Page 59 of The Freshman

Alfie’s jaw snapped shut, and hewaited patiently for Nate to speak.

“I’ve let her go, and it’sbetter for her, and for me. I didn’t have anyone, then you camealong.”

“Me?” Alfiewhispered.

“For ten long years I’venot cared for another soul, wouldn’t risk letting down someone Icared about. All until I heard whispers of you from G-wing. Thecute new officer with the puppy dog eyes. The Freshman with the shysmile and the blushing cheeks. The guy who flirts with a murdererand goes above and beyond to save an inmate’s life. The one whodoesn’t even realize what he craves, what he needs to feel good. Istart to think maybe there is something for me on the other side ofthe bars. A life protecting someone, making sure they’re happy andthey come to no harm.”

Alfie breathed out in a rush. Hewanted to speak, but no words came. Protected, happy, they weretraitorous buzz words his heart longed for.

“I want you.”

Alfie gasped at Nate’s words. Theymade his stomach flip and his heart tighten. For his eighteen-yearexistence, those were the words he always wanted to hear, fromanyone. Someone valuing him over someone else, someone picking himfrom the crowd, claiming him, not as a consolation, but as the mainprize. Deny as he might, he just wanted to be wanted.

“I know you’refreaked-out, but I’m freaked out too. I’m the one locked up, and atany moment could lose you. Part of me wants to scare you away. Idon’t want you to waste your life on me, but the other part, themore dominate part, wants to bind you to me forever. Thesefantasies we talk about aren’t fantasies to me. They’re promisesfor when I get out.”

“When do you get out?”Alfie croaked.

“I’ve got a plan,Freshman.”

Alfie widened his eyes in horror.“What?”

“You don’t need toworry—”

“You’re planning anescape?”

Nate didn’t answer at first. He left achasm of a pause that Alfie panted through.

“And if I was, would yourun to the prison and tell them, or would you let meescape?”

“I should reportit.”

Nate hummed. “Should, but you won’t. Iwant you, Freshman, and you want me too.”

The phone cut out and Alfie stared atthe black screen. It reflected his panicked eyes and his openmouth. Nate was planning an escape, had admitted it, and that leftAlfie with a huge dilemma. The ‘us and them’, he didn’t know whoseside he was on.

Chapter Fifteen

Ryan was winding down his droningMonday handover, but before he clapped in a signal of finality, hestilled and wagged a finger. “Almost forgot. I want checks on Natethroughout the night.”

Alfie’s heart galloped beneath hisribs. He didn’t trust himself to speak in case his voice tremored.Ryan knew about Nate’s escape plan, he had to know, but did he knowAlfie knew of it?

“Why’s that?” Henryasked.

Ryan rubbed at his strip of facialhair. “Just a precaution. He got the news that dear old Doris diedthis morning, and he’s been in his cell since. Not eating, notspeaking, just lying on his bed.”

The air left Alfie’s lungs in a rush,and he sagged forward. Any relief he felt was immediately crushedby guilt, then worry.

“You think he might try totop himself?” Marie asked, daring a look to Glen whoshrugged.

Ryan turned and stared out the officewindow. “As I said, it’s a precaution. I don’t know what goesthrough his head.”

Henry wrinkled his nose and pulled anexpression like he tasted something vile. “You wouldn’t want toknow. It can’t be good. I recon he’s faking it, hoping we’ll call acode eleven and open up his cell.”

Alfie shook his head. “He’s just lostsomeone he cares about. It’s grief—”

“Animals like that don’tgrieve. They’re opportunists.”

Ryan squeezed the top of his nose.“Just in case, I want him checked every two hours.”

---