Page 40 of Wired Ghost

Dr. Wilson let a good while go by until Sophie had cried herself out. Finally, she straightened up and dabbed her face. She sat back against the cushions.

So did Dr. Wilson. “You said the outcome would have been different if you’d been with Raveaux. Is Raveaux not capable of sacrifice?”

“He is. I know he is.” Sophie told Dr. Wilson about the loss of Raveaux’s wife and daughter, about his arms, permanently scarred by the fire that had taken their lives. “He’s brave. I would trust him with my life in a situation like Jake and I were in. But, as I said, he is a smaller man. We are close in height. I can’t see him being physically able to carry me up that wall, push me onto that ledge, like Jake did.”

“Then you both would have died.” They sat for a moment with the magnitude of what had happened, then Dr. Wilson shook herself visibly. “You can’t change the past. We must find a way to deal with whatis.”

“I don’t know if I can.” Sophie shredded the tissue, looking up into Dr. Wilson’s eyes. “I don’t know how I will get through tomorrow, and however long it takes for him to die. Without even being able to see him.”

“Terrible. Would you like me to try to speak with his relatives on your behalf?”

Sophie shut her eyes, picturing the hatred in Janice Dunn’s eyes. “No. It won’t help.”

“And your daughter? What’s going on with Momi?”

“She’s fine. She’s with Armita and Alika on Kaua`i. They offered to come here to the Big Island, to bring her to me, but I don’t have what it takes right now, much as being with her comforts me. Hopefully, by the end of the month, when it’s my turn, I will be able to be her mother.”

Dr. Wilson shook her head. “You sell yourself short, Sophie. I know you will meet Momi’s needs, no matter how you feel in the moment. But what about Connor? He rescued you. Does he know about Jake?”

“I called him. I left a message thanking him, letting him know that Jake was . . . not going to recover. He hasn’t called back.”

“That seems odd.”

“I don’t know. He took some inhalation damage too, as did the Thai man with him. Connor told me he keeps the phone charged, but not with him. And as I told you, he couldn’t stay or be admitted to the hospital because his Sheldon Hamilton identity’s legally dead. I was conscious enough to realize he basically had to hijack the helicopter that rescued us.”

“Tell me about that.”

“I regained consciousness after they hauled me up from the lava tube and put me on oxygen. I was dazed, but I realized Jake wasn’t waking up.” Sophie squeezed more tears out of her eyes. “I lay beside him on the helicopter. Touching him. Calling him back to me. I didn’t know I was saying goodbye.” Sophie met Dr. Wilson’s eyes. “How do I get through this? Really. I’m asking sincerely.”

“There’s no shortcut, my dear. This is the ugly truth of living—death is a part of it. And death is often, more often than people want to acknowledge, not clean or simple. At least Jake’s wishes were clear and on record. Wouldn’t it be worse to have his mother waiting, and hoping, and keeping him alive, while his body withered away?”

“Yes. That would be worse. Patty agrees. His mother does not, but she cannot overturn his directive.” Sophie carefully set the rake down on the side of the sand garden.

Dr. Wilson reached across the table and took Sophie’s hands in hers. “All I can do is tell you that I’ll be beside you every step of this journey—and reassure you that, though you doubt yourself, you’re stronger than you know.”

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Raveaux

Raveaux lookedat his reservations back to Oahu on his phone. He’d called Bix and debriefed remotely. He’d gone to the modest South Hilo Police Department station and given an official statement, for the record, of his experience with the operation to capture Lia Ayabe and the meth making gang—thinking of how that sounded, his mouth almost quirked up.“That would have made a unique name for a band,”Gita’s voice said in his mind. She loved finding silly band names . . .

He was scheduled to leave Hilo.

But it didn’t feel right.

The drama unfolding around Jake’s condition was so grave; Sophie might need something, someone. He might be able to help.

Raveaux paced a bit in the musty smelling room of his motel, walking back and forth past the cheap rattan bed stand, the slippery plumeria print coverlet brushing his trouser-clad legs.

Yes, it felt wrong to leave her alone with this crisis to get through—but she wasn’t alone. Her friend Marcella had arrived; her father was with her; she was going to therapy with her psychologist, Dr. Wilson, and most clearly:she wanted nothing to do with him.

He’d done his best to save Jake’s life when he had that opportunity. He’d paid his respects to Jake’s mother and sister; he’d said his own secret goodbye through the window of the ICU to the man who held Sophie’s heart. No, truly, he had no role here. To continue to stay would only accentuate that, and cause people to wonder—as it caused him to wonder.

Raveaux straightened his shoulders. “Enough,” he said aloud. He sent Sophie a text:“Returning to Oahu. Deeply sorry for all that’s happened. Let me know if I can help in any way.”

He picked up his travel duffel and swung his old leather messenger bag, carried to hundreds of crime scenes over the years, up onto his shoulder. He stepped out of the motel room and shut the door, inhaling the briny scent of Hilo Bay, feeling the light breeze on his face, the sun on his hair.

He was alive.

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