I had even less business comparing him to my ex.
Aware of the way I was probably staring at him, I yanked my gaze from the warden’s face to size up Silar, the only one who hadn’t spoken to me yet. Even with my attention on him, the golden-skinned male said nothing. He withstood my appraising look in utter silence.
But even if he didn’t speak, he didn’t cower away, either. I didn’t think his silence was one borne of fear or shame. There was something so still and solid about Cherry’s husband. Stoic, even. He met my gaze with his own lashless blue one. Unlike the warden, I didn’t sense any arrogance in him. I didn’t sense any challenge in him, either. No blustering, no deception. He appeared to me as a calm, quiet man with a river of reserved strength running through him.
He certainly didn’t look like a cold-blooded killer.
“So, when did you find out?” I finally said to Cherry. “About the conviction.”
“Not long after we were married,” Cherry said. “But Silar didn’t know it had been kept from me at the time of our wedding. And I made sure to tell the other two before they got married. So that they could go into this with eyes wide open. Obviously, they decided to go through with it.”
I nodded, taking in her appearance the same way I had with Silar a moment ago. She looked better than when I’d last seen her in person. When she’d first arrived months ago at Elora Station, she hadn’t had much of anything with her besides the clothes on her back – a filthy factory uniform from New Toronto. A uniform I’d recognized, because I’d once worn one just like it. She’d been friendly and excited about her marriage – so excited she ended up leaving before the official trip out here – but she’dalso been paler then, and jumpier, often seeming anxious, or even frightened, about something.
I saw no signs of that anxiety in her now. Her face glowed, and her shoulders were relaxed. Her clothing, while dusty, looked like new, and it fit like it had been custom-made for her. She took Silar’s hand in her own and smiled, perfectly at ease at his side.
Her husband’s side.
Themurderer’sside.
Marrying a killer looked like it was the best damn thing that had ever happened to her.
Which was… good?
I didn’t let myself give in to total relief just yet. Just because Cherry was over-the-moon with her convict husband didn’t mean that everything out here was all hunky dory. I still needed to meet with Magnolia and Darcy in person. And potentially meet Oaken and any other Zabrian males who still wanted to participate in the program so that I could gauge their viability as potential husbands.
“When will we get to see Darcy and Magnolia?” I asked, this time to the warden. My heart lurched when I saw that his searing orange eyes had never left me.
“Darcy and Fallon’s ranch is more than half a day’s ride from here,” Warden Tenn replied. “Magnolia and Garrek are currently staying at Oaken’s property, which is many days’ journey by shuldu. Faster if we took my slicer, but even so, you won’t be seeing her today.”
“I won’t?!” Oh, God. The sweaty palms were back with a vengeance. “But my shuttle is supposed to take me back to Elora Station later tonight!”
I turned around to look at it, a part of me afraid it had already left without me. I’d worked my ass off to finally get a job – and build a life – aboard the glittering commerce hub that was EloraStation. Getting abandoned planet-side, even if it wasn’t the dreary, smog-choked Terratribe I of my youth, made me feel like I was going to puke.
The shuttle was still there. Thank goodness.
“Tonight?”
I flinched at the smoky, barely-contained rage held in that single word. When I turned around to face the warden once more, his face was a violet mask of fury. His eyes glared and went briefly white beneath the shadowy brim of his hat.
“You mean to tell me that you were going to make your judgments – judgments that will impact the potential futures and happiness of two of my men, and the men under my fellow wardens in the other provinces – in less thanone day?”
“I was planning to gather information and make my notes over the course of one day, yes. Then, I was going to go back and-”
“No.”
“No?” I sputtered, gawking at him. He may have been a warden, but he sure as shit was not the boss of me. “What do you mean, ‘no?’”
“I mean, that’s not good enough.” He raised his hard chin and squared his huge shoulders, looking every bit the male who could keep a bunch of convicted murderers in check with nothing more than a flick of his pale purple tail. “You need to do better than that.”
My stomach flashed cold at the same time my cheeks went hot. I’d only just arrived, and somehow Warden Tenn had managed to strike me smack dab in the middle of my biggest, squishiest insecurity. The fear that I wasn’t doing a good job. That I was failing, not only myself, but others, too. My ex’s voice, from when I’d first shyly told him I was applying to the liaison position on Elora Station, clanged inside my head.You think you can do better than this?
And then, when I broke up with him, the sneering,You think you can do better than me?
I was always trying to do better. Be better.
Even if, most of the time, I only ended up feeling like an imposter.
“My men,” Warden Tenn continued, his growling tone leaving no room for opposition, “deserve better than that.”