Page 75 of Wanted By the Alien Warden

I attempted to hold back a snort. Warden Hallum betrayed no emotion on his face, but the muscles in his cheeks and jaw looked tight.

His mouth opened, and I assumed he was about to reprimand the three tuxedo-clad alien cowboys before me, when Rivven spoke, bringing him up short.

“It’s called the Heimlich,” he said. “If a human is choking, you perform the Heimlich manoeuvre to dislodge the food and help her breathe.”

“Oh. Right,” Xennet said. “I would like to change my answer, Tasha. If my human is choking, I will do the lick manoeuvre instead.”

“We will review that chapter,” Warden Hallum growled, pinning Xennet with a pointed gaze. “Please continue, Tasha.”

“Thanks. Alright. Let’s see… If your wife was upset, or exhibiting some sort of anxiety or emotional distress, what are some things that you could do to help?”

All three of them remained silent for a good, long while. This was a bit of a tough one, I had to admit. Before I’d arrived this morning, these guys had never even met a human woman. Comforting women could be hard even for men who’d spent their entire lives around us.

Finally, it was Dorn who ventured forth with his answer first.

“I could… feed her?”

“Good!” I said, nodding. He visibly brightened at my praise.

“Pet her!” Xennet cried, apparently not one to be outdone.

“I… I suppose. You mean like a massage?” I asked. “Physical touch can be quite calming. It helps release the bonding hormone oxytocin.”

Tenn shifted behind me, making the wooden floorboards creak. I could have sworn I felt some part of him brush the back of my neck.

“I would feed her and then pet her,” Xennet said, padding his answer.

“You can’t steal my idea,” Dorn grumbled.

Feed her… Pet her…

Hold on.

Were they talking about how to calm a human, or a freaking shuldu?

“Rivven?” I asked, suppressing a sigh. “What are your thoughts?”

He rubbed the blunt end of his right wrist with the clawed fingers of his left hand, hesitated, then haltingly said, “I would try to find out why she was upset.”

“Very good,” I said, impressed. “And then?”

“And then I’d fix it.”

OK. I like Rivven.

“I would also do that!” Dorn said quickly. “After feeding her.”

“I thought you said we couldn’t steal each other’s ideas?” Xennet hissed.

“This is not stealing,” Dorn scoffed. “This is merely… resource sharing.”

“Brainstorming?” I suggested.

“There are no storms in my brain,” Xennet exclaimed, looking rather offended. “I assure you that my brain is very calm! Very normal!”

Yes… Clearly…

“What would you do,” came the unexpected rumble of Tenn’s voice from behind me, “if you found your female in a thorny bramble bush?”

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