Page 38 of Going Home

His hand stops her as she pulls her phone from her pocket. As much as he'd love to destroy her relationship with her father out of spite, it's the only security she has in Summerville. Venom can't risk her being unprotected without him around to keep her safe. "Don't make a mistake you can't take back. I'm not worth it. You told me as much, remember?"

"I was wrong, Venom," she says, more tears appearing. "I've never been more wrong about anything or anyone in my entire life. Tell me how I can make this up to you. I'll do anything. Just don't walk away from me again."

"That's where you're confused. I didn't walk away from you, Marnie. You kicked me to the curb when you thought it was more important to save face with your dad than to admit you actually have feelings for me."

Swallowing, she wipes her eyes. "This isn't you. You said you loved me, and someone who loves me would accept that I have faults, too. That I make mistakes. This version of you is just mean."

"Mean?" he shouts. "I'm doing my damnedest to get over you, and you show up here thinking one conversation is going to make everything okay? Now that your daddy's on my level in terms of how people view him, I'm suddenly worthy? What you're doing to me is mean. No, actually, it's cruel. Because the moment I feel like I'm finally starting to be able to breathe without you near, you show up here to remind me that I have a lung full of razor blades. I'm not the one being mean, here."

"I feel the same without you," she whispers.

"No, you don't!" He throws his hands in the air and places them on the top of his head to keep from reaching out and shaking her by the shoulders. "If you did, you would have done something before tonight. You told me that what we were doing meant nothing more to you than simply fucking."

"I never said that!" she shouts back.

Closing his eyes, he takes a deep breath. "Not in so many words, but when you told me that coming back to my place would make what we had real, that's what it meant. To me, what we had was everything.Youwere everything. You don't get to show up here and think that this changes a damned thing. It fixes nothing because there's no way to fix what's been broken."

Her hand trembles as she wipes the tears from her face, all frustration from a moment ago gone. He'd give anything to not have her vulnerability and pain affect him.

"It's not broken beyond repair. You're the one for me, and I want you to call me 'love' again. I want you to take me home. To pull me onto your lap in the middle of the clubhouse full of people to claim me as yours. I want you to look me in the eyes and tell me you love me with passion rather than pain. I hate that I hurt you."

"Yeah? Me, too."

"Please. I'll get on my knees. I'll beg. Whatever you need to see I mean every word I say, I'll do."

His eyes widen as Marnie falls to her knees on the parking lot pavement, and he immediately flashes back to how Chuck forced her to do just this. The man he put through a meat grinder. "Get up."

"Only if we can make this work."

"I saidget up."

Shaking her head, she remains defiant. "No."

He grabs her forearms and pulls her to stand, lifting her a little higher than necessary and off the ground. "I can't have you on your knees in a parking lot. I can't have you on your knees ever," he growls. "You know that."

"Because you still love me, and you saved me. Admit it, Venom. You still love me."

"Of course, I still love you!" Venom shouts in her face. "But that doesn't change a fucking thing! I loved you in Summerville, and you told me I was nothing but mud on your shoe."

"Let me get on my knees for you in a bedroom. Let me show you that I can make you feel just as good—"

"I know how good your body feels without needing you on your knees. If you know me so damn well, you'd stop trying to remind me of one of the worst moments of my life. Yours, too. I will forever remember every inch of your body. What it feels like when you come on my face. How you like when I take you from behind against the clubhouse. It won't ever go away, but I don't need any repeats. And I sure as hell don't need you to remind me because it's burned in my brain. It's never going to be something I forget no matter how hard I fucking try to."

Her eyes cast towards the ground, and she clasps her hands in front of her. "So, that's it? You love me, but I made a mistake, and you can't ever forgive me for it?"

"I don't believe you truly think it was a mistake. You miss what I gave you, and I know that once you get it again, we'll be right back where we were."

"That's not true," she whispers.

"I believe you believe that. Now. But I don't believe it'll last. I'm not the one for you. I'm no good for you, Marnie."

Sniffling, she nods, unable to meet his gaze. "And there's nothing I can do to change your mind? Nothing to prove that I mean it when I say I want us to be together and have something that's great and real?"

He looks around the parking lot rather than at her. "You should probably get out of here before Lex sees you. She's going through some shit, and I think kicking someone's ass for sport might give her some relief. I don't want you around, but I don't want you hurt, either."

"That's funny," Marnie says as she turns and slowly walks away. "You did a great job of that yourself. I think I'd rather let Lex punch me in the face than hear you tell me you can't forgive me for a mistake I made."

Venom just stares as she gets into her car and leaves, and everything in him shouts to get on his bike and race after her. Tell her he wants her as much as she says she wants him, but he's already been the vulnerable one. He can't open his heart again. Not if it's not real. And with her, he’s lost all trust. Going through it all again will be the end of whatever humanity he has left.

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