Page 59 of Wired Ghost

“Speaking as your former coach here—I think you need to hit the weights and add cardio to your routine. I know you, Sophie, and if you aren’t getting those endorphins, the depression could get worse.”

“At this point, I can’t tell how much of feeling so lethargic is grief, or depression. Maybe they’re the same right now.” Sophie’s smile was forced. “But thanks for the encouragement. I’ll give it a try, because as usual, I know you’re right.” She told Momi to say goodbye to her daddy, and they ended the call.

Armita came to the door, waving a towel in each hand. “It’s bath time, Little Bean. You get the red towel, or the blue one. Which do you want?”

“No bath! No towel!” shrieked Momi, jumping up to run away. Armita made growling noises and flapped the towels like wings, and Momi’s temper turned to giggles as they ran toward the bathroom.

Sophie remained where she sat, cross-legged on the woven matting that covered the teak floor.

She had her daughter for another month.A reprieve.

She stood up and swayed at the rush of blood from her head. She grabbed the edge of the dresser until the wooziness passed. Even as it did, she continued to cling to the dresser, needing its support.

“No,” she said aloud. “No, it can’t be.” But the last time she remembered feeling faint was when she was pregnant with Momi. “No,” she said again, and fumbled over to the bed to collapse upon it, throwing an arm over her eyes. “Oh, no.”

She had to force herself to think the situation through and count the weeks backward.

She and Jake had made love in that lava tube close to eight weeks ago. She’d begun to take a pill prior to that, but it must not have been up to effective strength, and she’d been so distracted by grief she hadn’t noticed missing her period.

Sophie slid her hands up her flat belly to cup her breasts. They were plump and tender to the touch, even though she’d had no appetite and lost weight since Jake died.

She didn’t need a pregnancy test to know—all the signs were there.

“How could this have happened to me?” Sophie whispered aloud, speaking to the spotted gecko who really liked the beam above her bed. “I can’t have another child with no partner.” Her cheeks heated at the shame—two children by different men, and no ring on her finger!

And yet.

This was Jake’s child. He would have been so happy. He would have been ecstatic.

Her hand slid down to rest over the apple-sized hardness of her uterus, resting in the cradle of her pelvis. She palpated the area gently, closing her eyes.

She could almost feel Jake’s arms around her, his tender kiss on that spot where the baby grew. He’d lavished kisses on Momi, there too, while Sophie was pregnant; once he decided she was his, shehad been—in all but name.

And if this baby lived, something more of Jake than a few organs donated to strangers would remain. The child would always remind her of herkun dii, and of the love and passion they’d shared. He or she would be a living epitaph.

That Jake wasn’t alive to share this moment with her made tears rush to Sophie’s eyes.

She wrapped both arms over her face to stifle them. “Five minutes. That’s all I get. Five minutes,” she muttered. She breathed through the urge to cry, and uncovered her face.

Connor came to the door. He frowned at the sight of her lying flat on the bed. “It’s dinnertime and Nam has some great stir fry going. You feeling okay?”

Sophie sat up quickly, hiding her dizziness at the abrupt motion. “Yes. I hope you don’t mind having us for longer—Alika said it’s okay for me to keep Momi another month.”

A grin broke across Connor’s tanned face. Unlike Sophie, he spent long hours working out in his gym, running around the island, meditating in precipitous locations, and drilling with his collection of weapons. He was as hard and chiseled as he’d been the day he joined her from the compound. “I can’t promise I’ll be able to stay the whole time, but I hope so. I could get used to this relaxed life.”

“Ha! You? Relaxed?” Sophie slid an arm through Connor’s as she walked toward the dining room, firmly shutting a mental door on the thought of her pregnancy. “I’m going to join you in the gym tomorrow.”

Chapter Forty-Two

Sophie

Sophie layon the bench and pushed a barbell loaded with half of her usual weight. She was shocked by how much muscle tone she’d lost, between the ordeal in the lava tube and a couple of months of wallowing in grief. But Sophie’d meant what she said to Connor the day before; pregnant or not, she was getting back in shape.

Across from her, Connor pistoned his body up and down on a pullup bar set in the doorway of the open-air gym, a space she was very familiar with from the time she’d spent in it more than two years ago, getting fit after Momi’s birth and preparing to retrieve her from her mother.

Sophie’s ears were covered by a pair of cordless headphones, and the heavy beat of rock music kept her moving even as her arms trembled with strain. Finally, she dropped the bar back into its cradle, and took her time sitting back up. She lifted a water bottle to drink, though it made her queasy. Staying hydrated was important.

She hadn’t wanted to get up that morning at all. The days ahead had seemed entirely overwhelming when she’d woken up and remembered that, not only was Jake dead, she was pregnant with his baby.

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