Page 50 of Stay With Me

“What am I missing here?”

She giggles. “They work for free, becausetheyare Trina, Shayna, and you. It’s part of my trauma therapy.”

I can feel my eyebrows squish together in confusion, and Emily grins then takes her index finger and aggressively uses it to smooth the area between my brows.

“A resource team is a group of people who make someone feel… positive things. They help someone deal with trauma triggers when they occur.”

“A-and I’m on your t-team?” I hate that my stutter returns, but it’s been a long time since I felt this nervous asking a question.What could I possibly offer a woman like Emily to warrant me a spot on her resource team?

Emily takes a few seconds and looks down at the couch cushion, picking at an imaginary piece of lint. Her cheeks fill with a rosy hue. When she looks up at me again, all playfulness is gone and her eyes are soft, her eye contact with me steady.

“Charlie, of course you’re on my team. You make me feel safe and protected. You always have. And, no matter what I do, you always see the best in me. I feel like I’m my best self, my brightest self, when I’m around you. I-I like who I am when I’m with you.”

We stare at each other for a moment, and I lean forward. Placing a hand on each of her cheeks, I kiss her forehead.

Not removing my lips from her forehead, I whisper, “First of all, going back to what you said earlier, there is nothing wrong with you. Not a damn thing. And, what’s not to like, Em? You’re the sun shining into a world that can be pretty fucking dark and gloomy sometimes. I’m just glad you’re starting to see yourself like I’ve always seen you.”

CHAPTER20

EMILY

As Charlie and I stand at the back of his pickup truck and eye our haul, anxiety rises in my chest. We have several gallons of paint, boxes and boxes of tile, and luxury vinyl flooring—so much flooring.

“Oh my God, Charlie. This is a mistake.” I’m still staring at the overwhelming amount of supplies we just bought to update my townhouse before I put it on the market, but I sense him turning his head to look at me.

“What’s a mistake? Are you having second thoughts about selling?”

I face him. “What? Oh, no, I’m definitely still selling. I just mean all the updating. I can’t ask you to do all this work. It didn’t strike me just how much work painting, replacing tiling in the guest bathroom, and updating the flooring is until I saw all this packed in your truck. Maybe we should return it and I’ll just sell it as is.”

I’m not a nail biter, but I can’t stop myself from nibbling on my thumbnail as I briefly glance in the truck bed once more before meeting his gaze again.

Charlie places a hand on each of my shoulders and it’s comforting, grounding.

“First of all, you’re notmakingme do anything. I’m doing it because I want to. And it’s not like you’re going to be eating bon-bons and watching me—you’re helping, too. And second, it’ll help your place stand out from others in the neighborhood for sale and bring you a better price.”

I look down at the ground, running the toe of my shoe over the pavement.

“Will you at least let me pay you?”

He drops his hands from my shoulders, and I continue to stare at the ground like the shades of gray in the blacktop parking lot are the most interesting thing I’ve ever seen.

Charlie says nothing for several long seconds and the silence makes me nervous. I risk a peek up at his face and I frown. His hazel eyes are piercing mine and his expression is flat, not even a hint of a smile.

His voice is deathly quiet. “Do you really think I’d take money to help you?”

“No, not really. But I already feel bad enough that I’m monopolizing all of your free time since we’re hanging out so much now. And I’m probably totally destroying your love life. I’m sure any potential girlfriends really love the idea of you spending so much time with me and doing so much for me. It’s probably?—”

“Emily, stop. If you’re monopolizing my time, then I’m doing the same to yours. I’m exactly where I want to be and doing what I want to be doing. And you’re who I want to be doing it with. Understand?”

My vision blurs as my eyes fill with tears. I’m certain they’ll fall if I speak, so I just nod. Charlie isn’t fooled though. The way he’s looking at my eyes makes me think he can see right into my soul.

“Aw, sunshine,” he says, his voice soft. He reaches for me and tugs me into his chest, wrapping his comforting arms around me.

In the cool late March air, we stand here, neither of us moving. I’m scared. Scared of moving on from all the loss and pain of the last year. But I’m terrified not to. And so, I just need a moment, leaning into Charlie, to remind me that I’m not alone, that I’m safe and protected. I’m strong—I am—but I’m even stronger when I allow those who love me to support me.

“What do you say we go drop these supplies off in your garage and then we can go eat at Enzo’s Pizzeria? You can eat all the cheesy bread your heart desires.”

I chuckle against his chest, then pull back from the hug and peer into his eyes. “That sounds amazing. Let’s go.”

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