Page 95 of Going Home

"You're not really pissed at Lex, Zane. You're pissed at Lane. And you should be. I know what it's like, and I know it feels wrong. But Lane's the one who left you."

His fist connects with his father's eye before he even realizes he's swung, but he still grabs his shirt and stares daggers into his eyes. "Don't you ever fucking talk about my wife again."

Pushing him back, VP straightens himself out. "You heard about the meeting the old ladies had while we were in deep with the Slashers, right?" He waits for Zane's nod. "Well, your wife was on the side wanting to take your kid and leave you."

"Bullshit."

There's no way Lane would leave me. Especially with my daughter.

"It's not. You can ask any old lady about it, but you know who stopped her? Your sister. And Emma. They fought for you and the rest of us wearing the Drifter leather. You're just too ungrateful and selfish to see that you're the problem, Zane. Not Emma. Not Lex. You."

"Or maybe it's you. And I don't believe for one fucking minute Emma would fight for me or anyone else in this club unless she was fucking them. Are you sure yours is the only cock she's sucking?"

His head hits the clubhouse, but it barely registers. Zane's numb with pain at this point, but his father looks ready to murder him. "You get some leeway because it's Lane's funeral, but don't talk about Emma like that ever again. And if you don't believe me, go ask Tess. Or any other woman in there. Autumn and Lane were close. She'll tell you. She, Avery, Lane and Summer wanted to leave us behind because they were scared that we couldn't do our job and protect them."

Shaking his head, Zane pushes his father backwards. There's nothing he can say that will make him believe Lane was ever going to leave him like that.

"You'd rather be angry at the person who's only ever wanted you to like her. At this point, I'm pretty sure she's given up on you ever loving her, but she takes so much from you because you've never been able to direct your feelings at the right people. At the ones who deserve it."

"Whatever."

"If you ever go after your sister again, I'll knock you flat on your fucking ass. And considering her husband is now your President, you might want to shape up. I can only fight so much for you, and you're making it really fucking difficult to want to. You have almost no relationship with anyone else, so figure your shit out, Zane. If not for you, then do it for Margaret."

The fact his brother-in-law is President hasn't escaped Zane. In fact, he knows it's going to create a lot of issues, but he hasn't had the energy to give a shit about it yet.

"You think it's a coincidence that everyone who hates me is now at the head of the fucking table,Dad?" he snaps, sarcasm dripping from his tone. "You don't have the balls to say or do what you think you should, so you're going to take the easy way out like you always do. Like Emma."

A large hand grips his throat, and Zane almost wishes his father would kill him. It would end his misery. Instead, he squeezes just tight enough to make it uncomfortable. "I'm not going to tell you again to keep her name out of your mouth. But you're the only one who has given those men a reason to hate you. I get you're hurting. I really do. But if you don't shape up soon, you're going to lose this family. And I'm not talking about the club."

"I don't even know who you are anymore," Zane says and pushes VP back. He's free from his father's grip and balls his hands at his side. "You know what? If I'm going to lose this family, then let's just call it a day. You clearly picked your bastard child you had with a whore you fucked while my mother laid dying over your son, so you're as dead to me as everyone else is."

"You're not doing what Mom wanted," Margaret shouts from behind him.

He whips around to face his daughter as VP looks at his granddaughter with pain in his eyes. "Margaret—"

"I won't leave you because I promised Mom I wouldn't, but I don't like who you are anymore, Dad. I love you, but you're so mean to everyone. Mom wanted you to have people, but you pushed them all away."

"Have you eaten anything, sweetie?" VP asks.

When Margaret shakes her head, he shoots his son a look before bringing her into the clubhouse. Zane couldn't find the words to comfort his daughter, and he feels like the world is crashing down around him. With nothing else to do, he pulls the envelope Lex handed him from his pocket and tears it open. His breath hitches as he recognizes the handwriting. Lane.

Baby,

I know you're angry. It's how you deal with anything bad, but your anger at Lex will only make things worse for you.

Whether you want to hear this or not, Lex has always had your back. First, when she convinced me to stay with you when I struggled with the club. Then, she protected me and our unborn daughter when she took my place and got kidnapped with Ky's kids. Most recently, she stopped me from taking Margaret away and disappearing because I was scared.

Lex doesn't want to hurt you, and she's done nothing but try and protect you. She always forgives you, and I think in her own way, she tries whatever she can to earn your love. The hatred you have for her is something I can't understand, and the only time it's waivered was when she returned home after her teenage years. Yet, even though you treat her terribly, she always protects you and me.

You need people, baby, and you need to fight your instincts to let your anger get the better of you because it will consume you and cost you everything. You can't afford that right now. I need you to turn your anger where it's deserved. At me. At God. At the universe. But your family does not deserve it. And Margaret sure as hell doesn't deserve a father with so much hatred in his heart that he can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. So help me, if you ever turn your anger on her, I will haunt your ass from beyond the grave.

There's something that's been broken inside of you since your mom died, and you have to focus on figuring out what that is. Then you need to figure out how to heal it. I've tried for so many years to help you do it, but I'm gone now. You have to finish the work on your own, and I hope you can do it before it's too late. My biggest fear is that you'll do something you can't come back from, and I don't want you to lose everything and everyone you love because you're hell-bent on being mad.

Your mom and I left you. Be angry with us. We can take it. Neither of us ever wanted to do that, but we didn't have a choice.

Asking Lex to be my POA was a mistake. Not because I regret my decision regarding treatment but because of what it did to your relationship. I wish I had another choice, but the truth is that you're selfish, Zane. I love you with all of my heart, but you'll put your wants and desires ahead of others, and I knew you'd go against my wishes. To do that wouldn't be fair to any of us, and Lex did what I knew you couldn't be strong enough to do. I just hate that I put her in the position I did.

I asked Lex to help look after Margaret. Our daughter needs a strong female figure in her life, and I want her to know how much she's loved. Especially by her aunt. Please don't stop Margaret from having Lex there. She needs as many people as possible to get through this. If you listen to anything in his letter, please let it be this plea.

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