Page 200 of Deadly Sweet

The guys all shift on the bed so that we’re making a little circle.

“I think it’s about time we talked about some things,” I mumble.

“You don’t have to tell us anything you don’t want to,” Jake reminds me, placing a hand on my knee and giving it a comforting squeeze.

“But I do, though. You're my pack. The people who love me no matter what, right?”

“Fuck yeah,” Caleb says.

“Of course,” Leroy murmurs.

“Absolutely,” Jake agrees.

“Always,” Walker growls low.

You can do this, Savvy. Trust your men. Be open with them. They’ve got you. You're safe. It’s okay.

“Duchess gave me some test results. I got the doctor to run a whole list of tests on me because it’s been ten months since I’ve come down off whatever drug Corbin was pumping into me that controlled my heats.”

“He what?” Caleb growls, and I shoot him a look. “Sorry,” he mumbles. “Keep going.”

“I appreciate that you care, and I know what I’m about to tell you is going to invoke anger and rage, but please, keep it inside for now because I need to get this all out in one go or I’m not sure if I’ll ever have the balls to talk about this again.”

I get a round of acknowledgements before I continue.

And then I tell them. I tell them about the drugs, the controlling of my heats. All the fucked up shit Corbin would do to me. How he would treat me and talk to me. That he recorded it all only to make me watch it later on repeat.

“My heats were never a pleasant experience. That much I can guarantee. As much as I love the dirty talk or the way you guys can take control, I didn’t like what he did to me.” My voice cracks as I feel myself starting to break in Leroy’s arms.

“But in the videos, it looked like I did. I kept wanting more, begging for more. But I didn’t really want it,” I insist as tears spill down my cheeks. “I didn’t want to be beaten. I didn’t want to be called a useless hole or told that no one would ever love me. I didn’t want to get on my knees and beg him to fuck me. It wasn’t me. That girl wasn’t me. It’s what he forced me into.”

My body shakes as I break into a full-on meltdown. Everything comes crashing down. All the walls I’ve built, the things I've pushed down.

The sounds that leave me aren't human. With every gut-wrenching sob, every scream that makes my throat sore, I feel the poison in my soul start to seep out and evaporate.

“Shhh.” Leroy rocks me, his voice cracking. His arms tremble as he holds me too tight, yet not tight enough.

My pack surrounds me and hands soothe me as they tell me how much they love me, that they’re so sorry it happened to me, that they will never hurt me like he did.

I’m so far gone that the world around me disappears, but as they blanket me with their bodies, surround me with their scents and relax me with their purrs that tether me to reality, I swear I can hear them crying too.

They’re crying for me. No cruel laughter or angry screams.

My pack cries because I’m hurt.

They love me so deeply that the idea of anyone causing me harm hurts them.

It only makes me break harder because, for the first time in my life, I feel like I’m worthy and valued. I’m not a worthless whore that doesn’t deserve to even breathe the same air as them like Corbin spent so many years trying to convince me I was.

Every piece of me is exhausted, unable to handle any more. So I let sleep take me, knowing I’m safe in the hands of my pack.

Hours later, I blink my eyes open. Looking around, I find my Alphas asleep. But Leroy isn't.

“Hey,” my voice cracks as I roll to my side so we’re face-to-face and give him a sleepy smile.

“Hi, Little Monster,” he murmurs. I sigh and let my eyes flutter closed when he cups my cheek.

“Have you slept at all?”

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