Page 39 of Married to the Alien Mountain Man

Lala said nothing as I did this. But I got the sense that she was watching me the entire time. Supervising me, perhaps.

“Thank you for your assistance,” I said sincerely. Already, I felt better about everything, knowing Jaya’s feet were clean and cared-for.

“You are welcome. But I am merely fulfilling my core programming.”

“Which is?”

“To do everything in my power to ensure the health and happiness of theLavariya’spilot.”

“An excellent goal,” I replied warmly. “This is a goal we have in common.”

“I am aware.”

It should have been alarming, how perceptive this bizarre metal ball-on-legs was. But instead, I found it comforting. It was good to know that someone else recognized that I had Jaya’s best interests at heart. Even if Jaya herself didn’t recognize it yet.

“How do you know?” I asked her. “How can you tell?”

“I can tell,” she replied, “because I am constantly running millions of calculations about everything I encounter, each one with the primary purpose of ensuring Jaya’s wellness. Right now, you are one of the most significant new factors in her environment. As such, you can be either extremely beneficial or absolutely detrimental to my goal. Ceaselessly, I compare every facet of your behaviour against billions of data points, weighing precedents against possibilities, determining probabilities and patterns and risk. Everything I have observed thus far has led me to conclude that your desire to protect Jaya is closely aligned with my own.”

I thought she was finished, but after a pause, she abruptly added, “And I like that you gave her your socks.”

Without another word, she scuttled back up Jaya’s leg where it lay beneath the blanket, and disappeared.

17

JAYA

Iwoke up in a bed I’d never slept in before, tucked in with a blanket that I recognized. It was Oaken’s blanket, which led me to believe that this was Oaken’s bed, something confirmed when I opened my eyes and saw the walls of the bedroom in his cabin. I snuggled down, enjoying the feel of his blanket around me. The buttery leather was already comfortingly familiar against my cheek, bringing back memories of last night.

The most important memories from last night should have revolved around theLavariya.I should have been going over what went wrong so I could do better today. I should have been using every ounce of mental energy planning my journey back to her so I could start my repairs before the sonic recalibrater got delivered.

Well, that wasn’t happening. Instead, all my dumbass brain wanted to focus on was the part where Oaken had whisked me up into his arms and apparently carried me all the way home. And then, my dumbass hormones decided to join the party, and I lay there for far too long feeling positively loopy with the stupidest sort of happiness possible.

Holy fucking Terra.

Did I have a crush on my husband?

My alien mountain man cowboy convict husband?

Myfakehusband?!

No. Impossible. This didn’t happen. I didn’t get crushes! I hooked up with guys on my travels when I was bored or horny or both, and then I promptly forgot them. I certainly didn’t lie around mooning because some big, buff dude had carried me somewhere when my tootsies were sore!

Speaking of sore tootsies…

I wiggled my toes, pleased to see that I hadn’t slept in my boots. My ridiculous hormones were apparently pleased by that, too, because I experienced a gush of giddiness when I realized that Oaken must have been the one to have helped with that. The rest of my clothes were on, so he clearly hadn’t tried anything inappropriate. Just took my boots off for me, like the very good husband he apparently was.

I should take a look at those blisters…

I tossed off the blanket, the room already hot with the day’s sun pouring in the window. I bent my legs, bringing my feet up towards my butt. But then I stopped, confused.

These were not my socks.

“What the hell?”

I picked at the yarn of the cozy knitted garments, wracking my brain for any memory of changing my socks.

Nothing.

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