Page 27 of Butterfly

Teddy made a pleased sound.

“I just don’t want you to think I’ll be good at something and be left…disappointed.”

Something…

By something, he meant kissing, and handjobs, and blowjobs and sex.

The whole shebang.

He wanted to do that to Teddy, he wanted to be good for Teddy, and he wanted Teddy to think he was good.

He shivered, dazed by the thought.

Teddy pulled him close, settling Ollie’s head against his chest while Ollie started to hyperventilate, mind whirling with anticipation, excitement, and embarrassment. He was already embarrassed, knowing he wouldn’t be any good at first. Teddy’s body jolted and jerked, and it took a moment for Ollie to realise what he was doing.

Teddy yanked his duvet and pillow off his bunk, shoving them behind Ollie’s back on the floor. He eased Ollie down, and Ollie clung to him, pulling Teddy with him.

“Teddy…I’ve…I’ve never…”

Ollie clutched at the air when Teddy pulled himself from his grip. He waited, frowning at the slap of Teddy’s hand on the floor, searching, but it all made sense when Ollie heard the scratch of a match.

The match didn’t light.

“Here,” Ollie murmured. His voice shook. He took the box from Teddy and lit the match on the first try.

Teddy took it off him and held it up to his face. His lips were swollen, bigger than Ollie had ever seen, and his beard looked even darker around them. There was want in his eyes, a palpable hunger, and his chest heaved as he panted.

He flexed his eyebrows in a cue for Ollie to speak like he did in the beginning, when it was yes or no questions. Ollie didn’t quite know what he was supposed to ask.

“I don’t want to disappoint you.”

Teddy shook his head, and his expression, flicking and jumping with shadows, said,Never, never, never.

“I haven’t done this before.” Ollie bit his lip. “I’ve not doneanyof this.”

Teddy’s eyes fluttered shut for a few seconds. They were even more heated when they reopened, like he loved the idea of being all of Ollie’s firsts.

“It scares me…going from nothing to…everything.”

Teddy frowned and shook his head.

“But I am scared. It’s going to hurt. I want to, but you can’t promise me it won’t hurt.”

Teddy’s frown intensified.

“Sex,” Ollie tried to clarify.

Teddy shook his head, flicking his gaze up and down Ollie laid out on the floor.

“We’re not going to have sex?”

Teddy tilted his head to one side, a fond expression on his face.

Ollie smiled. “We are,” he whispered, searching Teddy’s face. “But not tonight?”

Not tonight.

“Oh.” Ollie swallowed. “Well, what are we going to do?”

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