Page 18 of Every Heartbeat After

“You say that,” I tease. In reality, I can’t imagine better people to emulate.

Silence settles between us. He’s studying me, perhaps smiling, though it’s hard to tell with the beard. It doesn’t feel uncomfortable. There’s no need to fill it like there is with everyone else. I’d forgotten how nice it is, to just sit in the acceptance of family. Not something everyone gets from their bloodline, but I had it in spades.

How many mornings did I sit with my mom before school, her sipping coffee while I picked at a frozen waffle and pondered my plans for the day? Something I took for granted, thinking I’d have a lifetime of mindless mornings to spend with her. Turns out lifetimes aren’t always the lengthy measurement you think they are.

“What are you thinking about, Tess?”

I bite at my bottom lip, gaze lifting from the scratched wooden tabletop to meet his gray eyes. “It’s going to bring the mood down.”

He chuckles dryly. “Try me.”

He’s right, I suppose. If I can’t be honest here, where else can I be? Aside from Kit’s car, apparently. “I’m wondering why my parents had to die. They were so good, you know? Just genuinely wonderful people. They deserved better.”

He nods like he understands completely. And perhaps he does. He lost his wife, Wendy, far too soon. Cancer, I think. We don’t talk about the details of their deaths often. Only the holes they created in our lives.

Age spots riddle his hand. It settles over mine, taking up a soothing pat on my knuckles. “If I’ve learned anything, it’s that the universe doesn’t give a damn what we deserve. If you want better, you have to take it for yourself.Today.Because that’s all the time you can be sure you’ve got.”

I press my lips into a firm line. For a moment I can sense Kit’s hands heating my lower back. His mouth slanted over mine. Then it disappears, replaced by the forlorn resolution in his gaze when I froze on the spot. “I’m afraid I haven’t been doing that very well lately.”

“You came here, didn’t you?” Gary grins around the lip of his cup. Coffee dribbles onto his teal fishing shirt, which I’m beginning to suspect is the only kind of top he owns. “You took the DNA test. That’s something.”

I try to see myself through his eyes. A woman with no family of her own, late twenties, no career to speak of, who put herself out there and flew halfway across the country for just the shot at building a bond with the uncle she never knew. I like to believe I’d find that woman brave, too, if I didn’t see her in the mirror every day.

“That’s something,” I echo.

“Speaking of, I was thinking of visiting in the fall, if you don’t mind. And you could come here for Christmas, if you don’t have any plans.”

Christmas last year was spent working retail to keep my mind off the empty rooms of my house, a sprawling ranch-style home that once belonged to my grandparents. I can’t seem to convince myself to sell it, no matter how impractical it is for just one person.

I’m about to agree, but then I imagine running into Kit. What will I say to him? I can’t avoid him forever, not if I want to continue being a part of my uncle’s life. But just the thought of his wounded expression before he masked it over brick by brick and shut the door at my feet, has me wavering.

“Er, I might not get that much PTO with this gig.” The truth is, Harvey lets me have free rein of his gym and my schedule, so long as the dues keep coming in. But what Gary doesn’t know won’t hurt him. And besides, who knows how long I’ll be at the job anyway. “If you’d be up for spending Christmas with me, then maybe I can see about coming back here late next summer?”

A year feels like a good enough buffer. Kit will have long forgotten me by then, surely.

“Sounds like a plan.” Gary’s eyes glint as he smiles, crow’s feet forming webs on either side of his face. “I promise to be all healed up by then so I don’t have to pass you off to the kids to be chauffeured.”

“I could’ve easily rented a car.”

“You shouldn’t have to.” He shrugs one shoulder. “Besides, they all owe me for the endless entertainment I provide to their otherwise mediocre lives.”

We both gaze at his foot where it’s propped on a pillow in his other chair. He grabs a wooden spoon off the pony wall dividing the living area from the kitchen and slips the handle inside his boot, eyes rolling back when he scratches what must be a bothersome itch.

I wrinkle my nose. “Sure, I guess gore is entertainment to some.”

He swats at me with the spoon, and I squeal, lurching away.

“You’re a menace.” He yields the spoon like a waggling finger, admonishing me with a grin on his face. “But I love you.”

My heart is all at once too big for my chest, yet so small I’m not sure I have enough room for the way I feel to fit in it. I practically leap across the space between us, loop my arms around his neck, and plant a kiss on his polished head. “Love you, too, Gary. Thank you. So, so much.”

“Anytime, kiddo.” He pats my arm. His voice is thick. Strangled. He clears his throat and presses on. “Zoey will be here any minute to pick you up. I’m sorry I can’t come with you. Going that long without my leg propped up is, quite frankly, hell right now.”

I sit back. “I know you’d be there if you could be.”

“Sure would. I’d scream and jump up and down. Embarrass both you and Zoey without hesitation.” He smiles. “I really am sorry, though. I wanna make sure I’m doing this uncle thing right, and being tied down by this old boot doesn’t help.”

“You’re doing it perfectly. An old pro,” I say, forcing my voice to stay steady.

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