Page 9 of Married to the Alien Mountain Man

“She is human,” I said quickly, planting myself directly in front of the barrel of Warden Tenn’s stunner.

“Yes, I am human, if that means anything to you,” she called from behind me.

“The last human ship that landed here without permission did not do so with good intentions,” Warden Tenn growled.

The pilot snorted. “My only intention is fixing my ship and getting out of here as quickly as possible. I can promise you that.”

“She is telling the truth,” I said, as if I could possibly know such a thing. I didn’t even know what the warden was referencing when he spoke of the last human ship to land here without permission. “I saw her opening panels in her vessel to examine the parts inside.”

“My sonic recalibrater’s toast,” the pilot said. “If you’ve got one on-world, I’d happily buy it from you. Or trade, if that interests you.”

“See? There is nothing to fear from her!” I exclaimed. “She merely wants some toast!”

“We don’t have anything like that here,” Warden Tenn told her, ignoring me.

“I have bread at home,” I offered immediately. “I could make her some toast!”

Warden Tenn’s eyes were still on the pilot behind me, but for a brief moment they flicked to my bleeding forehead.

“What happened to your face?”

“I got in the way of a projectile.”

His gaze narrowed.

“What kind of projectile?”

“Did I say projectile?” I wiped blood from my right eye. “I meant I tripped.”

The warden stared at me flatly for another moment, then sighed and said, “Oaken. You are a terrible liar.”

I gave him a sheepish smile and flicked my tail. “Forgive me, Warden. It is not a skill I have ever needed to practise before.”

Another sigh, this one much heavier and wearier than the last, and then, “You’re forgiven.” His attention once again went beyond me to the pilot. “Are you alone?”

No answer. Perhaps she was afraid to let us know she was outnumbered.

It made something inside me squeeze.

“She is not alone,” I said. “Because she is with me.”

This must have put her at least somewhat at ease, because after another short moment’s hesitation, she said, “It’s just me and my ship’s bot, Lala. She doesn’t have any weapons capabilities. And neither does the ship.”

“So the weapon in your hand is the only one you have?”

“Yes,” she said. “Unless you count that hammer over there.”

She must have indicated it, because Warden Tenn appeared to now notice it where it lay.

He raised a white eyebrow at me. “I assume that’s what you ‘tripped’ on?”

I flicked my tail again in a noncommittal sort of motion. “Perhaps...”

“Alright, Oaken. You can move now. I promise I won’t stun her.” His voice went low and wry. “But in case I’m making a terrible judgment call, if she decides to shoot me instead, I’m going to need you to subdue her while I’m down.”

Before I could respond to that command, Warden Tenn stepped around me and lowered his stunner.

“I need you to put down your weapon,” Warden Tenn said, a little more gently this time. He kept his own stunner lowered at his side as he slowly approached the pilot. “We are not generally hostile to humans here. In fact, I’m married to one. But this isn’t a normal planet that you’ve landed on, and in this province, my word is law.”

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