Page 56 of Second Chance Savior

My mind went back in time.

Eighteen years ago.

After the day I’d carried her in the rain, we’d managed to get along for the rest of the summer. No, it had been more than that. We’d been close friends the rest of that visit. Ross, Charlie, and me. Even her little sisters. We were one big happy family, laughing and carefree until Ross and I had to leave.

But secretly, after that day in the rain, I’d wanted her so damn much.

When I’d returned to school, Charlie and I had kept in touch. Exchanging emails every few days. Sharing jokes, stuff about our daily lives. Classes and friends.

Her messages had kept me going. I’d hung on every word.

And at night, I had dreamed about her. Hot, desperate dreams of the things we might do together. What might’ve happened if I’d been brave enough to kiss her.

She had known I planned to join the Navy. But as my eighteenth birthday passed and high school graduation loomed, I had decided enlistment could wait a little longer. I’d ached to see her again.

One more summer.

Then I’d realized how selfish I was being.

My intentions had been far from noble. I’d wanted to see her for one last summer, explore the chemistry I’d always had with her. And then…what? Expect her to wait for me? Or worse, break her heart? We were just kids.

I’d had so much to prove back then. To my father, my teachers, my peers. Charlie hadn’t fit those plans. She’d deserved better than what I’d had to give.

“I was going to leave eventually anyway. I thought it would be easier for us both.”

“Well, it wasn’t easier for me,” she said. “Not because of some childish crush. I got over that. But it hurt to lose your friendship.”

“Then I’m sorry.”

The tires rushed over the asphalt. We were both so quiet, I heard a click as she swallowed.

“Your turn,” she said.

I didn’t want to ask. But also, it was killing me not to.

“When did you and Ross get together?”

Ross had never told me. We hadn’t talked much once I was in the Navy. On top of my regular duties, I’d been busting my ass to prepare for SEAL training and get permission to attend BUD/s. I hadn’t wanted to look back. I’d known Ross was going to college in Colorado, and eventually, I’d heard through our mom that Ross and Charlie were dating. I’d felt empty for weeks afterward. Like I’d lost something crucial, even though I’d never had it.

“Ross and I were just friends for a long time,” she said. “We were juniors in college before our relationship really got going. I thought we’d break up after graduation, but Ross decided to stay in Denver with me. He wanted to give us a real shot. And I agreed.”

Dammit. Why had I asked? It was a knife in the chest to hear those words.

Ihadn’tgotten over my childhood crush on her. It had only grown. Year after year. An inner defect I couldn’t shake. I’d been the sick bastard with feelings for my brother’s girl.

I scanned the road, desperate for a distraction. An SUV had just pulled onto the road about a half mile behind us. I didn’t get a good look at it before the road curved.

“I was working at a nonprofit in Denver,” she went on, “making plans for grad school and running for local office. Ross was getting his masters in journalism. You were a SEAL. Off living your action-packed, heroic life. I hardly ever saw you.”

I’d run into Charlie and Ross a handful of times while on leave. Like a certain Christmas, right after Ross had asked her to marry him. Ten years ago.

“Did you ever think about me?” she asked.

“You’re asking if I ever thought about you while you were engaged to my brother?” I knew the answer. But how could I admit that to her?

She winced. “Never mind. I shouldn’t have.”

I caught another brief glimpse of that SUV behind us.

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