Page 18 of Ironhold: Trial Five

“I… don't know what you're talkingabout,” I say. There is no way I'm admitting my part in the spectral covenantto Vex. He says that he is dissatisfied with the games the way they're run, butisn't it just as likely that he has agreed to serve the emperor by finding outwhat I know?

“You don't trust me,” Vex says.“That is understandable, but consider your position, Lyra.”

“Is this where you tell me how badyou make things for me if I don't cooperate with you?” I ask. If Vex tries tohurt me, I will fight him with all the powers at my disposal. It doesn't matterthat doing so will expose that I still have access to those powers. Not withVex.

“I believe bad things are alreadyhappening to you,” Vex says. “You are being forced to keep fighting in thegames past your five seasons, correct?”

He knows about the emperor’s deal?I nod.

“And Alaric is being kept alive toensure your compliance,” Vex continues. “Neither of these things is acceptable.The games should not be tampered with in such a way, and Alaric… for all thathe is a fool who has he let himself fall in love with the likes of you, he isstill one of the finest nobles of the empire. It is not right for the emperorto treat him in such a way. A… certain group of fellow nobles agrees with me.”

Iagree with him but I don't want to do it out loud.This might still all be a way of entrapping me, getting me to condemn myselfand the others around me.

“I am just a gladiator,” I say. “Ifight now when I am commanded to fight.”

Vex smiles tightly. “You stilldon't trust me. As I say, that is understandable, but I hope you will changeyour mind soon. The very fate of the empire, and of these games, depends uponit.”

Chapter Ten

I stumble back to Ironhold at theconclusion of the games for the day, marching with the other gladiators whohave survived in procession while my mind reels with the things Vex said to me.Was he serious about representing a group of nobles who want to change thecurrent system of the empire? Who wants to overthrow the emperor, perhaps?

He has not said as much, but theimplication was clear. I don't know what to make of it, whether he's serious orwhether it's a trap. I feel as though I'm bobbing on a small boat, seeing astorm approaching and not knowing which way to turn to avoid being swept awayby it.

Carts carry the injured and thedead back to the fortress. I wonder about that briefly, about how much of thedead is brought back, to be buried unceremoniously in the depths of Ironhold.Again and again I have been told that the magic of the dead flows into thestones beneath Aetheria, feeding them and ensuring that they continue to pumpout power. Those who fall are as much sacrifices as simply victims of thecruelty of the arena.

It's a troubling thought, but then,everything about my situation is troubling. I am caught up in the games, butnow I don't even have the opportunity for freedom that everyone else has. Iwill keep fighting, keep taking part in the games, until the emperor tires ofme. I doubt he will simply let me go then either. Probably he will have mekilled. But if this is my only way of keeping Alaric from being killed forsaving me, what choice do I have?

Lord Darius is waiting when we getback, for a ceremony that he repeats every night of the games.

“You have come through the firstday of the games, but many have not. It is our custom to honor those who havedied. The fallen!”

He slams his fist to his chest andraises it in salute.

“The fallen!” we repeat, copyingthe gesture. There is a moment of silence that follows, each of us rememberingthose who have died. I find myself remembering Aya in the moment when I killedher. The pain of having to do that is still fresh. I grieve for her, even as Itake responsibility for having done it.

The next part is every bit asfamiliar. Those of us who can go to the practice posts and training rooms,going through our fights either alone or with others. Normally, I would gothrough the day with either Rowan or Alaric. Alaric is not here, and Rowankeeps away from me, as if afraid I will drag him into a conspiracy he does notwant to be a part of.

It means I must train alone, goingthrough my fight step by step, trying to work out what I could have donedifferently to avoid the wounds I suffered. Clearly, I should have taken thesight of the birds earlier, but howmuchearlier? The fact that I couldnot see on my way out made my performance more convincing to the emperor andothers. It hid the fact that I still had my powers more completely than if Ihad used the sight of the birds to guide me in those early phases.

There is a broader question there:how am I going to use my powers through the rest of these games without itbeing obvious? If it is a matter of life and death, then I will have to useevery scrap of power at my disposal, but if I can do it any other way, I mustdisguise my actions. I must make people believe that I am fighting withoutaccess to my powers, surviving purely because of my physical skills.

There is a way to do that, but itis not one I like. Lady Elara has taught me the skills of the beast whisperers,and some of those skills are dark and dangerous, dominating animals rather thansoothing them, taking attributes from them, setting them against one another.It is possible to borrow the strength or sight of an animal, its claws or itsteeth. It is a skill that I have been cautious about beyond borrowing the sightof a few birds, and with good reason. If I take too much, I might kill the animalsI borrow from. If I am too cautious, too slow about the way I give thatstrength back, I might find myself transformed, losing track of my own shape.

It is a precarious balancing actand one I hope I can avoid. I have gotten through fights just with theadditional sight the birds have given me, and a few reflexes borrowed fromthem. I hope I will not need more than that, even as I fear that I will.

I keep working for a while, thenhead to the bathhouse to clean the grime from me. The water turns briefly redwith blood, some of it my own, some of it that of Aya. The stains of the sandfade away from me, and finally I'm able to head back to the dining hall.

There is music here and some degreeof celebration. There are always those who like to drink and dance on thenights of the games. To slip into one another's rooms and seek solace in anyarms they can. For the most part, the more serious gladiators hold back untilthe games are done. It is better not to overindulge when we will have to fightagain tomorrow.

I take one small cup of wine andsome stew, eating alone in a corner. It seems that everyone is either afraid ofme or dislikes me. Even Rowan doesn't want to be around me at the moment. I sitthere and I watch the others, but there is only so long I can watch otherpeople celebrating as if it might be their last night of life. Especially whensome of them will undoubtedly be proved right in the morning.

I slip away from the celebrations,not heading for my room for now, but instead moving up through the fortress,towards the space that serves as both the gallery and a temple, filled withstatues of the gladiators who have gone before, each marked with their namesand their deeds. It is the place where I first met Vex, and his actions todaymake me wonder what I should do next. I suspect I will have to wait to see whathis intentions truly are. If he is trying to entrap me, then his patience willnot last long.

When that patience runs out, whatthen? Will he have me dragged into a torture chamber? Will he simply have mekilled?

I'm not sure exactly why I havecome to the gallery space. Perhaps it has something to do with the statue ofValerian, most famous of all the beast whisperers who has passed through thecolosseum in the past. Her image shows her sitting atop a pile of slaincreatures as if they are a throne for her. The statue stares out with whatseems like unforgiving cruelty at the world. I wonder if she was really likethat, or if the sculptor merely decided that was the story he wanted to tellabout her. Did she ever have doubts about the use of her powers? The storiesI've heard suggest that she didn't, that she was happy to be a thing out ofnightmares.

Is that what Lady Elara will showto the city in her coup? Will she unleash that side of the beast whisperers onthem?

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