper out of her pocket and hands it to me. “What is it?”

“The results from the latest rounds of testing you had done.”

Nerves spike as I open the paper and look down. “I have no idea what I’m reading,” I mutter after looking at whatever the hell is on the paper.

Duchess laughs. “Pretty much what Doc told me was that everything looks good. That there’s no long-term damage that’s showing up. She’s tested you for everything imaginable, and you come back as a healthy Omega. Physically, at least.”

“What does this mean?” I fold the paper back up. “Why haven’t I had my heat yet?”

“She doesn’t know. According to the tests, you should have had it as soon as you were clean of the drugs Corbin gave you.”

“But I haven’t,” I groan, leaning against the door frame. “I mean, I’ve had some spikes. Moments where all I want to do is fuck. But after an orgasm or two, I’m fine.”

“She says that it’s possible those could have been mini heats. Your body's way of easing you into a normal heat cycle. It’s like when a Beta or Alpha is on birth control for a long time and it fucks with their periods. After you go off it, it takes a little while before your cycles even out.”

“I guess that makes sense.”

“Or... It could be a mental block.” She gives me this look I don’t like.

“What?” I narrow my eyes.

“Have you talked to the guys about your past heat experiences?”

“No.” I look away, my stomach turning.

“Why not? They're your pack. They love you, Savvy. They would never judge you.”

“I don’t want their pity.” I turn to her with angry tears filling my eyes as my breathing picks up speed. “I don’t want to be looked at like I’m broken.”

“You're not broken,” she growls, gripping my shoulders. “I know you’re one bad-ass Omega, Savvy. You’ve taken everything that’s happened to you like a champ. You’ve never let it break you or beat you down. But the fact is, what happened to you is... there’s no simple way to put it, but it was horrifying and traumatic. Down right fucked up and sinister. I know you don’t remember it happening to you, and I’m so glad that of all the things you don’t remember, it’s that. But you were still forced to watch the videos he took.”

“I know!” I shout. “I know, okay. Trust me, I know.” I hate feeling like this. Vulnerable and raw.

She pulls me into a hug, holding me tight, and I have to bite the inside of my cheek to keep myself from breaking down. “It’s okay to let them in,” she whispers. “It’s okay to break in front of them because you know they will be there to put you back together. It doesn’t make you weak to let them in, Savvy, if anything it makes you so fucking strong to open up and trust them with your story.”

“I don’t want them to look at me differently.” I sniff, my hands gripping the back of her shirt.

“They know enough about what’s happened to you. The things that monster did. Has that changed how they see you? Savvy, babe, you kill people for a living, and these men still look at you like you hung the moon. Do you really think anything you tell them will change the way they see you?”

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