Page 23 of Wrecked for the Holidays

Another check mark on my life list—Papa had brought me to a sex shop.

“Papa,” I whispered, “I’ve never been to a…a…sex place before. It was on my list.”

“Good. I’m glad we get to check one more thing off it.” He paused and ran his finger down the slope of my nose before returning to boop it. “Was that the life list or the Christmas list?” he asked with a wink and laugh. You’d never convince me that anyone was sexier than my Papa.

“The life list, silly. How would I know what to put on my Christmas list from one if I’ve never been.” I giggled.

Oh my goodness, when did I start to giggle so much? Was it strange to like the sound of your own giggle? That train of thought was derailed when Papa ushered me through the entrance, and I had my first look around. I came to an abrupt stop while I looked at everything all at once. The decorations were tasteful and cheeky, even if I didn’t know what most of them were for. Once I stopped gawking at the entrance, we wound our way through the displays.

“Gentlemen, welcome. May I help you find anything in particular?” the salesman asked in a smooth, practiced delivery.

“Oh, thank you. We are looking for all things little today,” Papa said with a grin and a squeeze of my hand. If I were a kitty, I would have purred. The tiniest bit of a butt wiggle escaped me. I tried hard to contain it, but the urge was too strong.

“Excellent.Pièce aux Épicestakes pride in our selection of little items. We have some clothing samples out here, but if you don’t see your size, there’s a good chance we have it stocked in the back,” he said as he turned away. After only a few steps, he stopped abruptly and turned back to us before adding, “And happy dances are encouraged here.”

In that case, there was no reason to hide my excitement, so I wiggled to my heart’s content. Papa just smiled and laughed at my silliness. This happiness and lightness was the feeling I knew being a little could bring me. I knew what I was even though I hadn’t gotten to experience much little space. The teeny-tiny sample of it that Papa had provided only made me hungry for more.

The salesperson in his fancy dark suit and tie led us through a maze of displays to a private corner of the store. Like the rest of the store, the playroom was set up to celebrate the holiday. There was a sixties-mod Christmas tree in the corner, along with storage cubes, a bookshelf, and a closed closet. With a flourish, the salesperson opened a wardrobe and said, “In here, you’ll find diapering materials, and again, if needed, we can look for different sizing.” He gave a quick tour of the remaining sections available before excusing himself with a promise to return to check on us.

“Love, did you want to start somewhere in particular?”

I was overwhelmed by the options presented and struggled to understand where to begin. Instead of answering, I just looked around and waved my hands uselessly in the general direction of everything. Everywhere I looked was something new that I hadn’t done, so where to start was like sifting sand on the beach.

“Yeah, maybe that’s too much.” Papa surveyed the area but didn’t give a definitive nod to any particular spot. “Here’s what we’ll do. You close your eyes, and I’m gonna spin you. Wherever you point when you stop is where we’ll start.”

“You’re a clever one, Papa.” His only response was a snort, but I saw his chest puff up a bit, so I knew he liked hearing me compliment him.

“Close your eyes.”

I did as instructed, and Papa spun me twice and then told me to point. I did, and when I opened my eyes, my finger indicated the pacifiers. “That’s where westart.” Once we’d broken it into chunks, it became more fun than overwhelming.

He said not to worry about money because he was covering the trip, but spending other people’s money felt strange. I picked one pacifier, and he added two more to the pile, along with some cute clips. When I found a puppy sippy cup, he added the matching plate, bowl, and silverware, plus a few more sets in different patterns. The bottles weren’t super interesting to me, so I passed.

“What about diapers?”

There was no judgment in Papa’s question. It was only that calm, matter-of-fact tone I knew he used as a doctor, but I felt it so much more when he used it to discuss Daddy and little things. It made it all the easier not to judge myself, even though our interests were well-matched. It was beyond me how he managed to do it, but I was grateful. I’d never slipped fully into little space. I always kept a tiny piece of myself in check, but every moment brought me closer and closer to letting go of that final piece.

“I want to try them, but I’m not sure when. Is that okay?”

I reached to take one off the stack Papa held in his hands. They were Christmas-themed with wreaths and candy canes, but I liked best that they were my favorite shade of pink—my favorite color in the world because it was the color of happiness. The puffiness was soft and plush and the fabric was silky smooth. I kept running my hand over the smoothness. The cool fabric was a sharp contrast to the heat I felt flare in my cheeks. When I worked up my courage, I looked over at Papa. He gave me an indulgent smile before leaning over to kiss my nose.

“That’s a great choice, baby. We can get one or two, so we’ll have some around when you decide to try them. If you like them, we can get more later.” The brief kiss he gave me wasn’t near enough, but it would have to do for now.

Chapter 12

Reed

“All right, we have pacifiers, dishes, diapers, training pants…” With wide eyes, Jakob looked at the piles around us and winced a few times when he saw the price tags. “Stop that right now. I’ve been saving up for when I found a little to spoil. Even if you don’t love everything, it will be good to have options for when you have little friends. We can take the things that don’t end up working to the club for other littles to enjoy. Don’t look at the price tags.”

“This doesn’t feel fair.” When he rolled his eyes, I quirked my eyebrow, and he backed down quickly. “But I do want to know more about this club later.”

“It is fair. You’ve got an insurance deductible in your future, and I want to do this.”

I knew Jakob wasn’t hard up for money, but that was beside the point. Sure, it was more my ego than anything, but I wanted to be the one who provided for my boy. I suspected there had been next to none when it came to frivolous just-because gifts in his life. Hell, if celebrating Christmas was a waste of time, maybe he hadn’t ever gotten gifts.

“Did your family do gifts for Christmas and birthdays?” I asked nonchalantly.

“Sort of.”

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