Page 20 of Stay With Me

“This isn’t a good idea,” he warns. Yet he doesn’t pull back.

Trying to control my breathing, which is erratic with him this close to me, I respond, “I think it’s a great idea.”

Then, acting braver than I feel, I slowly glide my tongue over his lower lip.

“Emily,” he groans.

I do it again and he loses control, just like I wanted him to.

His mouth claims mine, his tongue exploring me, tasting me. One strong hand cups my cheek while the other palms my waist, searing me with a delicious longing, tempting me to beg him to move it, to touch me in other places. We kiss like this for several blissful minutes.

He inches his hand up, under my sweatshirt, and as his thumb brushes the underside of my bra, I moan. “Charlie…”

He pulls back, like me saying his name delivered an electric shock, jolting him from the passionate moment we were sharing. Leaning forward, he kicks down the foot of the recliner and drops his shoulders, holding his head in his hands.

“Fuuuuuck. I’m so sorry, Emily. That was a huge mistake.”

I rear back, embarrassed, his words like a slap across the face.

“A mistake…” I whisper.

He sits upright and looks at me. “You’re not a mistake. But this was. This can’t happen. Trina will lose it and… and?—”

“Trina will be fine. And I’m an adult. I can make my own decisions.” I sit up straight, moving to the edge of the couch.

“No. You don’t understand. I’m not what you need. I’m not good for you.”

“Jesus.” I jump up, now irritated. “You don’t get to tell me what to need or want. You don’t decide those things for me. No one does.” I’m fighting mad, ready to go a few rounds with him over this ridiculousness. “I want this. I want you.”

Charlie stands now, too. His eyes are practically pleading with me. “Emily, you’re my best friend’s younger sister. And… and you just got out of a long relationship. You can’t possibly be ready for something else, and, even if you are, I’m not relationship material. And I’m sure not gonna use you for something that’s just physical.”

I glare at him, wondering how this afternoon went from so wonderful to total shit. And I’m tired. So, so tired. Tired of wondering how my relationship with Teddy got to the point it blew up like it did. Tired of trying to ignore a secret crush on my sister’s best friend. Tired of trying to figure out if I even know who I am anymore. It’s exhausting.

And now, on top of that, I’m humiliated.

“I’m going to lie down. Your shirt is in the dryer. You can let yourself out if you leave before Trina gets back.”

As I walk away, I force myself to keep an even pace when I want to run to my room before the tears come. Because I know they’re coming. When I get there, I shut and lock the door behind me, then let the floodgates open.

Ten minutes later, there’s a gentle knock on my bedroom door, followed by Charlie’s voice. “Em, can we please talk?”

I don’t answer.

“Please, sunshine…”

I still don’t answer.

A few minutes later, the rumble of his truck starting outside hums in the air. And I tuck myself further into my blankets and close my eyes. Determined to forget everyone and everything.

CHAPTER9

EMILY

As I sit in my parked car, I rest my head back on the headrest and close my eyes. My hands are shaking so badly that I slide them under my thighs to still the tremors rocking through me.

Why did I agree to do this? Am I a glutton for punishment?

The six weeks since Charlie and I kissed have been so incredibly awkward. He’s made a million excuses to limit his time at Trina’s house and when I know he’s coming over, I avoid being home. I think we both wanted to avoid discussing what happened between us. But three nights ago, on New Year’s Eve, I couldn’t skip the party Trina threw. And Charlie had to come because it was a combination New Year’s Eve and birthday party for him, since his birthday is January first.

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