Page 90 of Deadly Sweet

I was robbed of this. Robbed of holding my son, caring for him, and having moments like this with him.

Am I betraying him right now? Is he looking down at me with disappointment?

Swallowing hard, I close my eyes, a tear falling free.

This little girl might not have a mom, but she has four amazing dads who would burn the world down for her.

I would have burned the world down for him.

As my thumb brushes against her soft cheek, my heart hurts even more. I want this, I want to be a mom so bad.

He took that away from me. He took my baby like he meant nothing. And I’ll take his fucking life, because he’s the one who means nothing.

“You will never know pain,” I promise her, my eyes unable to move from her little face. “You will never know how evil this world is. I’ll make sure of it.”

My eyes flick down to where her little hand is open. Tears spill down my cheeks as I bring a shaky hand up and take her tiny hand in mine. And then she does something that shatters my heart and puts it back together. She wraps her fingers around my thumb and squeezes tight, in her own little death grip.

A sob rips free, and I bite the inside of my cheek to keep it together.

I will not break. I will not fall.

But what I do know is that I will burn this world down to protect this little girl.

She might not be mine by blood, but she is by pack.

“Please don’t hate me,” I whisper as I look out the window, the moon in view shining bright. “Mommy would never replace you. Ever. You're forever in my heart.” I look back down at Athena. “But she needs me, too. I know it. I can feel it in my soul.”

“Savvy?” Jake’s voice has my eyes darting over to the door.

He stands there, rubbing at his sleepy eyes. He shouldn’t look so handsome right now, but he does. He’s shirtless, his chest on full display. He’s got a bit of hair, his body lean, and all I want to do is lick him all over.

“Is everything okay?”

“Yeah.” My voice cracks as I force a smile. Using my shoulder, I wipe at my eyes, not wanting to remove my hand from Athena. Not that she would let me, she’s got a death grip on me.

“Are you sure? You’re crying.” Jake sounds more awake now. “Is Athena okay?”

“She’s fine,” I whisper, looking back down at her sleeping face. Her mouth is open, the bottle hanging out of her lips. Laughing, I place the bottle on the side table and carefully get her into a seated position. Once she’s in place, I start to rub up and down her back, working a burp out of her.

“Huh.” Jake chuckles, squatting down in front of us. “You're a natural. How did you know how to do all of this? Have you been around many babies?”

“No.” I shake my head, my eyes still on Athena. “She’s the second baby I’ve ever held. Not sure how I know what I’m doing, really.” I let out a soft laugh. “Instincts, maybe? Aren’t Omegas built to be moms, to care for children?” I say it in a slightly mocking tone, being that I’m in a bit of a sour mood right now. “Some of it I remember from the baby book, one of the nurses snuck me when I was around five months along. Begged her for it. I was so afraid of failing,” I scoff.

“Five months... pregnant?” he asks carefully.

“Yup.” I still don’t look his way.

“You were pregnant?” he asks, his voice low, and I can hear the emotion in it. “Did he take the baby?”

“In a way, yeah,” I whisper, my throat closing up again. Athena burps, and I decide it’s enough. I can feel my control slipping, and I don’t know what I’m capable of doing right now.

Carefully, I hand her over to Jake and stand.

Jake stands with the baby, cradling her in his arms as I walk towards the door. Pausing, I turn back. His face is filled with pain.I feel you buddy, I fucking feel you.

“I’ve been kidnapped for years. I’ve been beaten, raped, and humiliated. I was kept as a glorified dog. And you know what I did? I laughed it off, I picked myself up, and I kept going. Even then, I never cried, never showed them I was weak. Until I couldn’t do it anymore. Everyone has a breaking point, right? How long was I going to let them abuse me, have that power over me? I got to the point where I'd rather be dead than let them take another piece of my soul. When I found out I was pregnant, my baby was the only thing that kept me from taking one of the instruments in the infirmary, plunging it into my neck, and giving up. I had a new reason to live—to fight. I wanted to keep going, for him. I would have taken forty more years of being beaten and raped if it meant I had him at my side. I should have known good things don’t happen to people who are no longer in control of their own lives.”

“What happened?” he asks, his own voice breaking right along side my fucking heart.

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