Page 13 of Stay With Me

“I did something really stupid. I went out with Griffith to a party at his uncle’s lake house.”

“What?” I’m overwhelmed with a wave of confusion. “I thought you don’t talk to him anymore?”

Griffith is a perpetual partier that Teddy was friends with in high school and nothing good ever came of Teddy hanging out with him. Nothing.

I don’t like where this is going.

“I don’t. I mean, I didn’t. But I ran into him a few weeks ago and we’ve hung out a few times this summer.” He sighs deeply, then continues. “After the fight with my parents on Friday, I went to the party.” He stops in front of me and leans back on the porch railing, his gaze now fixed on me. “I’ve been drinking a lot when I’ve been with him, and Friday it went further. I’d had several drinks, and someone was offering us… They were offering us Molly.”

I don’t mean to, but I gasp.He wouldn’t, not after trying it that one time in high school. He just wouldn’t.

“D-did you take it?” I whisper.

Teddy casts his eyes down in shame. “I’m sorry, Em, but I did. I was desperate to feel happy and I took it.” He quickly adds, “The sadness has been so overwhelming lately. I tried to fight the impulse to do it, but I just couldn’t.”

I’m stunned speechless.

He got so ill when he took that in high school and swore he’d never try it again. He promised.

Teddy reaches over and grabs the arm of the other patio chair, pulling it into position in front of me, and he sits down so we’re facing each other, our knees touching. He takes both my hands in his.

I was wrong when I said it wasn’t too hot out here.

Suddenly, the air around me feels oppressively warm as I try to pull it into my lungs.

“That’s not all.” He hesitates, then clears his throat.

“What more could there possibly be, Teddy? You promised me you’d never mess with drugs again. You could have gotten hurt.” I fight back tears that threaten to spill over my eyelids.

“I was drunk and high—euphoric. Everyone was dancing, and we kept drinking. I was dancing with a girl, one of Griff’s friends, and the last thing I remember is…” He tightens his grip on my hands.

My heart pounds against my chest wall, like it’s trying to escape.

Don’t say it.

“The last thing I remember is us kissing. I’m not sure who started it, but I didn’t stop it.” His speech is so fast now, like he just needs to vomit this out and be done with it. “I woke up the next morning in a strange bed, with the girl. Without our clothes on.”

I rip my hands out of his and grip my head, pushing my fingertips into my skull, convinced this is a nightmare I have to wake myself up from. When that doesn’t work, I rock back and forth, trying to soothe the panic rising in my chest. The air surrounding me feels suffocating.

“Em… say something.” Teddy’s voice is soft, wary, like he’s talking to a frightened child.

He places his hands on my legs, just below where my shorts end, and his touch sears my skin.

Bile rises in my throat.

“No! Don’t touch me.” I propel my chair back, trying to get out of his reach. The visceral scraping of the metal legs against the wooden deck further pulling me from my shock. “No, no, no, no!”

I leap out of my seat.

“You cheated on me?” I hiss. “You fucking cheated on me after more than six years together, Teddy? Has this happened before?”

“What the hell? No. Of course not.” He has the audacity to act stunned and hurt by my question.

“Oh, I’m sorry. Did that hurt your feelings? You know what hurts my feelings? You fucking someone else! That’s what hurts me.” I’m screaming at him now and I don’t care who hears.

I walk back and forth across the porch while he stares at me.

“I can’t believe this. This can’t be happening,” I mutter to myself.

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