Page 37 of King of Jokers

Not even once.

I thought,hoped, when she woke and noticed I was gone, she would call me. Beg me to come back. Or even just send me a message to say hi. But I had no contact. And I didn’t have the emotional capacity to reach out after I’d stripped myself bare. All cards on the table, finally telling her how I felt, only for it not to be enough.

Iwasn’t enough.

With that sobering thought, I threw what was left of my belongings into my locker and headed for the bathrooms to regroup before we hit the paddock. I bypassed the main set, knowing it would be filled with raucous laughter, retellings of trips overseas plus stories from a couple of the newer boys getting married or engaged. Not wanting to dampen the mood anymore than I already was, I locked myself in the room which housed a shower and a sink.

Fuck knows what it was used for but it was lockable and gave me a few minutes on my own to splash water on my face and get my head clear. At least I had pre-season to focus on. A few months where I didn’t have to think about the subtle hint of strawberry when I snuggled into the crook of her neck or the feel of her hips in my hands and her lips against my own.

Fuck.

Forcefully unlocking the door, I raced out and joined the boys on the field needing the distraction more than ever.

By the end of the session I felt a bit better. Mentally, I’d been able to find my rhythm, no room for thoughts anywhere other than on the next task I was assigned. Most of the time by Jay, who over the break had accepted an offer as Defensive Coach. When I first arrived and saw him with the coaching staff, I wasn’t even the least bit surprised. His knowledge of the game was first-class and I was honoured to learn from him, even if he did push me harder than the rest today.

“You look trim,” Jay said as a cold splash of water hit my back courtesy of the bottle in his hand.

“Thanks, Coach,” I said with a smirk. The first time my lips had even felt like lifting in the last two days.

“Oooh. I like the sound of that.” He mocked and my lips lifted a little higher.

“You good, man?” He moved in closer, standing in front of me so the sun was no longer in my eyes. Sitting on the ground, I undid my laces and took my boots off. Always the first thing I did after finishing a session.“Because you look like shit.”

“Honestly. No.”

“I’m not going to pry. But you know where my office is if you need to come chat to Coach Jay.” His words held his signature humour, but I knew the sentiment was sincere all the same.

“Thanks, Bro. I’ll be okay.”

When he didn’t reply I glanced up towards him but he was looking over my head.

“I think you might just be right,” he replied with a wink before walking around me, the sun suddenly blinding me again.

Turning to ask what he meant, I was stunned into silence when I saw Andy walking towards me with a very familiar companion. I thrust my hand up, blocking the sun and squinting to make sure I wasn’t seeing things but the way my pulse noticeably quickened told me it wasn’t a mirage.

Winter was here.

MyWinter was in Sydney, walking towards me in the middle of the fucking ground with Andy, her hand holding his arm as if she needed help balancing.

What the fuck.

I shot up to my feet, wearing only my training shorts and a thick layer of sweat. My breathing was heavy. No longer from the intensity of our session, but the only person I could currently see.

Her legs were highlighted by those fucking heels I loved so much, her denim skirt short, giving every fucker on the field a gorgeous view of something they had no business looking at.

Her shoulders were pushed back exuding confidence, but the closer she got to me, the more I knew it was all false bravado.

I could see the terror in her eyes and when she stopped less than a metre from me, I also noticed the sheets of paper she was holding were visibly shaking.

“Good luck,” Andy said to her and my eyes shot to him where he was wearing a shit-eating grin and wiggling his eyebrows at me. She thanked him as he stepped away yelling at the rest of my ogling teammates to hit the showers.

Her chest was rising and falling rapidly, a look of pure fear in her eyes. Taking a step forward she raised her hand, keeping me frozen.

“After you left,” she paused, taking a deep breath as if those words alone pained her, “I realised I never read you the Epilogue of Jackson and Summer’s story.” She closed her eyes briefly, taking another deep breath.

Win was nervous in new places at the best of times, but this was different. She was terrified.

Opening her eyes, she lifted each foot one at a time. “Sorry, I didn’t really consider walking on grass in high heels. I’m sinking.” She admitted with a small smile.

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