Page 8 of Wicked Surrender

I glanced at my phone as a text came in.

Please, no more.Ethan had been texting me the stupidest, lamest things all day, like how I was doing with a project that had been done months ago, and what I thought of his outfit for the day, whether it looked “professional” enough.

Instead, it was my dad.

Dad:Please come to my office during your break after your next class.

Huh.That was weird. He never wanted to associate with me on campus, ever aware of people claiming he was giving me special treatment as a family member.

“Laura?” Kristin wasn’t giving up. “What’s got you looking so moody?”

I shook my head. “It’s nothing.” My secret wish to change my major was a big something, but I wasn’t ready to tell her about it. I wasn’t at the point to admit that desire to anyone, fearful of the backlash I’d get from my parents. It would be an unforgivable ask according to them. My father wouldn’t hear of it.

“Come on. Tell me. What are friends for?” she asked.

I sighed, knowing she cared too much to let it go. Besides, she wouldn’t judge. She’d changed her major four times already and didn’t care who thought it was silly of her. I wondered if she realized how lucky she was to not have to measure up to her parents’ expectations.

“Um…” I couldn’t tell her my secret wish to switch to bioengineering, no matter how she would keep it confidential. I didn’t trust voicing it at all and putting it out there. Because it wouldn’t happen. “I had another family dinner last week,” I said instead.

“Yeah. I bet it sucked like usual. They’ve never gotten you down this much for so long before, though.”

I nodded. “I just hate the expectation that I have to follow after Mai’s success.” Adding a shrug, I hoped she’d accept that and let it go.

She didn’t.

Shaking her head, she narrowed her eyes. “No, that’s not it. Youalwayshate that.”

I did.

“This is something else. Something’s bothering you besides that. I can tell. You’re acting… off.”

I sighed, still reluctant to tell her my secret about wanting to switch majors. She was correct, though, so used to me that she really could tell when I wasn’t being myself.

“Okay.” I set my pen down and gave her my full attention. “I’ve been annoyed with Ethan lately.”

She laughed lightly. “Again, nothing new.”

“I’ve been more annoyed than usual,” I said. It wasn’t a case of jealousy. I wasn’t cool toward my boyfriend because I saw how well Mai and Mark were getting along. “It’s bothering me more than usual that I’m wasting so much time with him.”

She raised her brows and tucked a curly strand of brown back.

“I’ve been debating breaking up with him because it’s just not going anywhere.” I felt so much lighter saying that out loud, even if it was just to her.

She smiled and laughed once. “Of course, it’s not going anywhere. It’s Ethan.”

I cringed. “Isn’t that pathetic?”

She lightened up, not teasing but matter of fact about it. “Laura,” she scolded. “He’spathetic. You knew that when your dad made you meet him.”

“No. That just meansI’mpathetic. Pathetic to be this much of a pushover to agree to date a guy I’ve never even been interested in.”

She shrugged. “Hey, we both know the force of nature between you and your parents’ expectations is something that will never be scientifically understood.”

I sighed again.

“But it’s a waste of my energy to pretend I care about ‘being’ with him. Especially with it never going anywhere worthwhile.” I was one second away from telling her that I was motivated to break up with him now, well before the summer, so he couldn’t try to push for a more pathetic and boring long-distance thing.

“Yeah. It’s going nowhere because it’s Ethan.” She’d never hesitated to tell me what she thought of him. “But also because it’s just a college thing.” She shrugged. “It’s not supposed to last.”

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