Page 31 of Wanted By the Alien Warden

Which was a reprehensively unprofessional attitude to take towards the human-Zabrian liaison I was supposed to be impressing. I should have been coming up with tactics to properly show her my men and this world. Not spending all my time wondering what her lips might feel like beneath the calloused pads of my fingers.

“Are you talking about pyjamas?”

“Yes. Of course I am. That’s what I said.”

That drew a startled laugh from her as I fetched the measuring strip from the pile.

“That is absolutely not what you said,” she replied.

“You probably misheard me,” I grunted. “I understand that human ears are not nearly as effective as a Zabrian’s.”

“I’ll be sure to put that in the book,” she said, rolling her eyes up towards the ceiling and then back down. It was a gesture I recognized, having seen both Cherry and Darcy do something similar, but I was not yet sure exactly what it meant.

“Well… Good, then,” I said. I held up the strip of hide. “Come closer.”

Tasha appeared taken aback.

“Are you… What’s that for?” She crept subtly backwards towards the closed door, taking tiny, shuffling steps, like I would not notice. As if, in the space that stretched between us, I was not aware of every single move she made, every breath she took.

“Are you going to go all warden on me and tie me up or something?” The colour drained from her cheeks. “Is that your plan to keep the bride program going? Are you planning to keep me here against my will until I agree?”

“What? No!” I shook the hide at her. “I need to measure you! For the clothing! And the jammeronis!”

“Jammies?”

“Once again, that is precisely what I said.”

She bit her lips between her teeth and peered at the strip dangling in the air. I caught both ends between my claws, tightening it and turning it so that she could see the numbers and lines on one side.

“They are units of measurement,” I told her.

Finally, she breathed out and stepped closer.

But not nearly close enough.

“What am I supposed to do from that distance?” I asked her. “Lasso you?”

The colour was back in her cheeks now.

I liked that.

I also liked the idea I’d just given myself. I swept my tail off its hook, tossed it between us, then looped it round her waist.

“Excuse me!” She cried, startled as I dragged to closer.

“You are excused,” I muttered. I pinched my tail where the tip met the part closer to my body. I kept my finger and thumb there as I released her waist, then I measured the tip of my tail to the place my fingers touched.

“Look,” I said, “one measurement is already complete.”

“Alright, well, you could have just done that with the measuring tape like a normal person.”

“I do not have any adhesive tapes with me.”

I also was not entirely sure that I qualified as a “normal person” by either human or Zabrian standards. No male in this colony likely did. But I decided that I did not need to point that out to her right now.

“You’re not going to use your tail for the rest of it, are you?” she asked, her eyes darting from the strip of hide to my tail.

“I wasn’t planning on it. Why? Do you want me to?”

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