Page 94 of Stay With Me

EMILY

It’s about six in the evening when my phone rings. I let it ring three times and then I decide that if I don’t pick it up, she’ll just find me another way.

“Hello?” I try to hide the sadness in my voice.

“Emily? Why aren’t you texting me back? I’ve sent you four messages.”

“Sorry. I’m fine,” I mutter, my voice a little shaky.

Trina pauses and I know that means she’s trying to discern if I’m really fine. It’s likely I’m not fooling her. Still, she doesn’t call me out on it right now.

“So, what have you and Charlie been doing with his time off this week?”

I’m confused and taken by surprise, not understanding what she’s talking about. Before I think better of it, the question slips from my mouth, “Charlie’s been missing work?”

There’s a pause on the other end of the line and I immediately realize my mistake.

“Why don’t you know that Charlie hasn’t been at work? You’ve been staying with him.”

I hesitate to answer, gnawing at my lower lip. I know this is going to open a can of worms I’m not sure I’m ready to have opened. But I know my sister and she won’t let this go. Not when it concerns me.

“I moved out last week.” I want to make my voice sound cheerful, but I just can’t force it and fail.

“What do you mean you moved out of Charlie’s? And why is this the first time I’m hearing of it? From either of you.” I hesitate, trying to figure out how to word things. “Emily, talk to me.”

“I moved out. It was time. I’m renting a short-term Airbnb downtown. There’s lots of people around and you don’t need to worry about me.”

“Send me the address.”

It’s not a request, it’s basically an order. Sometimes I swear my sister forgets that she’s not at work and I’m not one of her firefighters. Yet I know it comes from a place of love, so I don’t hold it against her.

“Trina, you can’t just be out and about when it’s getting late. What about the creeper?”

“It’s fine. There’s been no contact, no messages since the day before Ben and I came to your house. I’m thinking maybe he was just a drifter. Ben’s still crazy, but I think it’s okay. Now tell me the address.”

I sigh. “89 Main Street,” I say. “I’m fine, though. You don’t have to come.”

“I’ll be there in fifteen minutes. Bye.”

When she arrives, all it takes is one look from her, and my tears fall.How do I have any left? I thought I cried myself dry over this week.

I’ve never been able to hide my feelings from my sister. She knows me like the back of her hand.

Trina pulls me into one of her hugs; she gives the best hugs. It’s too bad she doles them out so infrequently because I know from experience how comforting they are. God knows, she had to hold me enough last year when Teddy died.

To her credit, she doesn’t ask me to tell her anything right away. She just guides me to the couch, sits down next to me, and lets me cry on her shoulder. When I get the courage to look at her face, the corners of her mouth curve downward in a concerned frown, her bright blue eyes are focused on me, as if they’re searching my face for any clues to what happened.

“Are you ready to talk about it now?” Her voice is soft and kind.

This is the side of her that very few people get to see. Trina had to grow up way too fast and take care of a younger sister, to boot. I don’t think she ever had time to really feel her feelings, to be loved unconditionally as a child like she did for me. To have someone else make her feel like it’s okay to not always have it together.

“Do you want to go sit on the balcony and have a glass of wine?” I ask. Imightbe stalling.

A few minutes later, we each have a glass of chardonnay and we’re sitting on the two rockers that were provided with the Airbnb. It’s a warm, late August night, nearly September, so it’s not near as hot as it has been.

Dusk is settling outside, and I can see fireflies with their glowing butts dotting the air. It makes me feel just a tiny ounce of happiness in a week that’s otherwise contained a lot of sadness and pain.

“I’m glad to see that you’re in a second story unit. It makes me feel better about you being here alone. And the parking area seems well lit.”

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