Page 84 of King of Hearts

The lengthy, drawn-out farewells were only going to make me feel worse about something that was already wreaking havoc on my torn heart. I didn’t want to leave Sydney. It was my home. A place where all my memories were born and those that I loved resided. My need for peace, however, overshadowed my nostalgia. I knew I would not be able to find it here, where every corner was coated with harsh reminders of what I very nearly had.

I hugged my family tightly at the check-in desk. The bittersweet taste of leaving coating my goodbyes as Dad gave me a tap on the arm and reminded me not to be a stranger.

“Love you, Bellsy.”

Amidst the hustle and bustle of the departure lounge, we paused to smile at each other before I soon called somewhere else home. Nan pulled me in close and whispered some final words of love, encouragement and hope, weaving a tapestry of emotions that would linger long after our final goodbye. I swatted them both away with a tearful smile and looked towards Marlee. My best friend, sister from another mister, soulmate in so many ways. We reached for each other, our tears freely falling now with the weight of the impending separation heavy in our embrace.

“I will miss you, bitch.” I said, sniffling ungracefully in her ear as Marlee shook with her responding laugh.

“You’re an animal. And fuck I’m going to miss you too.” I sunk into her hug, cherishing the warmth of our friendship, love and all the memories before I tore myself away and wiped my tears.

“Okay. Enough of this hideous crap. It’s an hour flight. I will call you when I land. Marls, make sure these two clowns get home, yeah?” I bent down and picked up my bag, waving and turning to walk towards my gate. I paused, stealing one last glance and saw the three of them hugging, Marlee and Dad with smiles, Queeny with tears which she angrily wiped as she gave me a shooing motion, telling me it was time to go.

I laughed through what was the threat of an emotional tirade before heading towards the boarding gate.

I snapped a photo of myself holding my boarding pass and sent it to the new group chat I created with Marlee and Queeny which was aptly titled,Bitches be Crazy. It would be weird not seeing them as often as I did now but I couldn’t deny there was a little excitement in the unknown of a new city.

When my row was called to board, I stood and reached for my carry-on bag before taking one final look around. People were shuffling to their gates, tickets in one hand, coffees in the other, everyone with somewhere to go and someone to see. Airports were always full of the most unexpected things and I smiled softly at the thought that, for a brief moment in time, I was here and would become another passing soul.

I smiled as my phone buzzed, anticipating the smart arse reply from Nan but was surprised when Felicity’s name appeared on the screen. I watched it ring for a few seconds, briefly contemplating letting it go to voicemail, before deciding to answer.

“Flick, hi.” I did my best to appear jovial, feeling tanked after the teary family goodbye I did not anticipate.

“Arna, hey. I’m so glad I caught you. Your flight is this morning, right?” I paused, wondering how she knew that, before regrouping.

“It is. I’m actually at the boarding gate right now.”

“Oh, sorry. I won’t keep you. I just wanted to say I’m sorry again. For everything.” She paused, taking a nervous breath. “Shit was weird for a while and I think we were pitted as enemies which is total bullshit because in another life, we would have been super good friends and maybe even worked together, but like actually worked together. I think you’re awesome and ferocious and admirable. You deserve better and I hope you find that in the Melbourne office. Because it’s better than what you got from Darren. You know –”

“Flick.” I cut in before she rambled for an hour with apologies. “It’s okay, really. Let’s catch up when I’m in Sydney nextorcome and see me in Melbourne.”

Her relief was apparent in her sigh. “Okay, okay. Hey, I’m sorry about you and Andy too. I really thought –”

“I’m so sorry,” I said, interrupting her again. “But I really need to go. I have to board.” There were only two more people left in front of me and I walked towards them ready to hang up before she tried to talk to me about him again.

“Oh. Oh, okay. Right. Yes. Board. I will –”

“Arna!” Someone shouting my name from behind reefed me from the phone conversation, the boarding gate and everything else around me. I froze, my body refusing to move let alone look back.

“Arna. Wait!” I glanced at my phone, noticing Felicity had ended the call but still, I didn’t turn around.

I knew that voice. I knew who it was and if I ignored it and walked the final three metres in front of me, I would be on the plane and in approximately ninety minutes, landing in Melbourne with all of this behind me.

“Next, please.” The flight attendant smiled in my direction, her outstretched arm awaiting the boarding pass which was gripped tightly in my hand. I looked from her to my ticket and back to her but my feet were glued to the spot. I opened my mouth to say something – anything, but all reasonable thought eviscerated because I couldfeelhim behind me.

“Please don’t leave.” His soft plea was like electricity, simultaneously shocking me and lighting me from within.

I could hear his deep breaths, even picture the way his chest would be rising and falling, and I closed my eyes, taking a deep reassuring inhale which I instantly regretted. When I packed up my things, I was finally rid of the smell which plagued my dreams. Breathing him in now, after a week where even getting out of bed was tough, was like a soothing balm for my weary soul. It wrapped around me, cradling me in its embrace and made me weak at the knees.

“Arnabelle, please don’t leave me.” His whispered plea was like a bullet as my eyes shot open at the same time as my mouth gaped like a goldfish.

Oh, this was not happening.Meleavinghim?

The audacity of this mother fucker.

I swung around to face him, not fully prepared for the mess that stood before me, but livid enough to be driven on instinct. I’d seen him in a number of ways. Sweaty and exhausted after a long match, messy and ruffled after a particularly satiating night, happy and full after a dinner with his family. Angry, frustrated, even uncertain, but never had I seen him look so sad. Desperate almost. It shocked me speechless as I tilted my head and took him in for the first time in one hundred and sixty-eight hours. My hand tingled to reach for him, to press it to his chest and close my eyes, letting his warmth recharge me.

I missed him. Oh my god, did I miss him. Butheleftme. He left me with radio silence and no opportunity to explain.

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