Page 81 of Butterfly

“If you feel sick, use your bag.”

Ollie would’ve rather vomited down himself than ruin one page of what Teddy had given to him.

Seinfeld secured the door.

Ollie rested his head against the blacked-out window, trying his best to keep it together, but his heart was splitting in two.

When he was taken into the courtroom, he noticed his brother first. Leo jumped up from the bench in the gallery, waving frantically at Ollie as Seinfeld walked him inside. Maggie was with him, clutching her handbag. She gave Ollie a comforting smile.

There were a few other people in the public gallery but only one other Ollie recognised.

Rory was sat on the bench behind Leo. He wore his police uniform. His brown hair looked recently cut, and his blue eyes were fixed to the judges.

“Take a seat, Ollie,” Seinfeld muttered.

He dropped down, and Seinfeld undid the cuff securing them together.

Howard strolled over, eyeing Seinfeld with disdain. “That’ll be the last time you cuff my client.”

Ollie absentmindedly stroked his wrist.

There were three judges at the front of the room, all wearing wigs. Two were women, one was a man. Howard had told him the best-case scenario was three women, and the worst case was three men.

The courtroom settled.

When prompted by a judge, Howard began. Ollie only had to speak once to confirm his name, then he stared down at his shoes and zoned out.

He clutched the back of his neck, thinking he could feel Teddy breathing against him from the night before. Teddy had taken his time. Teddy had barely paused for breath while kissing him.

Ollie wouldn’t have that again, the intimacy of Teddy recovering his breath after blowing Ollie’s mind. The intense look in Teddy’s eyes, like Ollie was everything. His strong arms wrapped around Ollie’s sweaty body as he held him close.

But sex was sex. They were more than that. He could go without sex, but he couldn’t go without Teddy.

Howard droned on and on, occasionally being interrupted by one of the judges.

No one asked Ollie any questions.

He heard words like complicated, long term, and mental stability.

Howard put a lot of emphasis on Ollie discovering Leo had been hurt and being terrified of it happening again. He killed their father to protect his little brother.

The wine incident with their uncle Asher was brought up.

He’d not visited Ollie once, but he had written a statement about that night and recalled how terrified Ollie had been at the thought of being separated from his brother.

Seinfeld sat beside him. He knocked his knee into Ollie’s leg.

He didn’t move his lips when he said, “You look on the verge of passing out.”

This case was about him. Everybody in the courtroom was there to see what happened to him, but Ollie felt detached. It was as if he floated above it all, a silent, paralysed observer to the biggest moment of his life.

Ollie raised his eyes when Howard paused his constant stream of noise. He’d stopped to sip his cup of water, and when he put it down, there was a slight smile on his lips.

It was going well.

Ollie’s heart began to pound. He reached up to undo the top button on his shirt, fingers clawing at his throat. Seinfeld took pity on him and patted Ollie’s hand aside to undo it for him.

Ollie would’ve thanked him, but his mouth had gone dry. His sandpaper tongue stuck to the inside of his cheek.

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