Page 65 of Every Heartbeat After

“No. And I probably won’t until he needs money again. But that’s nothing new.” Kit’s hand trails down my spine and settles at the curve of my ass, which he pats lightly. “Do I have time for a run?”

I pretend to consider it for a moment but quickly nod. “Absolutely. Wouldn’t want to have to report back to Tomas that you’re slacking on your vacation.”

“Mm, don’t worry. He’s already scheduled a sparring match for the day I get back to assess me for any weaknesses.” Kit pokes my side, causing me to roll off him in an effort to escape the sensation. “Imagine his surprise when he finds a you-sized hole in my defenses.”

“Boooooooo!”

The corner of his mouth ticks upward. “I’ll win you over eventually.”

My heart seizes. I can only pray my next words come out sounding casual. “Perhaps. But it won’t be owed to your incredible pickup lines, I can tell you that much.”

He mock-pouts as he shifts my weight fully off his body and sits up in bed. “You’re mean in the morning, you know that?”

“What can I say? I hardly slept last night. I’ll be nicer once I’ve had my coffee.”

“Is that a request?

I shrug. “It certainly can be.”

“Deal.” After a quick kiss, he rises to his feet and pads over to the blonde-wood dresser, where he rifles through the drawers, removing articles of clothing that he dons one by one until he’s fully dressed for a run and I’m just the naked woman in his bed. When he returns from brushing his teeth, his gaze moves slowly over my every curve, and he grins. “Is it too much to hope that you’ll be waiting for me exactly like that when I return?”

I toss a pillow his way, which he easily dodges with a laugh. Never mind that his blatant desire has me heating up from head to toe. “Not a chance, lover boy. I’m going to go shower in my room. I’ll see you in a bit?”

He sighs dramatically, then deposits an earbud in each ear and leans forward to steal a final kiss. “No running this time, okay?”

I’m tempted to turn the mood back toward humor with a quick remark about his intended jog, but there’s a layer of earnest pleading in his tone that stops me in my tracks. He needs reassurance. I know that feeling better than anyone. So who am I to deny him this?

“I’ll be here.” I tip my head toward my room across the hall. “Well, there, but you know what I mean.” I bite my lip, noting the way his gaze darkens when it lands there. “I’m not going anywhere.”Not yet, anyway,I think, though I can’t bring myself to say it aloud and risk hurting him. We both know the ugly truth. No need to discuss it any sooner than required.

He nods and, without another word, heads for the door, leaving me to wonder how on earth I’ll move on when this vacation is over. Or worse, if I even want to.

* * *

“Why, it wouldn’t be my favorite niece interrupting her wild vacation to phone her frumpy uncle, now would it?”

“I’m your only niece,” I gripe into the receiver.

Gary chuckles dryly through the line. “Semantics. How are you? How’s Kit? Keeping his hands to himself?” After a seconds-too-long pause, he adds, “Never mind! I don’t want to know!”

I giggle around a sip of water, swallow, and set the bottle down on my balcony table, next to the coffee cup from my first morning with Kit that I’ve yet to dispose of. It makes me smile even more than I was already. I miss him, and he hasn’t even been gone for thirty minutes.

“I do want to know how you’re doing, for clarity. Just not…the other stuff.”

“Got it.” I laugh again, and it feels good. Like a tight muscle finally being stretched. “I’m doing well. Only a handful of days left in this trip and it’s a bit bittersweet, but I’m trying not to think about it too much right now.”

Gary clicks his tongue. Dishes clang in the background like he’s loading the washer as we speak. “Well, there’s always next year to look forward to. Maybe I could join you then, see the place that meant so much to my sister.”

I bite my lip, reasoning with myself that he isn’t intentionally guilt-tripping me. How could he, when he doesn’t even know that I’ve been considering stopping these trips? Suddenly the idea of telling him fills me with dread. Though I have no clue if it’s from a lack of conviction or simply the fear of letting my uncle down.

He tuts again, growing silent—and I imagine, still—on his end. “Something you wanna talk about, Tess?”

His ability to be observant even through a phone call is unnerving, to say the least.

“I don’t know,” I say honestly. Sucking in a much-needed breath of fresh air, I squeeze my eyes shut, cutting off the familiar image of the blue-green waves lapping at the shore. “You remember how I quit my job?”

He hums his acknowledgment. I know he was confused when I first broke the news right before this trip, asking me what was wrong with Harvey’s and what I planned to do instead. Imagine his surprise when I admitted I had no reasons and, frankly, no clue about next steps. But Gary, being the way that he is, recognized an untouchable topic even from miles away. So instead of prying, he pivoted to floating the option of me moving to Loveless. Even offered up his couch.

I said no, of course. Mostly because I didn’t know then what I still don’t know now: what I want my future to look like. All I can fathom is that I want one at all—and, I now realize, that I don’t want to spend it alone.

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