Page 7 of Every Heartbeat After

Wouldn’t I?Guilt throbs at my temples. I certainly contemplated it more than once on the drive over, when I wasn’t dozing in and out. Turns out Kit was right. I was absolutely exhausted.

I still feel the tingle of his thumb rubbing my elbow to wake me when we finally made it to the Horseshoe. I cup it, suddenly certain they can all see the place where he touched me like a scarlet letter burned into my skin.

“You two enjoy dinner,” Zoey says, humor alight in her eyes.

“Hopefully we can actually meet sometime this weekend when it’s not so…” I wave a hand at the chaos.

She laughs, already fisting two glasses and depositing them beneath their respective beer nozzles. “I’m counting on it. You’re part of the family now.”

You hear that, Mom and Dad? I’m part of a family again.

I smile because I don’t trust myself to speak. Not until Gary and I have made it out of the bar and are safely headed back toward my motel. Our pace is slow, impeded by his less than reliable steering of the scooter supporting his booted foot. I glance at it, my eyebrows pinched together, but decide that if he’s not bothered by it, I’m not going to question it.

“Thank you so much for inviting me out here.” The night is cool and breezy, easing the heat of the day out of my system. It’s so much better than the scorching humidity of the South. “I can see why you love it so much.”

“Oh, any place can be a good place. It’s the people that make it so lovely.” He smiles up at me. “Wendy and I never had any kids of our own, but boy would she get a hoot out of Zoey and the rest of her friends. You’ll see tomorrow. They keep me young.”

“I’m glad you have them.” I genuinely mean it, but my voice is thin. Too much want stripping it of life.

When my parents died, I’d never felt more alone in my life. My grandparents took me in, sure, and my friends still called, but none of them knew how I felt. I let myself wallow in it for a summer. Really tempt the grief to drown me. But then fall came and I’d somehow managed to survive, so I decided if everyone around me’s life had gone on like normal, I’d pretend that mine had too. Soon I’d pretended for so long I even tricked myself. Until the first time my grandparents brought me back to the Carmen.

Gary nudges me with his shoulder, stealing me away from the memory. When I meet his gaze, he smiles. “You have them now, too. They may not have popped up on that DNA test, but they’re my family, so that means they’re yours.”

My smile is weak and watery but present nonetheless. “That means more than you know.”

He points to a bench along the sidewalk. “Let’s take a seat here and eat. I know we’ve talked so much, but there’s still more I’d love to know.” He passes me a foam container when I sit down, then opens his own in tandem with me. The scent of spices and fresh, chargrilled meat makes my mouth water.

“What can I tell you that I haven’t already?” I take a bite and swallow it down, sucking a dribble of green chili off my thumb. The delicious substance has soaked through the burger bun and poured onto my fries, which is pretty much ideal.

“Well, first you can tell me about your ride with Kit. He can be a real charmer, or at least he thinks so.” Gary chuckles, pops a fry in his mouth, and hums his satisfaction. “And then, if you’re willing, I’d love to hear about my baby sister.”

Despite all the moisture, my mouth is suddenly bone-dry as I contemplate which is worse. I lean into my uncle, gaze fixed on the lamppost across the street. But I’m not really seeing it. I’m seeing my mother in a casket, my father in a matching one five feet to her right.

And I still feel Kit’s thumb brushing my skin.

ChapterThree

Kit

The office is quiet.Save for myself and Tomas, everyone else is on the road. He’ll be out of here soon, and then I’ll be left alone with my thoughts.

My very unwanted thoughts.

If her picture was enticing, Tess in person is irresistible. I’ve spent the hours since I dropped her off poring over every word exchanged with a fine-tooth comb. Did she like me? Was I too much?

Was I not enough?

I shake my head at nothing, willing the intrusive thoughts to go away. She’s here for a weekend. She’s Gary’s niece and, from the sounds of it, his only surviving family. There are a million reasons I should forget Tess Monroe.

And yet…

“Shaking some marbles loose over there, Rookie?”

I glance up from the paperwork I admittedly was not reading to find Tomas leaning over my desk, eyebrows raised, with a toothpick pinned between his lips. His dark eyes are warm with mischief, not to mention a level of understanding that has my skin crawling beneath its scrutiny.

“Sorry. Not used to this schedule, and I’m a little off-kilter,” I say, hoping I sound the least bit convincing.

The corner of his mouth twitches. “So you’re saying it has nothing to do with a certain niece of a certain old man?”

---