Page 73 of Butterfly

“I don’t want to get out of here.”

Jarvis didn’t even twitch. “Can I ask you why?”

“There’s nothing for me on the outside.”

“Your brother.”

Ollie squeezed his eyes shut. “Yeah, he’s there, but he’s got his own life. He doesn’t need me. We can still have a relationship even if I’m inside.”

“But who can’t you have a relationship with in here ifyou’reon the outside?”

“Teddy. I’d lose Teddy.”

“Lose him?”

Ollie nodded. “It wouldn’t be the same if I was on the outside. We couldn’t be…intimate.”

His cheeks glowed, and he snuck a look at Jarvis, but he didn’t react.

“We wouldn’t be able to spend as much time together.”

“A high percentage of the prisoners in here have partners on the outside.”

“But he’s in here for life. If I get out, I lose him for good. And it’s not just him. I have friends in here. I’m about to take my GCSEs. I have a life, which is something I didn’t have on the outside. On the outside, it was only an existence.”

“If you did get out, you wouldn’t be returning to that unhappy existence. You might make friends on the outside. You might continue with your studies, maybe even advance them into a career.”

“But why would I do that if I already have everything I want in here?”

“Does Teddy know about the appeal?”

“There is no appeal.”

Jarvis held up his hands in apology. “Does he know about Howard contacting you with regard to an appeal?”

“Yes. I told him I wanted to stay.” Ollie looked down. “At first he seemed relieved, but then…”

“But then?”

“This morning, he said I should appeal.”

“And what were his reasons?”

Ollie shrugged. “I didn’t let him give me them. He thinks I’d be safer on the outside, which isn’t true. It’s not safe out there.”

“Why do you think that?”

“My father.”

“He’s no longer there. That danger is gone.”

“There will be other dangers.”

Jarvis raised an eyebrow. “Prison isn’t free of them either.”

“But I’ve got Teddy. He protects me. I’ve only ever felt safe with him.”

“How did it feel when Teddy told you he wants you to appeal?”

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