Page 51 of Wired Fear

“Perhaps the doctor could, but I told him I didn’t want to know.” Sophie sighed. “Connor kissed me as we were watching the baby on the monitor. I let him; it felt right. We were sharing such an important moment.”

“Connor’s participating with you when neither of the possible fathers have stepped up to get involved,” Dr. Wilson said. “He seems to genuinely care about the baby, from what you’ve described, both on Kaua`i and in this situation. Be careful, though, that you don’t mistake his motivations. He’s in love with you and is using this vulnerable time in your life to get closer to you. Become indispensable.”

“I know.” Sophie looked down at her hands. “And I’m not going to lie and say it hasn’t been working.” She shook her head. “I mean, I still don’t have any sexual feelings for him. But I trust him again, after all he’s done to make up for that other thing.”

“Can you forgive and forget what he did in faking his death?” Dr. Wilson’s brows shot up. “Don’t you think he showed his priorities through that situation?”

“I think priorities can change. Perhaps the Ghost isn’t as important to him as it once was.” Sophie sighed again. “I don’t know. But I do know Alika was definitely different toward me on Kaua`i, and I can’t blame him. The adjustments he’s going through with the loss of his arm are huge. Whatever we had before seems gone. On both sides. I only feel a kind of…brotherly friendship for him. The possibility of the baby being his just seemed like a complication to him, I could tell. He had me over for a family dinner, but showed no interest in spending time with me otherwise while I was on Kaua`i. I loved meeting all of his Hawaiian relatives, though.”

“And Jake? Jake is the most likely candidate as the baby’s father, condoms or no condoms.” Dr. Wilson smiled. “Just in terms of sheer frequency of opportunity, as it were.”

A blush heated Sophie’s neck. “That much is true. I missed Jake terribly. I wanted to see him the minute I got back. Experiencing what I did with Felicia’s involvement with Jake, whatever is going on with them, has made me understand jealousy so much more. I wanted to rip her hair out by the roots when she answered his door.” Sophie shook her head. “Jake is obviously conflicted. He has always been jealous. Being a father to Alika’s child, if it goes that way, might well be too much for him.” She described the issues Jake had told her about with his own father’s lying, cheating, and ultimate abandonment. “He has a sensitivity beyond the norm about secrets. Betrayal. It’s always been an issue for us, because there’s so much I can’t tell him.”

“And there always will be.”

“And there always will be,” Sophie agreed.

“What an interesting conundrum. I wonder how all of this will resolve.” Dr. Wilson’s gaze was calm and compassionate.

“Interesting? Ha. Easy for you to describe it that way.” Sophie smiled. “But I know this: my baby and I will be okay no matter what happens. I’m going to be a mother. And I’m very happy about that.”

“Good.” Dr. Wilson smiled back. “Let’s circle back around to Pim Wat. Why did you lie about who shot Akane? Why didn’t you tell the police that a woman broke into the office and killed him?”

“How could I possibly explain that? Pim Wat had used lock picks or her own key on the door; there were no signs of forced entry. Why would some unknown woman show up just in time and kill my attacker? It would just seem like I was lying, because of course, she was also wearing gloves.” Sophie rubbed her cheek again, closing her eyes. “Believe me. I considered my options as I was sitting there, looking at Akane’s body, with that hot pistol in my lap. I came up with an explanation for her weapon: it was a backup I’d hidden, taped under Felicia’s desk after he disarmed me in the computer lab.”

Dr. Wilson digested this. “I worry that, now that you’ve lied for Pim Wat, she has leverage on you.” Dr. Wilson’s blue eyes were intent. “How did Pim Wat know Akane was going to attack you? Why did she do what she did? There are so many unanswered questions about your mother’s role.”

“She has killed to protect me before. She shot the assassin who was hired to kill me by the Changs.” Sophie reiterated Pim Wat’s story about shooting the assassin she called the Lizard. “She is a strange sort of guardian angel, watching over me.”

“Perhaps her way of showing love is eliminating those who threaten you.”

“She does not love me in any normal sense,” Sophie stated definitely. “She is territorial. I belong to her, and no one gets to mess with what belongs to her. She complained of the challenge of the Lizard, of taking a bullet in the vest for me when he tried to kill her—so I know what she does is not always easy. Perhaps that’s why I covered for her. To honor that.”

Dr. Wilson snorted. “She may not love you in any normal sense, but you are her daughter. You do love her, and a part of you was both loyal and grateful for what she’d done in saving your life and shooting Akane.”

Sophie said nothing.

“Well, let’s hope your story of having a backup gun stashed under Felicia’s desk holds up, and covering for her doesn’t bite you on the butt.”

“That’s not the only worry I have about my mother.” Sophie told Dr. Wilson about the strange and wonderful visit from her childhood nanny. “Armita was just the same—and seeing her, I felt just the same about her. Shewasmy mother for the first seven years of my life, in everything but name. I asked her to join me, to help me care for my baby—but even though she seemed thrilled with the idea, she also seemed afraid of my mother. Too afraid to try to leave, or even for me to let Pim Wat know that I’d seen her.”

“Armita obviously came to you at great personal risk, if Pim Wat has prevented her from seeing you all of these years.” Dr. Wilson shook her head. “And she took that risk solely to warn you.”

“Yes. I hope I did the right thing, telling her I was pregnant. I hope she won’t tell Pim Wat. I do not trust my mother.” Sophie wrapped her arms over her abdomen. “She has plans for me. And a child may not be part of them.”

“Unfortunately, I don’t think you’ve seen the last of your mother, nor do we know what her real agenda is.” Dr. Wilson made a note on her tablet. “Now, what are you going to do about Jake?”

Sophie shook her head. “I don’t know. I just don’t know.”

Chapter Thirty-Eight

Aunty Grace poured Terence a cup of fragrant green tea with only a little tremor in her hands. “Mahalo, Aunty.” Once his great-aunt’s tea was poured and she’d sipped, Terence lifted the simple clay cup to his lips as well. “Appreciate you meeting with me.”

Grace Kapuniokalani Chang Manuka Rivera was the oldest surviving Chang, and Terence’s deceased namesake grandfather’s aunt. Aunty Grace had outlived two husbands and a couple of wars, and she was still a power player, owning a majority of shares in Chang Enterprises, Inc., the family’s umbrella company. Grace had just successfully blocked his renaming of that company with her share vote.

“What a surprise you turned out to be, Terence Chang.” Morning sunlight came through the window of her living room to light Grace’s white hair like a halo. “What am I to do about you?”

Terence hadn’t visited Grace until after Akane’s death because he wasn’t sure whose side she was on. Though he’d heard through the “coconut wireless” that Grace was in favor of the kind of progressive change toward legitimate business that Terence wanted to foster, Akane was one of her grandsons, and Terence had just eliminated an entire branch of her family tree.

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