Page 25 of Ironhold: Trial Five

“That… so many people will die!” Isay.

“They deserve it!” Lady Elara snapsback. “This city is filled with people who have hated our kind. Who cares if afew of them die? We cannot rebuild this city until the old order has beenreduced to ashes!”

The violence in her tone takes meaback. I had been thinking that Lady Elara’s rebellion might be the morereasonable choice of the options available to me, but now… she sounds as if herapproach will be nothing but a slaughter.

“Has all of this just been aboutrevenge for you?” I demand. “I thought you wanted me to help you make thingsbetter.”

She doesn't quite push down thislook of anger. “You should show a little more gratitude, Lyra. I have done somuch for you. I have trained you. I have sought to protect you. And yet, nowyou're questioning my intentions. You should show a little more loyalty to yourown kind. Do you think anyone else will protect us? Do you think Vex will?”

I go to answer that but she wavesthe attempt away.

“No, don't bother. I find this fartoo tiresome. I'm sure once you've had a chance to reflect, you realize whatthe correct side in all of this is. You will remember that you are where youare for a reason.”

“To stir up the people on yourbehalf,” I say. “To keep them on your side. And the moment I do anything likethat, Alaric dies.”

Alaric and so many others. I thinkof the people I saw on the street with Vex. How many of those people will bekilled in this violence?

“People are going to die,” LadyElara says, as if it's simple and obvious. “He’s just one more noble among therest of them. The first place the beasts will go are the noble houses. Whenthey are ripped out of the city, maybe we can start again.”

“You… you’re insane.”

“If you think that, then you are afool,” Lady Elara says. “I only hope that when you think about it, you willcome to a better conclusion. Now go please. It is worth the risk of being seenspending time with you when I think it might achieve something for the good ofthe city, but when all it does is irritate me further… no. Out.”

She dismisses me the way she mightany other servant. Because I suspect that that's all I am to her. I suspect I'ma tool to be used to get the ends that she desires. Do I think she would be abetter ruler than Vex? Than the gangs under Bella? Probably. Do I want to upendthe entire empire, to risk Alaric’s life just so that she can slaughter halfthe city on her way to the throne? That is a very different question.

“Oh, and send the young woman,Cesca in when you go,” Lady Elara says.

That is a very pointed thing to do.It is her way of showing how angry she is with me. It is the kind of thingthat, if we were actually lovers, rather than working together against theempire, would be a deliberate insult, a slap in the face as she chooses someoneelse. The rumors will all say that's what's going on, that she has put measide. It's her way of pushing me away, and I go.

Little by little the choices arebecoming clearer. The trouble is none of them are good ones. The groups seekingto overthrow the emperor all seek different things but mostly they want to puttheir own people on the throne. Vex offers a version of the old order thatpromises to be every bit as brutal as the current emperor. Bella offers thechaos of the gangs if she is not contained. Lady Elara wants to unleash atorrent of beasts to ravage the city, then rule in the aftermath. That willcreate simple chaos, in which too many people will die.

There has to be another way throughall this, but I cannot see it.

Chapter Fourteen

I feel dejected when Ireturn to Ironholdforthe night. I'm being pulled in so many different directions that I fear I willbe torn apart. I barely pay attention through Lord Darius’s usual tribute tothe slain, and head off alone to practice and keep out of the way of theothers.

Cesca shoots me a triumphant smileas I do it, as if she believes she has won some kind of contest by catchingLady Elara’s attention. I don't bother to correct her. If anything, this isprobably good for me because it means she won't be coming at my back again in ahurry. She won't have any reason to, because Lady Elara wouldn't send her atme.

At least Ithinkshewouldn't. If I stand against her, it's hard to tell how she'll react. It'sclear that she will do anything for her cause, and if she decides I am in theway of that, then I may be an obstacle to be removed.

For now, at least, that is only asmall part of my problems. I stand there at the practice posts, pretending togo over my fight but actually thinking more about the aftermath. Thinking aboutmy conversation with Vex and the one that followed with Lady Elara.

I'm so busy thinking about it allthat I barely notice as Rowan approaches.

“You look as though you have a loton your mind,” he says.

“I do but… it's related toeverything we talked about before,” I reply. I don't want to push him awayfurther by talking about rebellion again.

“I need to apologize to you forthat,” Rowan says. “I saw your bout today. You shouldn't have had to fightalone like that. You should have people backing you up.”

“Even when it comes to somethinglike rebellion?” I ask.

Rowan shakes his head. “I stilldon't want any part of something like that. I still think it's too dangerousfor the people around us and for the ordinary folk. If you could give me a waythat doesn’t cost everyone so much, maybe, but for now…” he shakes his head. “Istill don't want to lose you as a friend and as an ally in here.”

He reaches out a hand and I takeit, feeling his strength. There was a time when I would have felt the urge formore than just that, when his presence so close to me would have firedsomething in me demanding that I move into the circle of his arms. Not now,though. Now, it seems that only Alaric affects me that way.

“Do you want to talk about it all?”Rowan asks me.

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