Page 72 of I'm Not in Love (I Promise)

“You’re right.” I blow out a breath. “Maybe we call this in? I’ll take the note and we can claim we have no idea what happened?”

“What does the note say?”

I lean against the wall, desperately wanting to slide down and rest my head in my hands. “You can read it when you get here. Just move your ass.”

The next fewhours are chaos. Leon and I, along with Ray and his team, make sure every ounce of evidence from Dolores’ place is secured. Ray has an in with a cremation worker at a funeral home a few towns over. He’s promised to make sure she’s well taken care of. After I say my goodbyes and watch Ray’s guys drive away, I slump on her couch and rub my eyes. Leon joins me a few minutes later.

“Jasper’s going to lose it,” Leon says.

“I know.” I light a smoke, inhaling with my head hung low. “You talk to your father?”

“Nah, I got his assistant, but she said he’ll get back to me. I gave Ray a big chunk to keep him happy. He knows we’re good for it.”

As I watch the cherry burn, I say what I’ve been thinking for a while. “What if we just get the fuck out of town? I could try and get Blake to transfer schools. We could start a security business somewhere or pick up more of whatever the hell it is that you do. Fuck, we can even open a gym. I didn’t hate that idea when we were playing around with it in Florida. Start fresh. Live our lives.”

Leon stares at a framed photo of the Langston’s when they were young for what feels like an hour. When he faces me, his eyes are rimmed in red. “You want to give up on Bailey? Just fucking pick up and start a new life with Blake? Go buy a house in a gated community, join a country club, play some golf? Well, fuck off. Bailey’s out there and I refuse to give up on her. So go ahead, leave. If Blake will even go with you.” He stands and makes his way to the front door but I jump up and block his path.

“What do you meanifshe’ll go with me? She will. This isn’t just some hookup for me. I love her, man. You’ve gotta know how it feels to do anything to protect the one you love?” Leon’s eyes simmer with unspoken rage. I realize what I’ve said and wish I could punch myself in the face. “Shit, sorry man. That’s not what I meant. Listen, we’re tired. It’s been a long fucking day. The sun’s about to come out already. Let’s go get some sleep and talk about shit when we’re rested.”

“Does she even know what you’ve been up to? How she’s not the first woman you’ve gone mental over? Does she know about the cameras and the pictures and your special secret box?” He scoffs. “Don’t fucking tell me shit about love. You haven’t got a clue.”

He storms out the door and a few seconds later I hear the sudden roar of his bike coming to life. By the time I make it outside, the only trace of him is the distant buzz of his engine from down the street.

I stare after him, hoping with everything in me that he doesn’t make a dumb mistake. We all can be reckless, that much has been proven time and again, but the Leon that I’ve known for years is slipping away. With Bailey being gone this long and whatever shit he’s been dealing with from his father, he’s different. Short-tempered. Withdrawn. I know I struck a nerve and I feel like shit, but he threw some low blows and now I’m in my head.

Maybe I haven’t been as open with Blake as I should? Would she stay if she knew all the shit I’ve done?

Fuck.

I can’t deal with this now. Not with Dolores’ body still imprinted on the mattress and the fucks who did it still out there. I should be working with my brothers to figure this out, not fighting. That’s on me.

Before I go upstairs, I pull out my phone to text Leon.

Me: I’m sorry, brother. I don’t know what I was thinking. Be careful, alright?

Blake looks so serene asleep in my bed. Exactly where she should be. Her dark hair lay like a satin sheet beside her head. Her parted lips, still stained in fake blood, expel slow and steady breaths. In these still moments, when she’s vulnerable and free from the mask we wear for the world, I’m drawn to her more than ever.

I quickly strip down and rinse off, letting the water beat on my tired shoulders. When I come back into the bedroom, I find the blanket shifted, revealing Blake’s gorgeous bare skin.

After everything we went through today, my need to be inside her is overwhelming. To erase any distance between us, eliminate every molecule separating our bodies, so there’s no telling where I end and she begins. The desire coursing through me is more important than breathing. At this point I’d rather asphyxiate than spend another second without her.

I pull the blanket down and climb in beside her, tracing her curves with a feather light touch. She murmurs and shifts closer, pressing her full ass against my cock. I was already hard from watching her sleep, but feeling her soft skin against me, I’m fucking done for.

I reach around and slide my hand into her panties, suppressing a groan when I find her wet for me. Spitting into my palm, I fist my cock and stroke, making sure I’m wet enough to slide into her with ease. My patience has all but run out. Pulling her panties to the side, I line my aching cock against her slit and push inside, staying still while her walls tighten around me. My muscles tense with the urge to pump my hips, but I sit with that need, letting our bodies relax before plunging all the way inside her, not leaving an inch between our skin.

I breathe through the urge to move but it’s all-consuming. Seeing how quickly Mrs. Langston’s life was snuffed out was the gut punch that I needed to wake the fuck up. We’re not guaranteed a single second on this earth, and I’ll be damned if I waste one night hiding who I am.

Blake is mine.

My fixation.

My singular reason for existing.

I’m fucking drowning and she’s the air I breathe.

She has no choice but to accept who I am. I’ll hold onto her with every fiber of my being. Keep her safe from the monsters of this world. I’d rather die, than live without her.

I wrap my arm around her waist and cup her breast, circling her nipple until it hardens into a perfect bud. She reacts to my touch with a murmur and slight shift. I brush the pad of my thumb over her nipple again and ever so slowly grind my hips. She feels too damn good.

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