Page 51 of Just A Little Magic

“No, I left things unsaid when I should have put them out there. But I can’t start this off with the same mistake, so we’ll talk. Will your boss let you take a long lunch tomorrow?”

Bear was speaking to me but stroking Elizabeth, who ate up all his attention. Such an attention whore. We could be each other’s familiar.

“I don’t know, but I’ll ask in the morning.” My face was still buried in his chest, so he couldn’t see my smile, but maybe he felt it because I got another squeeze from him. “My boss is pretty decent, so there’s a good chance.”

“Hey, babe, it’ll be fine. We’ll get ourselves sorted out.” He tilted my chin after he’d made his declaration, and I could see the quiet confidence in his eyes. “I need both of us to be all in for a month, but we can have that discussion tomorrow. Tonight’s been a lot for both of us.”

His words triggered an enormous yawn in me, and Bear chuckled softly. “Yeah, someone is ready to turn in for the night.”

Suddenly, I was overcome with exhaustion, but a thought burst to the forefront of my mind. If I had a month with him, I wanted to pack in all the memories I could. The first of them would be the experience of being tucked in. In all the years I’d known I was little, I’d never had anyone tuck me in deliberately. The lodge didn’t count because that was out of necessity. He sounded so confident tonight about what could be between us that I felt braver than usual.

“Bear?”

“Yeah, babe?”

“Ummm, do you think…I mean, if you want…no pressure or anything…” My voice sputtered to a halt. So much for my moment of bravado. “Never mind. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

I might as well have tried to move a mountain when I attempted to escape his embrace. He kept me anchored firmly to him.

“Nope. Say what you wanted to say, babe.”

I closed my eyes so I wouldn’t see if he scowled, scoffed, or rolled his eyes. I found my courage again and asked, “Would you tuck me in?” And then I waited.

“I’d love to tuck you in.”

Without another word, Bear took my hand in his and tugged me toward the bedroom. Elizabeth followed behind with a steady stream of squeaks, meows, and purrs. She immediately jumped up the path I’d created to allow her to get on my bed without help and snuggled into one of the stuffed animals I kept there. She’d chosen a chestnut-colored teddy bear, which was one of my favorites. Bear indicated for me to sit on the side of the bed and plucked at the stray hair of the wool throw that lay across the foot.

“Where do you keep your pajamas?”

I motioned to a chest on the far wall. Bear went through drawers and bypassed the regular sleep pants. He found my footed onesies in the bottom drawer and pulled out a pair decorated with reading worms and apples.

“Do you wear underwear or something else?” Instead of answering, I bit my lip. “You can be honest with me. There’s no right or wrong answer.”

“I usually wear cloth diapers at night if I’m sure I won’t use them.” I tried to look anywhere but directly at him. “They are in the same drawer as my PJs.”

Bear nodded and rummaged around until he found some pull-up-style diapers with elastic along the openings. Hegathered his supplies and headed back in my direction. He stopped in front of where I was perched on the bed.

“Are these okay?”

The best I could manage was a feeble nod.

Bear ran his hand over my hair and cupped my cheek. “Thank you for being brave.”

Talking was becoming more difficult as I felt myself sinking further into my little headspace with his ministrations, but I fought hard to stay big.

“Hold on, and I’ll get the water started.”

Again, I only nodded.

From my vantage point, I could see him bustling around the bathroom, ensuring he had a proper towel for me and the temperature was warm enough. He knew me well enough to know I liked the water only a few degrees short of scalding. He used to laugh at me back in college when he’d come into the common area of the floor bathroom and the steam would billow out from behind the curtain. It hadn’t sunk in yet that this was really happening.

“Hey, buddy, the water’s ready for you,” Bear said, walking back into my bedroom from the bathroom.

He reached out a hand to lace our fingers together and tugged me gently back into the bathroom. He knew I always preferred baths, and he’d remembered tonight. The tub was brimming with bubbles from the bubble bath and jets. “Do you want to get undressed on your own or have some help?”

“Hep peas,” I asked. The pull into the little space was strong, but I continued to fight it.

“Thank you for letting me, baby.” I reached up to unbutton my shirt, and Bear brushed my hands away. “Hey now, that’s my job.”