Page 16 of Stay With Me

“Geez, something smells amazing.” Charlie plants himself in one of the tall chairs at the large island in Trina’s kitchen.

“It’s chicken piccata and garlic bread. You hungry? I made plenty if you want to stay for dinner.”

Charlie smiles. “Well, I was coming to see if you wanted to order a pizza with me so I’d have company during dinner, but this seems like a much better option.” He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath in through his nose, then a wide smile spreads across his face. When he opens his eyes, he asks, “Anything I can do to help?”

I can’t stop myself from laughing out loud at that. “No, thanks. I won’t soon forget the debacles you and Trina have made the couple of times you two have tried to cook meals here for us. You guys ruined several good pans and, no offense, the end-product was barely edible.” He grins, under no illusion that he knows his way around a kitchen. “But seriously, I’ve got it covered. And cooking… It relaxes me and helps me destress. Just grab yourself a drink and keep me company.”

As I’m preparing the sauce, several long moments pass in silence between us.

Finally, Charlie clears his throat. A sign I’ve learned over the years that he’s about to say something that makes him uncomfortable. Charlie’s a man of few words anyway, but add in emotional or sensitive topics and sometimes I swear he visibly squirms.

“So, speaking of stress… How are you doing with everything? You’ve had a lot of changes and started a new job all in a few months.”

I lower the heat under the sauce so it can simmer, and I turn to face him. His elbows rest on the island and he has head propped up in his hand. His striking hazel eyes are intensely focused on me as he waits for an answer.

“The job is great. I feel like I’m getting my rhythm for how I want to run my classroom. And the kids are damn adorable. We had an open house last evening, and they were so cute and excited to show their parents their desks and artwork. I’m so lucky the timing for me getting this position worked out.”

“I’m not sure it had anything to do with beinglucky.Don’t sell yourself short.”

I don’t mean to, but I snort.

“Hey, I’m serious. The school district is fortunate to have you.”

He looks down at the island, lifts his soda, and takes a sip. I watch him as he rubs his big hand over his beard and his brow furrows. Then he looks up at me and I swallow a lump in my throat as his eyes meet mine.

His voice is quiet, almost rough, when he speaks. “How are you doing about everything else?”

I hold his gaze for a few seconds, then turn back to the sauce and stir it.

“I’m okay, Charlie. I know Trina’s worried about me and has you checking up on me, but you can tell her I’m fine. I’m”—I pause and take a deep breath—“I’m okay. And as painful as it’s all been, I’m finding a bit of myself that I think I lost for a while. Not every woman dates the same man from sixteen years old until she’s twenty-two. I’m learning who I am as an individual, not just part of a couple. So, that’s probably a good thing.”

When I place the wooden spoon in the spoon rest and turn back around, Charlie is standing. And he’s staring at me. Silently, he moves around the island until he’s in front of me. We awkwardly stare at each other for several long seconds until he pulls me against his chest. I audibly gasp. I’ve known Charlie for four years and he’sneverhugged me—I’ve always been the initiator the few times we hugged. And his hug is amazing, like being wrapped in a warm, weighted blanket that smells like strength and security, if those things had a smell.

Get a grip. It’s just a hug.

Charlie puts his chin on top of my head and his voice is rough when he speaks. “First of all, I’m not checking in on you for Trina. Well, not just for Trina. I’m checking in because you’re my friend and I care about you. Second, I’m glad you’re finding yourself, sunshine. Because you’re an amazing woman and you’re meant to shine, not be eclipsed.”

I’m at a loss for words, both shocked and thrilled at Charlie’s brief speech to me. I don’t move an inch, not wanting this moment to end. Eventually, he kisses the top of my head and pulls away from the hug, then steps back and puts his hands in his pockets, tilting back on his heels and turning his eyes downward.

I take pity on him and his obvious discomfort with the emotion in what we just shared and change the subject. “The food’s just about ready. Can you grab some plates, and we’ll eat?”

Charlie nods and makes his way to the cupboard where Trina keeps her plates, pulling down two. A few minutes later, I’ve plated our food and we’re sitting outside at the table on the patio since we want to take advantage of the last few gorgeous fall days. It’s a little chilly, but a sweater suffices to keep me warm.

After we eat, Charlie gestures over to Trina’s wood pile. “Do you want me to build you a fire inside before I head home? I think the temperature is supposed to drop over the next few hours.”

“Ooh, that would be great. You know Trina doesn’t want me messing with the fireplace after I forgot to open the flue last winter. She said the house smelled like smoke for weeks.”

Charlie chuckles and a smile breaks out across his face. “Oh, I remember. And the smell did last for a really long time.”

A half hour later, Charlie has a roaring fire going and I walk him to the door.

“Bye, Em. See you soon, okay?”

I nod and he turns to leave.

“Hey, Charlie?” He stops and looks over his shoulder, meeting my eyes. “Thank you,” I whisper. “You’re a good man. A really good man.” My voice is soft, and I hold his gaze as I speak.

He smiles at me, but there’s disbelief in his eyes and he subtly shakes his head. And he walks away, leaving me staring after him, confused about the sad smile and why Charlie would ever think he’s not a good man.

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