Page 19 of Saving the Rockstar

The words hit me like a punch, robbing me of what little breath I'd managed to drag into my aching lungs. I wanted to believe him. But I'd heard pretty words before, let myself be lulled by soft promises and softer hands.

And where had that gotten me? Shaking and small, crumpled on the floor of my dressing room while the vultures circled, ready to pick the meat from my bones.

"You can't promise that," I whispered, and hated the way my voice cracked on the last word. Hated the naked pleading in it, the desperate urge to burrow into his broad chest and let him shield me from the world. "No one can."

"Watch me," he said, simply. Like it was just that easy, that uncomplicated. "I'm not going anywhere, Ash. I've got you, for as long as you'll let me."

There was a fierce tenderness in the words, a bone-deep certainty that reached right into the ravaged core of me and took root.

"You wanna talk about it?"

I was quiet for a long moment, letting myself sink into the grounding weight of Jared's body so close to mine. "We were together when I was first starting out. He produced a couple of my early tracks."

I felt Jared tense slightly. "I take it things didn't end well?"

"Understatement of the century." I pulled back to look him in the eye, needing him to understand. "He was awful to me.Controlling, manipulative. Always tearing me down, making me feel like I was nothing without him."

Jared's throat worked as he swallowed. I could see the fury building behind his eyes, the urge to track down Carter and make him pay for every cruel word, every bruising grip.

"I got out, eventually. But seeing him today..." I shook my head. "It brought it all back. Like I was that scared kid again, desperate for his approval."

Without a word, Jared gathered me back into his arms, folding me into his warmth and strength. I melted into him, breathing in the clean, spicy scent of his cologne, letting it ground me in the present.

"You're not that kid anymore, Ash," he murmured into my hair. "You're so much stronger than he ever gave you credit for. Look at everything you've accomplished, everything you've overcome. He can't touch you now. You're safe. I've got you."

Slowly, reluctantly, I pulled back from his embrace, swiping at my damp cheeks. "I'm sorry," I said, my voice ragged. "You shouldn't have to deal with my bullshit."

Jared's brow furrowed. "Hey, you have nothing to apologize for." His hand cupped my jaw, tilting my face up to meet his gaze. "I'm here for you, Ash."

I swallowed hard, looking away. "You don't know what you're signing up for. I'm a fucking mess."

"Then talk to me. Help me understand."

The words came haltingly at first, each one feeling like broken glass in my throat. But once I started, it was like a dam breaking, the whole sordid story spilling out of me in a rush.

I told Jared about those early days with Carter, how his attention had felt like a drug, like the validation I'd alwayscraved. How he'd promised to make me a star, to help me share my music with the world.

But the price of that promise had been steep. Demands for perfection, for unquestioning obedience. Barbed words that chipped away at my self-worth, insidious as poison. The slow, inexorable tightening of his control, until I barely recognized myself anymore.

"He made me feel like I was nothing without him," I said hollowly, staring at my hands twisting in my lap. "Like I owed him everything, even myself."

Beside me, Jared went very still. "Did he ever force you to do anything you didn't want to?" His voice was careful, but I could hear the undercurrent of barely leashed violence thrumming beneath.

I shook my head quickly. "No, it wasn't like that. He just knew exactly how to manipulate me. How to make me doubt myself, until I thought I needed him. Until leaving seemed impossible."

Jared blew out a slow breath. "Jesus, Ash. I'm so sorry you went through that. You didn't deserve any of it."

Tears stung my eyes again. I blinked them back furiously, hating how weak I felt. "Logically, I know that. But some part of me still feels like maybe I did something to make him treat me that way. Like it was my fault somehow."

"Hey, look at me." Jared's fingers caught my chin, gentle as he turned my face to his. "Nothing you did or said justified him hurting you like that. He was the one with the power in that situation. He's the one who abused it. Not you."

The conviction in his voice, the fierce protectiveness, settled something deep in my chest. I let out a shuddering breath, letting myself believe him. Just for a moment.

Chapter 7: Asher

Jared and I retired to the luxurious hotel suite the label had sprung for. The hotel room was a welcome oasis of calm after the frenzied energy of the concert, all muted tones and plush furnishings that practically begged to be sunk into. I shouldered through the door with a groan, my guitar case banging against my hip as I fumbled for the light switch.

I deposited my guitar by the door and made a beeline for the bed closest to the window. The mattress gave a decadent little bounce as I flopped onto it face-first, the sheets cool against my cheek.

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