Page 36 of Wicked Surrender

Yet, something held me back.

When I almost pressed the button to share the video, I couldn’t dismiss the memory of her breathy exhales when I got in her space, the almost nervous desire that she tried to hide when I talked about touching her and asking her about when she’d come before.

I… wanted her. As bizarre of a twist as this was, I had no clue how to justify this desire at all. Fucking the good girls was my “thing”. I made a hobby of it. But when it came to Laura…

I swallowed hard as I got out of my car in a crappy part of town further from the campus.

When it came to wanting Laura, I couldn’t forgive myself.

She was the target of pain, pain I wanted to inflict because her father had ruined my brother’s life.

How could I want her, to surprise her and make her come for me in the ultimate ruin of her good-girl image, when I was supposed to be making her suffer?

It wasn’t fair to my brother to want the enemy.

And that was why I came to visit him down in the hood.

William didn’t call or text often anymore, needing to use his money and phone minutes for “work” instead of staying in touch with me, but I always knew I could get ahold of him around here. This corner near the abandoned post office was where he said a lot of dealers came to do business.

Sure enough, he was there.

His hair was longer and shaggier than the last time I saw him, a couple of months ago. Pale and gaunt, he looked sicker and thinner. Unhealthy.

I tried not to react to the shock of how poorly he looked since earlier in the spring, but it was disheartening to witness the toil of a hard life on him. He used to be like me, if not as popular. Fit and of a normal body weight. Dressed well and showered.

William was still a Reeves, but he behaved like a bum, so far beneath what we had been raised with. Not a single trapping of wealth showed on him, but his eyes lit up with surprise when he spotted me.

“Hey! Jason.” He opened his arms to hug me, and I had to hold in my breath at the stink that wafted off him.

Fuck.He said he wasn’t homeless the last time we spoke. Maybe he still had a place at his buddy’s apartment, but sharing that small unit with so many other guys—fellow dealers—had to resemble a homeless shelter more than a home.

“Hey, Brother.”

I gritted my teeth to brace myself for facing him fully as he released me.

“How’s it going?” he asked, swapping a wad of chew in his cheek.

When the fuck did that start?I couldn’t ask. He’d get defensive if I pried. But I worried all the same.

“It’s going,” I replied, unsure what to tell him.

William spiraled fast after his time in college, which was cut way too short. All thanks to fucking Dean Chen, William only lasted one semester in college, at the same frat house I’d later be the president of. I’d only been a starting member when William came to college, but he didn’t stick around.

Dean Chen showed no mercy, no forgiveness, when a few other students accused William of cheating. The details varied according to who was asked, but it was more than his peeking at another student’s test for answers. It was a whole sting operation put on by the university, an in-depth scandal that rocked the whole campus.

The bottom line that I cared about was that Dean Chen was the key perpetrator in expelling my younger brother. Without representation or a lawyer, sans a proper investigation, and not even giving him a chance to answer for himself, he was gone.

Out.

Expelled.

Banned.

Just like that, Dean Chen ruined his life and cut his future too fucking short.

My parents hadn’t been very forgiving either, refusing to fight for him because that was when they were considering running for office. When William was kicked out, my father had just started to express his interest in joining the politics in our state. He and my mother were gone at dinner parties and rubbing elbows with other influential assholes and donors.

They hadn’t cared about William’s leaving. They didn’t bother to help him afterward. Because the news of the cheating scandal had gone big and they didn’t want bad press, they cut him off completely, wanting no stains ontheirnames.

---