Page 38 of Butterfly

Green shook his head. “It was his version of a good joke.”

“So it was shit,” Jack added.

Ollie gestured with the letter to his cell. “I’m just going to…”

They all nodded, and Ollie rushed away, pushing into his cell. He closed the door and sat down on Teddy’s bunk.

It was his brother’s writing, but that didn’t mean whatever was inside was good.

He might’ve written to tell Ollie he wanted nothing to do with him.

Ollie closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

There was only one way to know for sure.

He opened the letter, and when he read his brother’s words, he heard his voice in his head.

“Ollie, I’m sorry it has taken me so long to write back. Asher hid your letters from me for months. It was only when a friend of yours, Rory, came here that I learned you’d been writing to me the whole time. Maggie let me have them. She said I could write back. That was over four months ago. I’m sorry. Every time I went to post a letter, I stopped myself. I couldn’t do it. I remember that night…and everything that happened before…and afterwards.”

Ollie scrunched his eyes shut, easing air in and out of his nose.

He reopened them to read more.

“You’re never mad at me in your letters; you just want to know that I’m okay and whether I understand why you did what you did. I do understand. But it’s a lasting image I struggle to get out of my head. No, I don’t hate you. I’ll never hate you. I worry that you hate me, though…”

Ollie shook his head, denying his brother’s words.

“I worry you hate me for what happened afterwards. I was a mess. I didn’t think about what I was saying or how it might affect you. Nine years, Ollie. It should never have been that long, and I can’t help thinking that was my fault. It all happened so fast; I didn’t get the chance to process any of it, but I get it now. You did it for us. You did it to set us free.”

Yes, Ollie thought with a snort, glancing at the bars on the window.

Free.

“I just wish there had been another way. I want to visit you. Maggie has said she’ll take me, but I’m scared that you’re secretly mad at me, or that I’ll only be able to see the you from that night or that I’ll break down with guilt at the sight of you caged up like an animal. I want you to know I’m okay. My new school is much better than my old one. I have friends now, and Maggie’s nice; she treats me like I’m her own son. Don’t worry about me, I’m doing fine. Take care of yourself in there. Love you always. Leo.”

Ollie looked up from the letter and wiped his face. He hadn’t noticed Teddy in the doorway, but he stood on the threshold, asking if it was okay to come inside.

Ollie nodded. “It’s from Leo.”

Teddy’s smile started out bright, but dimmed, then disappeared altogether.

“You can read it if you like,” Ollie whispered, holding out the letter.

Teddy hesitated before taking it and sitting down on the bed beside Ollie. His eyes swept the page, and then he went back again for another read. He tapped his finger beneathAsherthenMaggie.

“Our auntie and uncle.” Ollie bit his lip. “My father’s brother.”

Teddy nodded.

He ran his finger beneath the wordsthat night.

Ollie slumped. “You know what he means by that. You know why I’m here.”

Teddy watched him closely.

Ollie took in a deep breath and completely blanked his mind when he said, “I stabbed my father to death.”

There was more to it, but he shut it down, blocked it out.

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