Page 199 of Deadly Sweet

“No,” I whisper, knowing damn well it’s the truth.

“Then tell them. Trust them. Let them be there for you. You can’t keep everything bottled up forever. It will slowly eat you alive.”

“Okay,” I whisper back. I hate how right she is. I’ve been brushing everything off, pushing it to the back of my mind because I didn't want anything to break the perfect little pack bubble we’ve had with the fear of one wrong move, one wrong confession changing everything.

After Lucy and Duchessleft, I went straight upstairs and got ready for the day. I needed the time to think and clear my mind. I didn’t want the guys questioning me on my change in mood, not today. I didn’t want to ruin Christmas with my fucked up past.

Supper with Walker’s family was good. I’m not the biggest fan of his father. He always seems to have a stick up his ass. But he’s not the worst man that I’ve ever met, so there‘s that. He just always looks at me funny, and I stay away so I don’t get the urge to stab him. But his mom and sisters are wonderful. They don't mind my odd ways. His sisters are pretty odd, too, so we get along pretty well.

By the time we get home from supper, everyone is exhausted.

Athena is passed out cold as I place her in her bassinet.

“Sleep tight, Little Bug,” I whisper as my fingers linger on her chubby cheek.

Athena moved back down to her nursery a few months ago. It’s been an adjustment for all of us. I got so used to having her sleeping nearby, where I could listen to her breathe, or check on her quickly if needed.

But as time went by, the fear of something bad happening lessened.

Also, nothing kills the mood like knowing there’s a baby nearby. I refuse to have sex if she’s in the room and always having to go to another room is a pain in the ass.

Still, to ease my mind, we got the best baby monitor money can buy.

Pressing a kiss to her hand, then to her cheek, I leave her to sleep and head upstairs to find my Alphas already half-naked in bed.

“How have we not all had sex together?” I ask as I step into the room.

They all look at me. “Ah, what?” Walker asks.

“You know, group sex.”

“Look, I love these guys but I’m sorry, their cocks aren’t going anywhere near me,” Caleb retorts.

“So Savvy can fuck you in the ass but we can’t?” Walker grins.

“Damn fucking right.” Caleb nods.

“Not like that.” I wave Caleb off and get undressed myself, letting my dress fall to the floor.

All four eyes are glued to my skin. I love it when they look at me like this, like they want to eat me, like I’m the most stunning thing to ever be gazed upon.

“I mean, like, don’t packs have sex together? Like all you doing stuff to me.”

They all look at one another. “I mean, yeah,” Caleb agrees before adding, “We’ve just never done that before.” He shrugs.

“All packs are different. Some Omegas like their Alphas one-on-one and only like taking them all at once during their heats. Others prefer to have one, some, or all.”

“So we haven’t had sex together because I haven’t had a heat.” I swallow hard, not liking the feeling I get from that. “Well, sorry to break it to you, but who the fuck knows when I’m going to have one of those.” I force a laugh and go over to the window, unable to look at them right now, or I might cry.

“Savvy.” Leroy's soft voice has a whimper trying to slip free. “The reason why we haven’t done anything as a group is that you’ve never shown any interest in that. We didn’t want to push you into doing something you weren't comfortable with.”

“Because of my past, right?” I ask, voice low, but I know they hear me.

“Little Monster, come here,” Leroy urges me. It’s not a demand, but his voice is firm. “I want to hold you while we talk, okay?”

Ugh. I can't even say no because all I want to do is be surrounded by their touch and scents.

Sighing heavily, I make my way over to them and sit on Leroy’s lap. He wraps his arms around me, and I snuggle into his touch.

---