Page 69 of Starcrossed Colorado

I wanted to make Emma laugh. Spend time with her, and feel the warmth of her smile on me. I wanted to hang out with her and Maisie. The three of us.

Grace had it wrong. I wasn’t going for the first woman to come my way. I’d had opportunities before. Emma was the first woman who’d broken past every barrier I put up just by beingher.

“Then what’s stopping you? Is it the guy she’s sitting with?”

“Him? No. He’s nobody.” Unless she decided to leave here with him, but I didn’t care to consider that possibility. “It’s me. My last relationship…ended badly.”

Callie tapped her glass against mine. “I feel you there.”

The other day, when that envelope from LA had arrived, it forced me to think about Lori’s secrets. Things that still weren’t resolved, even three years after losing her. I’d been holding on to the idea that I would understand her death someday. I was stuck picking up the pieces and trying to make some sort of picture with them.

They were never going to fit.

I was afraid of what might happen if the world knew the truth I was hiding. But the tighter I held that secret, the harder it was for anyone to get close.

I wanted to hold Emma close. So damn much.

I glanced at her table again. Then I cursed. My head swiveled as I looked for Emma, but she was gone.

“Oh, no.” Callie gave me a sympathetic look. “The guy next to her is gone too. They must’ve left together. I’m sorry.”

No way. I was not going to let this happen. Not after what I’d just realized. “I gotta go.”

“Are you going after her? Please say you’re going after her.”

“Yeah. I am.”

“Good luck!”

I ran for the door.

SEVENTEEN

Emma

From the cornerof my eye, I watched Ashford chatting up some blond. Unbelievable.

The man had kissed me two days ago, but just like that, he’d moved on to the next.

“I’m going to head out,” I said.

Josh, the out-of-towner I’d been sitting with, looked disappointed. “We were just going to play some pool. You don’t want to stay for a round?”

“No, thanks. Have fun though. It was nice meeting you.” I finished my soda and got the heck out of there.

The last thing in the world I wanted to see was Ashford hooking up. I now had confirmation that our kiss the other day had meant nothing to him.

Ugh, my chest was in a vise.

Just outside the brewery, Main Street was busy, but the crowd thinned as I walked. It was a cool summer night with a bright moon overhead. The air smelled of pine, and I tried to focus on all those pleasant sensations instead of the fist currently crushing my heart.

The only reason I’d gone out tonight was to get away from Ashford’s apartment. Maisie had a sleepover at Piper’s, so Iwould’ve been alone with him. Not something I could handle. But the brewery had been the wrong call.

I had been taking some space the last couple of days, just for my own wellbeing. Cuddling up with Stella, writing in my journal. I’d been spending just as much time with Maisie as before, since this had nothing to do with her. But after two days of rehashing what had happened and writing about my feelings, I still felt the same about Ashford.

I liked him. Wanted to be around him.

Which made me such a fool.

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