Page 13 of King of Clubs

Obviously sensing I was okay based on my shameless self deprecation, Arna burst into a fit of laughter. “I can’t - believe - you fell on your arse. Lucky you were wearing sexy panties because we all saw them. We also need to work on your flirting skills,” she continued laughing, leaning over to hold her side and I couldn’t help allowing the contagious mirth free.

“Don’t even try to hide it. I felt hot just watching that. What the heck?” She was fanning herself with her right hand, her cackle only just subsiding when she put an arm around me to both comfort and silently check-in. I leant into her, having no words to explain whatever that was, but in desperate need of running water to remove the sticky drink from my legs. The perfect escape from this conversation.

“It wasn’t that noticeable,” she lied with a smile and I nodded, not believing her for a second but appreciating the sentiment all the same. I guess some traumas ran deeper than others and there were still things to work on overcoming.

“I’m going to sort this situation out,” I said, pointing to my still wet crotch and hoping like hell she would forget that entire massacre of shame.

“I’m sure you are,” she replied with an exaggerated wink. She knew full well that this was strategically timed on my part, but gave me the out, smirking as she grabbed her phone to likely message Andy and recount the downfall of my social life in front of his friend. I could only imagine the taunts he was going to throw my way.

Heading towards the bathroom, I stumbled, a little unsteady on my feet. I was a bit more intoxicated than I realised, probably due to the pre-drinks we shared while we got dressed. I hadn’t drunk in a while, which seemed entirely reasonable given my inability to behave like a normal person only a moment ago. But here tonight, with my best friend and in a place that provided personal security, I felt untethered to my past and I was determined to forge ahead.

Destroying the shoes of the owner and flashing my panties aside. Obviously.

When I joined the line, there were a fair few ladies already waiting, so I grabbed my phone to do a discreet social search for Nexus and its yummy owner.

How much could I discover about the thunderous man in a few minutes – challenge accepted. I was just loading the social media images of the club when I was interrupted by someone calling my name.

My face blanched at the familiarity in the feminine voice. Timidly looking in the direction it emanated, she stood a few feet away yet suddenly I felt smothered. Either not noticing or choosing to ignore my discomfort, she took a step forward and I locked eyes with my ex's sister.

“Itisyou,” oblivious to the ladies around us who really didn’t want to hear our conversation, she continued. “How are you?” She asked as she drew me in for a hug. “I can't believe it's actually you. You look as gorgeous as ever.”

The way my legs began shaking was evidence of my fear.

The chances of seeing her and for the three second interval when I wasn’t with Arna were crazy but of course it would happen to me.

With my initial shock, I didn’t register her words, and for a moment I focused on how we could be in the exact same place, on one of the rare occasions I came out and how very different this same situation would have been only a year or two ago.

I had always liked Lori. A few years younger than her brother and only one younger than me, we spent a great deal of time together, laughing over dinners, sharing a bottle of wine and teasing Lucas as often as possible. Until he decided he no longer enjoyed those nights, and I would deal with his moods once Lori had gone to bed or home for the evening. I did my best to distance myself once those days became more frequent and I wondered if she understood why I began ignoring her messages. If maybe she knew exactly what her brother was like but was powerless to do anything.

Tucking my hair behind my ear, I nervously looked over my shoulder, breathing through the erratic pounding of my heart. The alcohol was most definitely helping because otherwise I would have likely peed my pants and then joined it as a messy puddle on the floor.

“It’s nice to see you too, Lori. I hope you’ve been well.” I was careful to avoid mentioning Lucas. The last thing I needed was him hearing I showed any kind of interest when the strangulating pressure of our relationship was finally gone. The line of giggly drunk women suddenly moved, ending our conversation abruptly. Pointing apologetically at the bathrooms, although not even remotely sorry, I gave her a wave.

“So sorry, I’m busting. Take care, Lori.” Her smile appeared almost pained as I shuffled into the toilets in an exaggeratedI need to peewalk. Turning the lock on the cubicle I braced myself against the closed door breathing in and out, twirling the woven bracelet I’d been wearing for the past fortnight. It was green and didn't even remotely match my outfit, but it was a symbol of change, and was much better than the black I'd been wearing when I couldn't even begin to fathom feeling better. The repetition of the movement met its purpose and my breathing slowed enough for me to finish up. If I saw her again, I would smile and keep moving. There was nothing left to say, no need for conversations or to catch up. I prayed she wouldn’t tell her brother she'd seen me because the less he knew about where I had been or what I was doing, the better. I was done with that part of my life.

Returning to the table after a five minute conversation with a group of drunk women who I’m fairly confident wanted to adopt me based on our shared use of Burt’s Bees lip balm, I was grateful to find another round of drinks already lined up in front of my seat. Seeing Lori was one of the last things I expected and I breathed easier once I was back with Arna. Reaching for a fresh purple beauty, I guzzled the entire thing, again, silently thanking Andy for securing this section which at least afforded this privacy.

“You okay, sweetie, or just really thirsty?” Arna’s eyebrows were almost in her hairline as she stared at me. I’m not sure why I was surprised given how perceptive she was, although skolling an entire drink had probably been a giant red flag. Generally, she was a wave of support whenever I needed someone and provided the laughs and vodka before I even knew to ask. She always had snacks in her bag and was the first in line for a movie night, even though it usually saw her reading and pretending to watch while I re-watched a Kate Hudson film for the 400th time and repeatedly raved on about how bloody stunning she was.

Knowing her stare was now laced with a layer of impatience, I recounted my interaction with Lori.

She responded exactly as expected, with an offer to either a) find her and take her down or b) leave immediately.

Politely declining both I instead answered with, “Let’s dance.”

I was done running.

We were safe here and given she was heading to the airport soon we needed to make the most of the short hours, amazing private area and electric music which had transitioned to a Macklemore anthem.

I reached for her hand, ignoring the way my legs wobbled a little from the alcohol, which at this point, was making up 80% of my bodily fluids. We moved to the dance floor with our security guard standing close enough to keep that feeling of sanctuary swimming through my veins.

Pushing all other worries from my mind, I lost myself in the music.

Sebastian

Chapter Five

FillingatumblerImoved to the viewing glass. Whiskey had never tasted so good and the burn spreading through my body only intensified the longer I stood pretending I was watching anything other than her.

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