Page 71 of Saving the Rockstar

His voice broke on the last word, and it was like a bucket of ice water dumped over my head, shocking me out of my spiral of anxiety and doubt. The raw pain in his eyes, the hurt etched into every line of his face cut me to the core.

"Jared, I..." I swallowed hard, shame and regret rising like bile in my throat. "I'm sorry. I don't really believe that. I know you love me. I'm just so scared."

My voice wavered, tears blurring my vision. "I'm terrified that this is all too good to be true, that I don't deserve you, that you'll realize I'm not worth the trouble and you'll leave. And reading those horrible things, seeing our love twisted and tarnished like that, it just hit all my worst insecurities, all my deepest fears."

Jared's expression softened, the anger draining from his face. He closed the distance between us, pulling me into his arms and holding me tightly against his chest.

"Baby, no," he murmured into my hair. "I'm not going anywhere. I love you, I choose you, every day, no matter what. No stupid article, no outside opinion, can change that."

He pulled back just far enough to cup my face in his hands, his thumbs brushing away the tears that had escaped down my cheeks. "I know your anxiety lies to you, I know your past makes it hard for you to trust. But I need you to hear me, to believe me when I say that my love for you is the realest, truest thing in my life. You are my heart, Asher. My home, my forever. And I will spend every day proving that to you, if that's what it takes."

A sob hitched in my throat, the knot of fear and pain in my chest loosening at his words. I pressed my forehead to his, my hands fisting in his shirt. "I'm sorry," I whispered again, meaning it with every fiber of my being. "I know your love is real. I feel it every day, in every look, every touch, every word. Forgive me?"

Jared's answer was a searing kiss, his mouth slanting over mine with desperation.

I woke slowly. For a moment, I was disoriented, unsure of my surroundings. Then the familiar scent of my bedroom, the soft warmth of my sheets, registered, and I remembered. I was home, in my apartment.

I lay there for a moment, listening to the muffled sounds of conversation drifting in from the living room. Dylan and Jared, from the cadence of their voices. I couldn't quite make out the words, but the tone gave me pause. Dylan's usual playfullilt was missing, replaced by a gravity, a seriousness that seemed out of character.

Curiosity got the better of me. I slipped out of bed, padding softly to the bedroom door, which stood slightly ajar. Pressing myself against the wall, I strained to hear.

"...just don't want to see him get hurt again," Dylan was saying, his voice tight with worry. "He's been through so much already, Jared. I need to know that you're in this for the right reasons."

There was a beat of silence, heavy with tension. Then Jared spoke, his tone measured but firm. "I know the things that have been said about me... it doesn't paint a pretty picture. But I need you to believe, that my feelings for Asher are genuine. He's not a stepping stone, not a means to an end. He'severythingto me."

I held my breath. Hearing Jared defend our love, defend his intentions, to my best friend - it meant a lot.

Dylan sighed, and I could picture him running a hand through his artfully tousled hair. "I want to believe you, Jared. I do. It's just... Ash is like a brother to me. I've seen him at his lowest when he was with Carter. I've watched him claw his way back from the brink. I can't stand the thought of him being used, being hurt like that again."

"I know." Jared's voice was soft, almost reverent. "Believe me, I know. I see it every day, the strength in him, the resilience. I count myself lucky beyond measure that he's chosen me, that he's let me into his heart."

There was another pause. When Dylan spoke again, his tone was gentler, more conciliatory. "Asher really loves you, you know. I've never seen him light up the way he does when you're around. I remember how happy he was before Carter came intohis life. But that monster changed him. Asher never really got back to his jovial self when things with Carter ended. But now that you’re in his life, it's like you've brought a part of him back to life, a part I thought might be gone forever."

I felt tears prick at the corners of my eyes, my throat tightening with a swell of emotion. To hear Dylan, my rock, my fiercest protector, acknowledge the depth of my feelings for Jared, the positive impact he'd had on my life, it was a validation I hadn't known I needed.

"I love him, too," Jared said, his voice raw with sincerity. "And I promise you, Dylan, I will spend every day striving to be worthy of that love, of the trust he's placed in me."

I heard Dylan exhale, long and slow. "Okay," he said, and I could hear the smile in his voice. "I believe you. And for what it's worth, I'm glad he has you. You're good for him, in ways I don't think even he fully realizes yet."

Their voices dropped, the conversation turning to lighter topics, but I barely registered the words. I crept back to the bed, not wanting to alert them to my eavesdropping.

The night before the press conference found me pacing the floor of my apartment, my breath coming in short, painful gasps. The walls felt like they were closing in, the air too thick to pull into my lungs.

Jared watched me from the couch, his brow furrowed with concern. "Ash, baby, come here," he pleaded, patting the seat beside him. "Talk to me. Let me help."

I shook my head, my fingers clawing at my scalp as I tried to quiet the screaming in my head.

Jared rose, approaching me slowly, his hands held out in supplication. "Maybe we should postpone the conference," he suggested gently. "It's taking such a toll on you. Your well-being is what matters most."

Something in me snapped, the suggestion of retreat, of hiding, raking across my raw nerves like nails on a chalkboard. I whirled on him, my eyes wild, my voice high and tight.

"Postpone? Are you kidding me? Do you have any idea what that would look like, Jared? The whispers, the speculation... it would be a fucking nightmare."

Jared recoiled as if I'd slapped him, hurt and confusion etched into the lines of his face. "Hey, I just want to protect you."

I laughed, a harsh, brittle sound that scraped my throat raw. "Protect me? You can't even begin to understand the pressure I'm under, the weight of expectations crushing me from all sides. You have no idea what it's like, to have your every move, your every breath, dissected and analyzed by millions of people who think they own a piece of you."

The words tasted like poison, like ashes on my tongue. Even as they left my mouth, I knew they were wrong, unfair. But I couldn't seem to stop, the pain and panic spilling out of me in a vicious torrent. I saw the impact of each barb, each bitter accusation, in the flinch of Jared's shoulders, the tightening of his jaw. But still, the words kept coming.

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