"I don't know, guys," he hedged. "Isn't this kind of mean? Stooping to their level and all that? I’ve gone down that path with Kristen before. It always ends with a sore bottom for me."
I could see him wavering. The hurt of Kristen and Becca's betrayal was still fresh. And in the end, his desire to see them face consequences won out over his better angels.
And so,Operation Paybackwas a go. All that was left was to wait for an opportune moment, when the Daddies were distracted and our targets let their guard down.
Luckily, we didn't have to wait long. The grownups spent most of the evening in the kitchen, preparing a lavishChristmas Eve feast. An endeavor which, judging by the sounds of clattering pans and good-natured bickering, required their full attention.
Even Kristen and Becca were roped into helping, though not without a hefty dose of theatrical sighing and eyerolling. I couldn't imagine they were much use, prancing around in their coordinated aprons with their noses in the air. But their presence was a necessary evil. The perfect alibi, keeping them front and center while the real mischief occurred behind the scenes.
And occur it did. The second the coast was clear, we sprang into action.
"Okay, boys," Alex whispered, huddling us together in a conspiratorial circle. "Here's how it's gonna go down. Clark, you're on stink bomb duty. Slip into their bathroom and plant this little beauty under the sink."
I nodded, palming the device with a grim smile. "Roger that. And the shampoo switcheroo?"
Alex's grin widened, bordering on manic glee. "Leave that to me. I've got a special cocktail all mixed up, just waiting for an unsuspecting victim."
Elijah bit his lip, clearly hesitant to get his hands dirty. "What about me? What's my job in all this?"
Alex clapped him on the shoulder, giving a reassuring squeeze. "Distraction and diversion. I need you to keep the girls occupied while we work. Get 'em talking about themselves. Shouldn't be too hard, given their egos are visible from space."
Chapter 28: Clark
The plan started off smoothly enough. I managed to slip into the girls' room undetected, planting the stink bomb and swapping out the shampoo without a hitch. Elijah ran interference like a champ,accidentallyspilling flour down Becca's front and fawning over Kristen's hair until they forgot their own names.
All was going according to plan. Until I froze, one foot out the door. Turned slowly, incredulously, to see Alex army-crawling down the hall. A look of intense concentration on his face as he hummed the Mission Impossible theme at full volume.
"Alex!" I hissed, glaring daggers at his form. "Shut up! Are you trying to get us caught?"
He just grinned, wholly unrepentant. Picked up the tune again, even louder, as he ducked and rolled into the room.
I could only shake my head. Follow my ridiculous, lovable idiot of a best friend into the room, and pray his dramatics hadn't tipped our hand irrevocably.
Luckily, we managed to regroup without incident. Once Alex got the giggles out of his system and received a few well-placed elbows to the ribs, we were back on track.
With a few carefully placed comments and strategic spills, the trap was set. Elijah's innocent "Gee, Kristen, is it just me or does your hair smell kinda funky today?" Alex's elbow, Becca's pristine white blouse, a glass ofaccidentallydribbled cranberry juice.
We didn't have to wait long. Within minutes, Kristen was stomping off to the bathroom, face pinched with disgust as shemuttered about updating her wardrobe with friends who had better motor control.
I caught Alex's eye over Elijah's head, a thrill zipping down my spine. This was it. The calm before the storm, the held breath before the final devastating blow.
And sure enough, not two minutes later, an unholy shriek rent the air. High and piercing, shot through with sheer, unadulterated horror.
I bit down hard on the inside of my cheek, fighting to keep a straight face. Beside me, Alex was practically vibrating, lips pressed bloodless with the effort of holding back his mirth. Even Elijah looked to be fighting a smile, eyes wide and sparkling with mischief.
And then Kristen came barreling into the room, a towel clutched around her shoulders. Pale face standing out in stark contrast to the shocking blue of her dripping hair. The dye had taken brilliantly to her bleached locks, leaving them a vivid, electric shade of turquoise. It dripped in rivulets down her neck, staining her skin and towel alike.
Beside her, Becca gasped. Hands flying to her mouth, eyes bulging in their sockets. Then, into that yawning silence, a single sound rang out. High and reedy, quickly muffled against a shaking palm.
A giggle. And just like that, the floodgates opened. Alex lost it first, howling with unrestrained glee. Elijah was next, collapsing against me as he wheezed and hiccupped. I held out longest, shoulders quaking with the effort to hold it in.
But when Kristen spun to face us, I cracked. Folded like a house of cards, hanging off Alex as peals of laughter ripped from my throat.
This was just too good. I wouldn't have traded it for anything in the world. Let her see how it felt, to be made a fool in front of everyone.
But alas, our gloating proved to be a tactical error. Because in the next instant, a noxious cloud of stench rolled over us like a putrid fog bank. The stink bomb!
Coughing and hacking, eyes streaming, we stumbled back from the blast radius. Waved our hands in front of our faces, trying in vain to dispel the stink. Sweet baby Jesus. What ungodly alchemy had Alex wrought in that rotten egg scented hellbroth!