Page 91 of Stay With Me

“Okay,” my mom whispers.

I spend the next five minutes repairing the cut, then put some antibiotic ointment on it.

“Thanks, honey. I’m sorry I got you into this.”

I take my mom’s good hand in both of mine. “No, Mom. I’m the one who’s sorry. I didn’t mean to lose control and make everything worse. But I’m so afraid he’s gonna seriously hurt you one of these days and I won’t get here in time, or I won’t be able to fix it.” I pause and look down, embarrassed by the mist forming in my eyes. “Would you think about leaving and coming to stay with me?”

I already know the answer. I’ve asked more times than I can count.

“He’s my husband, Charlie. This is where I belong. It’s my home.”

I nod, lean in and kiss her forehead, then stand up and clear my throat. “I should probably go before he gets back. I’ll put this back in its hiding spot.” I glance at Emily for the first time since she told me she was afraid of me. “Would you please wait for me in the truck?”

Emily nods and I head back to the bathroom to hide my emergency kit behind the cleaning supplies, where he’ll never find it. Five minutes later, I climb into the cab of my truck and turn toward Emily, though I can’t bring myself to look her in the eye. “Would you be okay if we just go home?”

“Of course. We can go to Meadow Creek anytime.” She grabs my hand and gives it a squeeze. And it makes me feel like a world class jerk.

CHAPTER34

EMILY

It’s been two days since theincidentat Charlie’s parents’ house. I’m not sure how to help him, but I know he’s not okay. I tried to get him to talk to me about it that evening, but he asked to be alone, then spent hours at the lake before coming back to the house and falling asleep on the couch after I’d gone to bed. He was at work all day yesterday, so I had to sleep at Ben and Trina’s last night as we all agreed to. Therefore, I didn’t get to see him this morning.

I’ve been nauseous from nerves and I’m going to have to force Charlie to talk to me tonight. I’ve never seen him like this, and I can’t talk to anyone about it, seeing as how none of my friends or family know we’re together. Okay, that’s not true, I guess, since I have a video appointment with my therapist in ten minutes. I glance at the clock on my dash and grimace—I’m cutting it really close as I’m still seven minutes from Charlie’s house.

As I pull into the parking area in front of the house, I see Charlie thirty feet away, chopping wood. It’s still one of his sexiest looks—lumberjack Charlie. I know it’s a stress reliever for him but, my gosh, it’s eighty-seven degrees out. He’s going to get heat stroke if he’s not careful. I put the car in park, turn it off, and climb out. As I jog to the house, I give Charlie a quick wave before I hurry inside, slip off my shoes, and head over to the office to jump on the video call with Annette.

I spend the first fifteen minutes of the call telling her about the events at the Fitzgerald’s house. When I describe Charlie’s father to her, I want to be gracious, but I can’t find it in me. Not after what I saw and how he talked to Marianne and Charlie.

“I can’t even describe how afraid he made me feel. I keep trying to imagine being with someone like that long term. What that must do to a woman. And how do you raise a child with a man like that?”

We spend the rest of our hour talking about my progress since I started seeing her and how I’m feeling about the upcoming anniversary of Teddy’s death. I’m proud of the growth I’ve experienced this year and that I’ve learned how to deal with my traumatic memories. I’m not always perfect, but I know the tools at my disposal. My greatest accomplishment, though, is that I found me again.

When we end our call, I walk upstairs and change out of my work clothes. I peek out the bedroom window, but Charlie is no longer out there splitting wood. Hmm. He’s not up here either.

I skip down the steps to look for him. I long for our usual closeness as these last two days have felt wrongwith the distance between us. That needs to end today because I miss him, and I have to make sure he’s okay after everything that went down.

I walk into the kitchen and see him through the French doors. He’s sitting on the deck with a beer in hand, staring out into the woods. Instead of going out immediately, I pause and look at his profile, but I can’t read his expression. It almost looks like he’s in a daze. After I pour a glass of wine, I join him on the deck.

“Hey there,” I say, quietly. When I lean down and kiss him on the cheek, he doesn’t react. He doesn’t try to kiss my lips or pull me into his lap. Disappointed, I take a seat next to him.

“Hi.” He turns his head to look at me and gives me a small smile, but his eyes are flat, and he quickly looks away. I’m hit with a queasiness and an awareness that something is off. Something bigger than just needing to talk about the other day.

“Charlie? What’s going on?” I have to force the words out because part of me is afraid of what he’s going to say.

He’s back to staring at the woods. “Thanks for being so kind to my mom the other day.”

“Of course, she’s lovely. I’m sorry she went through all of that. And that it seems like maybe it’s not the first time.”

Charlie leans forward in his chair and clasps his large hands together in front of him, looking at the ground.

“You wouldn’t know this to look at her now, but my mom was amazing when she was younger. She was a children’s author. Had three books in a series and an offer for a publishing deal to write three more. They offered her a sizable advance for the six books. And the illustrations, God, she was so multi-talented. Did them all herself and they were just gorgeous.”

“Wow, Charlie. That’s so cool.” Who would have thought meek Marianne is a successful author? Shame washes over me for being surprised at that. I guess I judged a book by her cover.

“She turned it down because my father had an issue with his wife having that kind of success.”

“What? I don’t understand. S-she just accepted that?” My voice is quiet, stunned.

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