Page 37 of Saving the Rockstar

I tried to brush him off, to paste on a smile. "Nothing. Just tired, you know? Tour life, it's a grind."

Jared's frown deepened. "Bullshit. This is more than exhaustion. You're not yourself. Haven't been for days."

I felt my facade cracking, the brittle mask of nonchalance splintering. "Jared, please. Just drop it."

"I can't." He caught my arm, gentling me with a touch. Met my gaze head on, unwavering. "I'm worried about you. We all are. Please, just let me help."

And god, I wanted to. I wanted to spill my guts, to purge the poison coursing through me. But the words stuck in my throat. How could I make him understand? How could I explain the depths of my brokenness, the scars that would never fully heal?

Jared, though, didn't push. He just waited. Patient, steady. A port in the storm of my roiling emotions. And somehow, that broke me. That quiet acceptance, that undemanding support.

The words came then. Halting at first, then spilling out of me in a rush. A torrent of pain and fear, of secrets long buried.

I told him about Carter. About the way he'd swooped into my life when I was young and hungry and so goddamn naive. The way he'd promised me the world, promised to make all my dreams come true.

And at first. it had been everything I'd ever wanted. The music, the acclaim. Carter's approval, his praise.

But then, things changed. The praise turned barbed, the approval conditional. Carter became demanding, exacting. Nothing was ever good enough. I was never good enough.

He'd keep me in the studio for hours, days. Forcing me to practice until my fingers bled, my voice gave out. All while berating me, tearing me down.

“You're nothing without me”,he'd snarl. “Just a skinny little boy with a halfway decent voice. I'm the only one who sees your potential, the only one who can make you great. And if you can't cut it, I'll find someone who can.”

I'd believed him. Of course I had. I was young, desperate to make it. Desperate for someone,anyone, to tell me I was worth something.

And Carter had known that. Exploited it. He tied my worth to my talent, my obedience. Stripped me down to parts and rebuilt me in his image. The perfect little puppet, dancing on his strings.

It went on for months. The manipulation, the degradation. I'd pushed everyone away, isolated myself. Convinced I needed Carter, that I was nothing without him.

But Dylan hadn't given up on me. He'd seen what was happening, seen me drowning. And he'd thrown me a lifeline.

I remember the day it all came to a head. The day Dylan confronted Carter, threatened to go public with everything he'd seen, everything he knew.

And Carter had laughed. Cold and cruel, uncaring.

“You think anyone would believe you?”he'd sneered. “Asher's mine. Body, mind and soul. And there's not a damn thing you can do about it.”

But he'd underestimated Dylan's resolve. His loyalty. His love for me.

Dylan had taken me away that day. Bundled me up and spirited me off to some remote cabin in the woods, far from Carter's clutches.

And there, he'd saved my life. With his patience, his unwavering support. His refusal to let me drown in my own self-loathing.

I remember one night, curled up on the ratty couch, my head in Dylan's lap as he stroked my hair. I'd been crying, harsh and ugly. Convinced I was broken, damaged beyond repair.

“I don't know who I am without him”, I'd choked out.“Without the music. It's all I've ever had.”

And Dylan had just held me tighter. Pressed a fierce kiss to my temple.

“Listen to me, Asher”, he had said, his voice rough with emotion.“You are so much more than your music. So much more than what that bastard tried to make you. You're kind. You're brave. You've got a heart as big as the fucking sun, and a soul that shines brighter than any star. Carter tried to break you. Tried to twist you into something small and obedient, something he could control. But he failed.

“Because Ash, you're unbreakable. You're a goddamn supernova, and no one can dim your light. You're going to rise from these ashes. You're going to prove him wrong, prove to the world that Asher fucking Roth is a force to be reckoned with. And I'll be right there beside you, every step of the way. Cheering you on, picking you up when you stumble.

“Because that's what family does. That's what love is. You're my brother, Ash. In every way that matters. And Iwill never, ever let you forget how incredible you are. Carter doesn't get to win this. He doesn't get to define you, to put limits on what you can be.

“Only you can do that. And I know, with every fiber of my being, that you are capable of amazing things. So cry, and rage. Feel every fucking feeling, as hard and as long as you need to. And then, you're going to pick yourself up. Dust yourself off. And show the world exactly what you're made of. Because you're made of stardust and steel. And nothing, no one, can take that away from you.”

I'd cried then. Great, heaving sobs that felt like they were tearing me apart. But for the first time, they were tears of relief. Of healing.

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