Page 37 of Going Home

"Why not?"

Her eyes lock with his, and there's an innocence he never expected to see. Considering all the dirty things he's done with her, the pure look she wears nearly takes his breath away. "Because your family lives in Summerville. You belong there, and it's become very clear that I never did."

"Dad's kind of on the outs with pretty much everyone," she says. "His opinion doesn't matter to anyone. Mom almost kicked him out for what he did."

"It'll change again. Trust me."

"I do."

Even though he'd have fallen at her feet to hear those words months ago, right now, it feels like she just clawed at his chest for how badly it stings. "Go home."

"Why don't you take me home? To your home?"

This thing we have, it's fun. It's exciting, and if we go to your place, it'll feel like something real. It'll take away from what we have going on.

She never wanted to take anything outside of the clubhouse when they were in Summerville. Told him it would ruin things. That was the moment Venom knew for sure nothing would ever last between them because it hadn't officially started.

"I live here in the clubhouse," he says. "Besides, if I take you to my place, that ruins the illusion, remember?"

"I want something real. And I want it with you."

"Just because you can't find another man who can fuck you and make you come doesn't mean you want shit with me. You had a chance, and you threw me away like trash. That's all you ever saw me as."

Gasping, she steps back. "It's not like that."

"You don't want me for anything more than a physical release. The type you can't get from another man because they're not willing to put in the work to love you like I did. You became addicted to the high, while I fell in love. And you spit in my face when it came time to decide whether you had feelings for me or not."

"Venom—"

"I'm not good enough for you, remember? I see it, too, so don't worry about not feeling guilty. Just about everyone in my life has told me the same thing, so it's nothing new, but I am good enough for someone out there. Someone who will see me for what I have to offer, and it'll be enough.I'llbe enough. I won't be kept in dark corners or used like some dirty whore becauseshewon't see me as dirt."

Tears fill her eyes, and he forces himself to keep his hands to himself even though he wants nothing more than to wipe them away. "I didn't mean it," she whispers.

"Yes, you did," he says, his voice much softer, and he steps towards her. Taking a chance, he gently cups her cheek. "And it's okay, Marnie."

She tilts her head to rest her cheek against his palm, and his hand becomes damp from her tears. "No, it's not. No one has ever looked at me like you do, and I was an idiot for not seeing it and appreciating it before. To have to lose you before I realize how much you mean to me."

"You'll find someone else to look at you," Venom says, dropping his hand and stepping back. "You don't need me."

"Yes, I do," she says, and he can't look at her as a sob escapes from between the rosy red lips that takes everything in him not to kiss. "I need you. More than that, I want you."

Shaking his head, he turns and faces the clubhouse. "No, you want what I gave you in the shadows. The taste of darkness you'd never quite touched before, but I don't live there anymore."

"That's not what I'm talking about," she says, her hand shaking as it touches his bicep. "I'm talking about how you make me feel. The way you'd call me 'love' no matter how many times I told you not to. How you saved me. Twice. The reason you wouldn't let me get on my knees for you. I want that man. And I want him in the daylight and in public as well as the darkness of the night."

"Just as long as your father doesn't see, right?"

Her words are the exact ones he's dreamt of her saying for months now. He should be taking her into his arms and kissing her senseless, but he can't. For some reason, hearing her talk about the things he did for her when all she gave him was crumbs pisses him off.

"Fuck my father. I don't give a shit," Marnie says.

Turning, he locks eyes with her and clenches his teeth. "Yeah, Marnie, you do. If you didn't, you wouldn't have waited until his reputation was shit to show up here. And even now, I doubt he knows you're here. Here and talking to me. In fact, I doubt he knows you got your rocks off fucking me against his clubhouse."

"I don't tell him about my sex life because that would be weird. Would you tell your mom about yours?"

There might be some logic to that, but he doesn't want to hear it. Not when she wanted to keep him a dirty little secret while he was head over heels for her. Would have done anything she asked him to. "No, you don't tell him about your sex life with me because you know he'd be disgusted."

"I don't care what he thinks!" she shouts. "Do you want me to tell him to prove to you that I'm serious? I'll call him right now and tell him everything."

---