Page 68 of Stay With Me

I stand up and pull her into a hug and, God, it feels good to have things back to normal with us. Still embracing, she whispers, “Do you know this weekend would have been my first wedding anniversary?”

I squeeze her a little tighter. “Yeah. I know. I’m so sorry for how everything turned out. If I could take away all the pain of this last year for you, I would.”

She tightens her hold around my waist.

“Will you stay with me tonight? I don’t want to be by myself.”

I can’t say no to her. And I really don’t want to. “Yeah. But I’m really gonna need you to put on some shorts. Please.”

Emily laughs against my chest. “Deal.”

Five minutes later, we’re in her bed, me in my boxers and T-shirt and her, thankfully, with some shorts added to her ensemble. I lie on my back, and she snuggles into my side, resting her head on my chest. I reach over and turn off the light.

A few minutes go by and I’m sure she’s fallen asleep by the rhythm of her breathing—steady and relaxed—but she surprises me when she whispers. “I missed you these last few weeks.”

I tilt my head down and place a kiss on her hair. “I missed you, too.”

CHAPTER26

EMILY

The three weeks since the bachelor and bachelorette parties have flown by, filled with open houses and private viewings on my house, house hunting for a new home to live in, and helping Annie with final wedding preparations. I swear if I never see another wedding favor again, it will be too soon.

I’m not complaining, though. Being busy has helped me get out of the mini funk I was in as what would have been my one-year wedding anniversary passed. And spending time with Annie and her wedding party has actually been a blast and an excellent distraction.

Now, seated at the bridal party table, full after a delectable reception dinner, my mind drifts as Janie stands to give her maid of honor speech. Annie and Jack can’t seem to stop smiling at each other and the warmth and love radiating off them is intoxicating.

As I look down the table, Ben, Jack’s best man, is laughing at something Janie just said. Something makes me glance over at the table Trina is sitting at and I catch her watching him. Almost like she can sense me looking at her, she turns and glances at me, a tight, forced smile on her lips, then turns her attention back to Janie. Janie finishes her speech and Ben stands to give his.

My eyes drift to Charlie. My partner for the wedding. He’s watching Ben, who is now giving his best man speech and has the crowd roaring with laughter. Always a bit quieter and more reserved, it’s good to see Charlie vigorously laughing as Ben tells embarrassing stories about Jack from when they were growing up.

This man has always been my friend. Even when there was some emotional distance between us, I never doubted he’d be there for me if I needed him. Like on my wedding day when he stepped in and walked me down the aisle. But now, as I fix my gaze on him, I realize he’s become one of mybestfriends over the last several months.

No one could ever replace Shayna as my absolute bestie, but her life is changing, too. She’s got Finn now, and their love and friendship are beautiful things to observe. Watching her and Finn as they’ve fallen in love—despite a very rough start—has been inspiring. It’s one of the things that has given me hope I can still experience great love even after loss.

Charlie gives me that hope, too.

The uninvited thought comes to the forefront of my mind, and I swallow the lump in my throat and force myself to shift my attention back to Ben. My eyes fixate on Ben, but my thoughts do not. I’m transported back to a conversation with my therapist, Annette, from the fall, when we were talking about my resource team for handling traumatic memories, and I told her why I put Charlie on it.

“Em, c’mon. It’s time for the bridal dance.” Shayna pulls me from my daydream, tugging on my hand. I’m startled, and it must show on my face, because her eyebrows draw close to each other and she bends down, peering into my face. “Are you okay?”

I push the thoughts out of my head and force a smile. “Yeah, of course. Sorry.”

I stand and follow Shayna, her still holding my hand protectively, and she leads me off the stage to where the bridal party is standing, waiting for Annie and Jack’s first dance and the bridal party dance that will follow. She walks past Lincoln, her escort, and basically delivers me to Charlie.

When I look over at her, I catch her giving Charlie a look that says,‘Something’s wrong with her. Take care of her.’She’s so protective and I love her for it. I peek up at Charlie’s face and his eyes are narrowed, the corners of his mouth tugging down.

“Guys, I’m fine,” I whisper. Shayna searches my face, and apparently, she’s satisfied that I won’t have a breakdown in the middle of the wedding reception. She squeezes my hand, releases it, and walks over to Lincoln.

Charlie places his hand ever so lightly on the small of my back and I lean into it and take a step closer to him.

When Annie and Jack start their first dance, I’m overwhelmed by the look on their faces as they gaze at each other. It’s like no one else is in the room.

As I look again at all my friends here, my sister, and the Donley’s—my surrogate family—it strikes me that everyone I love most dearly is in this reception hall tonight. And that thought fills me with happiness and peace.

These are my people. They’re my chosen family.

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