Page 127 of Five for Silver

“They were holes.”

“I got the biggest bits out with some tweezers,cleaned it up.”

Chad grimaced. He moved to the bed, and reached forRomeo, but found his hand pushed away. His thumping heart picked uppace.

“Romeo—”

“They didn’t come upstairs.” Romeo said. “I hidunder the bed just in case, but they didn’t come up.”

“Good,” Chad fidgeted, not sure how to handlethisRomeo. “I was so scared they’d find you.”

“They didn’t.”

Romeo’s shoulders were up. His neck muscles werepulled taut, and he kept flexing his hands into fists. Chad triedto reach for him again, but Romeo shuffled up the bed until heleaned against the bedrest.

“How bad was it?” he asked.

Chad took a deep breath, perched on the edge of thebed, then told Romeo everything. Romeo worked his jaw back andforth as he listened, staring at the ceiling. The lack of eyecontact unnerved Chad to the point he stopped recounting everythingthat had happened at the station and fell silent. He could hear hisheart pounding, and wondered if Romeo heard it, too.

They didn’t speak. The minutes went by impossiblyslowly. Chad found a stray thread from the duvet and wrapped itaround his fingers until it cut his circulation. The tip of hisfinger turned blue.

“I’m sorry.” Romeo said.

Chad startled, and the thread snapped.

“For what?” He frowned. “You don’t need to—”

“I thought I could keep you safe from Vincent. Ithought we could beat him.” He cracked his knuckles. “Christ, Chad,she … she could’ve killed you.”

“You pushed me out the way.”

“Barely. I told you to leave the house, and she waswaiting. I led you straight to her, and him, Vincent, I sent youback to him, too.”

“I’m okay.”

“Well, I’m not.”

Chad glanced at the bandage. “I know.”

Romeo lifted his arm. “I’m not talking about this.They’ve taken the detective from you,” He closed his eyes. “I’vetaken him from you.”

“No. I chose you,” Chad whispered, “I chose us.”

“You shouldn’t have had to choose. You were supposedto have both. I didn’t want to take that away from you.”

“You didn’t,” Chad promised. “Did you know policeofficers have to take an oath? Doesn’t matter the rank or theposition, we all have to take it, the same one, and I remember suchpride when I spoke the words. I meant them. I’d honor those wordsuntil I died. I broke that oath a long time ago.”

He crawled over before straddling Romeo’s legs.Romeo refused to look at him. He kept his hands fisted at his sidewhile he tensed and relaxed his jaw.

“Wanting you was wrong, selfish, and it’s againsteverything the detective stood for, but I told myself it couldwork, I could do both. I could break the law and upkeep it at thesame time. I could be honorable in public but dishonorable inprivate. I could be … two different people, but yesterday, I killedsomeone for us.”

“She had a gun,” Romeo said through gritted teeth.His eyes met Chad’s for a split second before he closed them again.“You had no choice.”

“I did have a choice.The detective, hecould’ve taken the gun from her, restrained her, waited for thepolice to arrive, but she would’ve told everyone about you—aboutus. We’d have lost everything, and maybe that part of me thought itwas just, a fitting end to us, but the other part, the part that isyourscouldn’t accept that. I chose to kill her to protectwhat we have. I didn’t just kill Lucy. I killed that part of me,too.”

“You should never have been in that position,” Romeosnapped.

“But I was, and I regret a lot of what happenedduring these past two weeks, but I don’t regret that choice. I’llnever regret it, no matter how uncomfortable knowing what I didmakes me feel.” He leaned over, and brushed his thumbs over Romeo’scheeks as he cupped his face. “But please, don’t punish me forchoosing you, for choosing us.”

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