Page 131 of Rat

She turned away. They watched her walk back up the beach, then Rory shook his head. He felt heavy and tired down to his bones, and when Sebastian helped him over to the bench, he collapsed down on it. Sebastian sat beside him, rubbing a hand up Rory’s back as he stooped forward.

“You got dragged into mine and Hamish’s feud, one that started decades ago. It should’ve never turned out the way it did.”

“It doesn’t even matter. None of this does, not really.”

“It does matter. Let me help you. I can help you mend bridges with Captain and Ollie. I’ll be a support for you. I’ll take care of you. Let me, Rory.”

“You’re only saying it because you feel guilty, and even after you’ve told me all this, I still feel like I betrayed you. I still feel guilty. I fell for you, and I continued ratting you out to Hamish.”

“I fell for you, and I continued to lie to your face. We’re both as guilty as each other. But I want us to continue being…us.”

Rory stole a glance at Sebastian. His icy eyes shone with unshed tears.

“I thought you were going to kill me today,” Rory whispered.

“Never. Jesus, Rory.” Sebastian shuddered. “That makes me feel sick just thinking about it—”

“I wanted you to do it.”

Sebastian’s breath caught.

Rory raised his head and pressed his palm over his heart. It wasn’t an empty hole. It hurt and ached, but his heart was still there. Sebastian hesitated, then pressed his hand over the top.

“I thought I was going to die.” Rory swallowed. “I’d accepted it because I don’t have anyone to stay alive for.”

“You do, Rory. You have me. If you want me, I’m yours. I want to be yours, and I want you to be mine.”

“Why?”

Sebastian lowered his gaze. “You know why. We…work. We fit. Give me the chance to take care of you, to love you. It’s going to be hard at first, but I promise it will get easier. We’ll take it one day at a time.”

“My sister’s dead,” he blurted.

Sebastian squeezed his eyes shut. He nodded. “She is.”

“She’s dead, Sebastian.”

Rory let Sebastian pull him close and pressed into his embrace. Sebastian shushed him, rubbing warmth up and down Rory’s arms. He paused to take off his jacket and encouragedRory to lean forward so he could tuck it around his back. Sebastian tugged Rory close again and kissed his hair.

“You’re not on your own, I promise you that.”

When Sebastian asked him to drive to Jameson’s farm, Rory gave him a long stare, then programmed the address into the car. They didn’t speak, like they hadn’t for the hour they spent on the beach. Rory had let himself be held and even dozed off at one point to Sebastian’s soft reassurances.

The revelations spun in Rory’s head, gaining momentum until he feared they would destroy him, then he heard Sebastian’s pleading voice asking Rory to let him help him, and it was enough to slow the spinning but not to stop it completely.

The sky grew dark, and the houses fewer, until Rory squinted as he spotted the shabby-looking farmhouse in the distance.

“There it is,” Sebastian said. “Jameson’s farm.”

“I still don’t understand,” Rory murmured. “Why are we here?”

“You’ll know soon enough.”

Rory pulled up alongside the other cars and peered through the windscreen.

He could see a group of people.

“Friends of mine, eager to welcome me back,” Sebastian explained.

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