Page 39 of Cruel Alpha

I must have been the color of a tomato as my gaze flickered over to the kitchen counter, and Julia’s jaw dropped. Setting her wine down on the coffee table, she leaned forward, placing her hands on my knees.

“Alys. Alys, look at me. I’m being so serious right now,” she said. “Did you. Have sex. With my brother. In my kitchen?”

Not wanting to lie to her, I nodded. Julia’s face cycled through the five stages of grief at an impressively rapid pace before she picked up her wine again, taking a large sip.

“You’re a terrible house guest,” she said.

“I know,” I said. “I cleaned it really well afterward, I promise.”

Julia grumbled.

“Well, at least that’s something.”

A comfortable silence descended as we each took another sip of wine. I felt another rush of gratitude for this little space and the warmth of Julia’s friendship.

“So, if he apologized and the two of you kissed and made up,” Julia said with a wince, “why hasn’t he been hanging around since then? And why was he leaving today like his ass was on fire?”

That was the real question, wasn’t it? I didn’t know if Julia would understand, but if anyone was going to, it would be her.

“I told him I needed some time,” I said. “I don’t exactly regret what happened after he found out, but—it all happened so fast, and I think it’s going to take more than that apology for me to really trust him. I know he’s changed since we were teenagers, but it’s so hard to reconcile these two versions of him. I’ve been on my own for three years, and in that time, I’ve tried to focus on the positives: I was independent, I wasn’t beholden to a mate or to a Pack or to rank. If I’m going to give all that up for the rest of my life, I need to know that it’s going to be worth it. He hasn’t even mentioned publicly claiming us.”

Perhaps it was stupid after everything he’d promised me, but I couldn’t help worrying that he never meant to claim us at all. I no longer doubted that he wanted me, but did he only want me in secret?

“Don’t be too hard on him about that,” Julia said, reaching out to squeeze my hand. “Things in the Pack right now are pretty fractious. I’m sure he wants to claim you—all three of you—but it might only put you in more danger.”

“Wouldn’t it be the opposite?” I asked. “Surely, if we were the Alpha’s mate and his heirs, then people would think of us differently.”

Julia shrugged.

“Some of them, sure. Others… people like Leonard Pearce and his goons, would say that yourweakness—” I could hear the air quotes she put around the word “—reflects on Cal. A strong Alpha would have a strong mate. The last thing he needs right now is for someone to challenge his position.”

It made sense. Everything about the Caleb I knew now pointed to it being true, but there was still part of me—that hurt, terrified teenager who had to face the world alone—that refused to acknowledge we were safe in his hands.

For now, though, I had the twins and Julia and this warm little cottage, and for the first time in a long time, I began to think that maybe, just maybe, everything would be alright.

Chapter 18 - Caleb

Three days. It had been three days since I’d last seen Alyssa—five days since I’d last touched her—and it was driving me crazy. As ridiculous as it was, I was more agitated by these few days than I had been in the three years that she’d been on Arbor. Maybe it was knowing she was close but still out of my reach. Maybe it was the double blow of separation from my mateandmy pups. Either way, my Betas cowered away when I entered a room, afraid of when I would snap next. They deserved better from me, but I was too strung out to keep my wolf contained. He was snarling and snapping inside me, furious at being kept away from his mate. He didn’t understand that this was our own fault, and we simply had to bear it until she came back to us.

In the meantime, I could only content myself with flipping through the battered album she had given me. Alyssa herself wasn’t in any of the pictures, but I could feel her presence in every image, the twins’ eyes wide with adoration as they looked at their mother behind the camera. On occasion, I tortured myself by imagining how things could have been; she could have held them in her lap, all three of them smiling at a camera that I held; I could have laughed as I caught her snapping an image of me playing with the pair of them.

That wasn’t reality, though, only a dream where I was a better man.

In reality, I had to wait. I patrolled the island perimeter; I ordered food and coal and everything the Pack needed; I took out my burning frustration on the sandbags in the gym above the hall.

On the evening of the third day, I returned home to an ambush: Julia was reclined on my couch while Ethan sat on the loveseat, elbows resting on his knees. This was bad. If Julia was willing to call Ethan in as backup, then she was seriously worried.

It would have been nice if my little sister and my best friend could be in the same room together without trying to rip each other’s throats out at any given opportunity, but I had long resigned myself to the reality of it. Julia was irreverent and stubborn, and Ethan was serious and stubborn: they were never going to get along, but apparently, they’d come together this evening to tell me to pull my head out of my ass, which was embarrassing.

“This is an intervention,” Julia announced. “You’ve been absolutely insufferable since Alyssa cut you off.”

I knew it was true, but I wasn’t about to admit it when Julia was in full meddle mode.

“My wolf’s not happy about it,” I said. It was true enough, but all three of us knew there was more to it than that.

“I know you’ve got a better handle on him than this,” Ethan said. Despite being only three years my senior, he could really pull out the Dad Vibes when he wanted to. Maybe it was being an established Alpha since he was seventeen, or maybe it was just his personality. “Your sister says Alyssa doesn’t want to see you.”

“His sister has a name,” Julia grumbled. I knew it would only be a matter of time until they started sniping at each other, but I’d hoped I had a few more minutes at least.

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